As I sit in Hickory, NC, I have been reminiscing about our life here. Gaylon was a pastor in Hickory for eight years. We still have friendships that have lasted more than thirty years. I am talking about the kind of friendships where you stay in touch regularly, sometimes travel together, and lean on each other. When you find those friendships, they are a treasure.

Gaylon and I are in Hickory visiting our grandson Tucker who is eleven going on twenty-one! Tucker is such a joy. As I watch his laughter, it makes me think of his father Bryan. Bryan was a jovial, humorous, larger-than-life personality. Tucker is definitely a chip off the old block.

Many of you reading this know that Bryan passed away three months before Tucker was born. To say that was a challenging time would be an understatement. Bryan was so thrilled that he was having a son, and he even put together Tucker’s crib, not knowing he would never see his boy sleep in that crib. The pain of that period was close to unbearable for all of our family, especially for Bryan’s wife.

Were there tears and sorrow? Boatloads. I would not have chosen this path, but today, I came to testify of the goodness and sustaining power of God. Our faith in God remained strong even though our pain was great. We had no idea what the future would look like, but we knew God was holding us. Faith was not a feeling, but a choice.

Walking with God through deep pain and heartaches has taught me more about his faithfulness than any sermon or Bible verse. He has used that grief for good. I did not say grief is good, or that God caused death to bring good, but without hesitation I can say that God has used grief for good. He is the God of redemption. He is the God who brings beauty from ashes.

So often we hear the phrase “God is good” in the context of a wonderful event that took place. “God is good” is often an amen to everything going our way. But God is good even when times are bad. The truth is, God is good because that is His character, not because of anything good that I may be experiencing now. God’s goodness is independent of my circumstances. His goodness is not dependent on my health, wealth, or prosperity. One will be sorely disappointed if they think serving God means only good circumstances will flow. He is simply good. In fact, twelve years after Bryan’s death, I see how God has been with us, how He has strengthened us, how He has used us. Yes, even after catastrophic, unexplainable events in life, God is good.

Is the path before you hard today? God is good. He will not let you walk it alone. God is not absent, and He will not forsake you. He is fully aware of what is happening to you. Choose faith. Accept the treasure of Emmanuel – God is with us!

I look at Mr. Tucker Bryan Benton and say, “God is good! God is faithful! Blessed be the name of the Lord!”

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!”-Psalm 34:8.

Sitting on the dresser in my bedroom is a small figurine of a little girl with blonde hair. This trinket literally came from a dollar store and has been on my dresser for fifteen years. Scattered around the room in which the figurine sits are much more expensive items. Yet, the little blonde girl is so precious to me that she sits front and center on the dresser.

One might wonder why I would display a one-dollar knickknack that actually looks like a one-dollar knickknack. Here is the story.

When our first grandchild was born, we were thrilled. Madison Elizabeth Benton came into this world and my heart melted. One of my greatest desires was that this baby girl would love me deeply. As a baby, Madison lived nearly nine hundred miles from us. I used every frequent flyer I had going to see her. God even blessed me with a couple of speaking engagements in Wisconsin which enabled me to see her for a few days. Madison’s family also visited us when they could. At a very young age, she knew who I was, and we cultivated a close, loving relationship.

Once while visiting in Alabama, Madison went with Papa to the dollar store. She saw the blonde-girl figurine and just had to buy it for me. She presented it with such love, and I showed her where we would display it so I could think of her every day. Madison is now nineteen years old and the little blonde girl still stands on my dresser. It does not matter to me that it is not a Hummel figurine worth thousands of dollars. What matters to me is the love behind the gift.

Some people have million-dollar voices, and some of us screech out the lyrics of a worship song. God does not sit on His throne accepting the worship of only those who have marvelous voices. He does not turn His head when the screechers lift a voice of worship. All God hears is the love behind the song.

Nowhere in Scripture does it say you need musical skills to sing to the Lord. But in several places, it commands us to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Musical talent has nothing to do with personal worship to God. God wants us to find such joy and excitement in Him that we cannot contain it. I have been known to walk around my house and sing rather loudly when it is just me and God.

When I think about the Lord
How He saved me how He raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost
When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He placed my feet on solid ground
It makes me wanna shout

Hallelujah thank You Jesus
Lord You’re worthy of all the glory
And all the honor and all the praise
It makes me wanna shout
Hallelujah thank You Jesus
Lord You’re worthy of all the glory
And all the honor and all the praise

My singing may not be joyful to anyone in earshot, but it is perfectly joyful to my soul. No rocks will take my place when it comes to praising my Beloved!   How about you?  Are you are singer or a screecher?  It doesn’t matter at all.  Lift up your voice to the King of Kings who hears it in perfect pitch!

“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.” – Psalm 100:1

I recently read a cute joke:

INNKEEPER: The room is $50 a night, but only $25 if you make your own bed.
GUEST: I’ll make my own bed.
INNKEEPER: OK. I’ll get you some nails and wood.

Making our bed every day is essential at our house. There would be extenuating circumstances for that not to happen! My husband Gaylon and I have the bed made within ten minutes of getting up each morning.

I am the queen of accent pillows on furniture. I like the pop it can give a room or a piece of furniture. On our bed, there are a total of nine pillows which must be placed in just the right order each day. (Don’t judge!)

One morning while making the bed I put the pillows in the wrong order, and Gaylon followed me by putting the ones on his side in the wrong order. I said, “I do not know what I was thinking. These are wrong.”  He said, “I knew they were wrong, but I was following your lead.” We got a good little chuckle out of that.

Do you know what is not something to chuckle about? Following leaders in the Body of Christ who are missing the mark. There is far too much shallow teaching, blind followers, and self-indulgent leaders in the Church. Yep, I said it!

Charisma without character is a dangerous thing in a leader.

Recently I watched a two-hour documentary about a “Christian” leader who is now deceased. Literally thousands followed this man and attended his church. Hundreds of leaders in various countries invited this man to come and speak to their congregations or leadership conferences. Behind the scenes this man was living a corrupt life, and many knew it, but refused to say anything. Why? Because he told them he was a man of God. He used the scripture, “Touch not mine anointed.”

I listened to many women tell how he would send for them to come to his private chambers for a rendezvous. Some continued in this for years even though they admitted that they knew this was sinful according to the scriptures. Many lived in abject poverty as they worked for him because he told them God wanted them to work for nothing and serve the man of God.  Many were beaten if they got something wrong. Some were in bad health because they only got one meal a day. The stories were jaw-dropping.

All of what I described is incredibly sad. It is also sad to listen to those who were abused by this man. So many said, “I knew it was wrong, but he was just so gifted.” 

People of God, more than ever we need to study to show ourselves approved. If a leader asks us to engage in sinful behavior, leave that leader! If a leader is abusing us in any way, leave that leader! If a leader is twisting the word of God, leave that leader! It is my job and your job to know God’s word and not follow someone just because they are gifted. This is not a time to be spiritually lazy. Search the Word and spend time with the Author.

Following someone’s lead when you know they are wrong is deadly spiritually and possibly physically. The Bible tells us that by a person’s fruits we will know they are His, not by their charisma and giftedness. We must stop being charmed by giftedness alone.

God has many leaders who are upholding the standard of true Christian leadership. Ask Him to help you find that kind of leader. Like the Son of God, we are to lead not so we can be served, but to serve. – Mark 10:45

“Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.” – 1 John 4:1

Some of the hardest moments in life are the times when someone flat out lies about you, or intentionally distorts the truth. I have been there more than once.

Have you ever been lied about or done wrong, and it seems the perpetrator got away with it?

From a human standpoint, it is hard to reconcile the fact that one can do the right(eous) thing, and not get the expected result. Joseph, in scripture, said a resounding NO to the advances of Potiphar’s wife. He said NO over and over and stated that he would not sin against God by sleeping with another man’s wife. Where did it get Joseph? After Mrs. Potiphar lied about him, Joseph was thrown right into a dark prison cell.

How is that possible? Doesn’t the Bible say, “You reap what you sow?”  Indeed, it does, but the Bible never gives a time frame on reaping and sowing.

Joseph sat in that jail cell for two long years. It was unfair and incomprehensible. As Joseph sat there, an innocent man, he had a choice to make. He could be mad at life, mad at God, and say, “I will never serve God again. What good did that do me?” 

Joseph did not look at what was happening at that moment in life, and let the moment determine how he saw God. He continued serving God, continued being faithful to God, and continued trusting God. He even started a jail ministry!

After Joseph was in prison for two years, he got up one morning not knowing his deliverance was about to come. He woke up, brushed his teeth, tidied up his cot, ate a not-so-great prison breakfast, and did his regular slave work. It was just a regular old day in prison.

BUT GOD! God said, “Today, it is finished!”  Before the sun went down that day, Joseph was living in a palace and was the second most powerful person in the land.

It only took Joseph THIRTEEN years to arrive at the palace. Thirteen years of faithfulness in less than stellar circumstances. Thirteen years of right decisions in less than stellar circumstances. Thirteen years of serving God with no expensive suits, no pricey chariots, no beautiful wife, no book publisher, and no television program. Just a man who chose to be faithful to the One he loved and the One who loved him.

Do not give up doing the right(eous) things in this life! Walk in integrity. We serve a God who is a “BUT GOD” kind of God. He is not limited by what is happening in your life at this moment. This “BUT GOD” that we serve has the biggest “BUT” in the room! He is at work in your life. He has the final word.

One day, you will look back, and this will be your song.

“He’s been faithful, faithful to me, Looking back Your love and mercy I see,
In my heart I question if You’re there, and I fail to believe
But You’ve been faithful, faithful to me.”

I know I have said it often, but once again I say, “Life is hard!” 

Recently in prayer, I was telling God that life is overwhelming and the burdens are so heavy. My extended family is facing so many heartbreaking situations from ALS to cancer to Alzheimer’s. My older brother is having memory issues. He has two daughters, one is battling ALS, and the other is battling colon cancer. Their mom is stretched thin trying to keep up with all the needs. The golden years are not so golden for them right now.

I have five living siblings, and the above is the circumstance for one of them. That is just one situation and does not include health issues being faced by my other siblings. Life is hard! Burdens are heavy.

Jesus addressed one of the things with which so many deal today – heavy burdens. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

This passage should be a breath of fresh air. In a world that is exhausting with its toil, demands, and trials, God has a different way for His people. His way is life-giving, and it allows us to experience the fullness of life. 

Often, we hear this taught a little differently than what Jesus actually said, or we ourselves kind of misread this scripture. Jesus did not say come to me, and your burden will be gone immediately. Come to me, and you will not have to bear anything. That is not quite what He said. Jesus invited us to yoke up with Him, which makes our burden lighter because we do not carry it alone. When we are daily yoked with the Living God, we go where He goes; we stop where He stops. He is in control.

Each of us faces heavy burdens at times in our lives. As God’s children, each of us also has access to the power of God to help us through challenging times and to bring peace and joy into our lives. Sometimes the help comes by removal of the burden. Many times, the promised rest and peace come into our lives even though the burden is still present.

I wish I could promise you that you will never have another burden in your life. I wish I could promise you that you will never feel heaviness again. I cannot. I can invite you to walk with the burden lightener. Jesus said, “Is it feeling like too much for you to manage? Is the burden destructive to your peace? Then come and attach to my yoke. I will be gentle with you, and not beat you over the head. He says, “Come. I will carry the burden with you and lighten your load and give you peace and rest.”

That is a great offer. That is an offer I will take right now. How about you?

When our grandson Luke was a toddler, he brought us so many smiles.  He laughed and smiled about almost everything. He was just a fun kid.

There was one thing that Luke said regularly that brought big grins to all of us.  As he was beginning to talk, he couldn’t quite figure out how to form sentences correctly.  His response to things he did not like or did not want was, “I can’t wike it.”  He didn’t say I don’t like it, or I don’t want it. He would always say, “I can’t wike it.”   I remember offering him sliced bananas and one piece had a very small bruise on it.  He ate all the slices except for the bruised one.  I tried to get him to eat it, and his response was, “I can’t wike it.”

A new year was birthed yesterday.  It is hard to believe that 2024 is here.  In the year 2024, I make a suggestion that one of our themes as God’s people be, “I can’t wike it.” 

• When ungodly conduct tempt us – “I can’t wike it.”
• When we want to be filled with doubt instead of faith, “I can’t wike it.”
• When we are ready to lash out in person or on social media, “I can’t wike it.”
• When we are tempted to stay away from church services, “I can’t wike it.”
• When we start to neglect spending time with God, “I can’t wike it.”
• When we become complainers instead of praises, “I can’t wike it.”

Happy New Year to each reader, and my prayer is that we will choose to walk close to God, obeying His word.  Anything less than that, well, “I can’t wike it!”

The “three” wise men in scripture are often not given credit for anything but the gifts of worship they brought to Jesus. There is only one account of the Magi and that is in the gospel of Matthew. We are not told there were only three men, but we assume that because they offered three gifts.

How wise were these Magi?

First, they were wise to find their way to the Christ child and worship Him. They did not come to observe Jesus, stare at Jesus, or make judgments of what they thought of Jesus. These men set out on a journey to find the living Lord and bow before Him in worship. They, by faith, accepted that He was Jesus the Christ, the Son of God. With all the “wisdom” around us, the wisest thing one can ever do is to worship the Lord Jesus and offer our gifts to Him.

Second, these men were wise to listen to God and act based on what God communicated. God had provided a star so these fellows could find Jesus, and they took the time to follow the star. Later, God gave them a dream telling them to return home a different way. Herod intended to interrogate them, so he could find Jesus and kill him. The important thing is not how many sermons we hear or Bible studies we attend, but how much of that becomes action in our lives. We might know a lot, but that in itself is not wisdom. It is a wise man or woman who listens to God for direction and quickly puts it into action.

As I reflect on these wise men, I have purposed in my heart that I want to be a wise woman. The Bible tells of many wise people:

• There was Enoch and Noah who were wise enough to walk with God in their day while the world around them refused to live for God. Thus, they were both saved while others perished.
• There was Ruth who was wise enough to say to her Jewish mother-in-law, “…for where you go, I will go; and where you live, I will live; Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” – Ruth 1:16, while her sister-in-law turned around and went back to a sinful society. Thus, Ruth became an ancestor of Jesus.
• There was Andrew who was wise because he brought people to Jesus. “He that wins souls is wise.” Proverbs 11:30.
• There was David, who was wise enough to say and understand, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
• There was Martha, who was wise enough to invite Jesus into her home.
• There was Mary, who was wise enough to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word.
• There was Peter who was wise enough to step out in faith towards Jesus, even though the storm around him was raging.
• Then, there were the wise men, who came to worship the Lord Jesus and offer their gifts.

Am I some sort of wise guy? I hope so. I want heaven to record that Barbara Benton was wise. Why? She followed God, worshiped at His feet, and lived by His word. Are you a wise guy?

As a kid growing up, I was “po.” I have often said that we were not poor, since we could not even afford the “o and the r.”  We were plain old “po.” Additionally, we grew up in a really bad house, unlike so many with whom I attended school.  By societal terms, we were not much of anything.

I was chatting with one of my sisters and asked her if she could help me recall fun memories as a kid. She said, “Are you kidding? We were abused and poor. We have no happy memories.”   Though she said this in jest, there was more truth to the statement than either of us wanted to acknowledge.

For years, I considered myself as the bottom rung on the ladder.

There are many characters in the story of the birth of Jesus. I love the fact that God chose to involve shepherds in the story. Many scholars agree that in that time, shepherds were people of the lower class, a very low rung on the ladder.  Though not all scholars share that opinion, most agree that shepherds were certainly not among the elite. These “non-elite” shepherds were visited by angels, who told them of the birth of the Savior. After that experience, they took the initiative to say, “We must find Him. We must see Him. We must meet Him.”   They started the journey towards the Savior. After finding Him, they could not help themselves – they began to announce the Savior to everyone who would listen. It was life-changing when they met Jesus.

As we peer into our nativity scenes, let us not pass over the shepherds. God used the non-elite, the regular folks, to share in the story of the birth of Jesus. Let’s not lose sight that God chose those diminished by society, to be the ones who would herald the birth of Jesus Christ.  Let us rejoice in the shepherds. GOD visited and invited them to be a part of the story.

I am so incredibly thankful God included the shepherds. I cannot identify with kings in palaces, but I can identify with those who have felt less than, those who have felt hopeless that they could ever get off the bottom rung. A baby wrapped in swaddling clothes changed my perspective.

I once was a shepherd, but now I am a child of the most high God. “Nuff” said!

“When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” – Luke 2:15-20

Fifty-two years of wedded bliss!  Gaylon and I celebrated fifty-two years of marriage in June of this year.  Soon it will be fifty-two and a half years.  We have been blessed in so many ways, and I would marry him again if presented with the opportunity. 

One thing I can say, without hesitation, is that we did not get to this point by listening to our feelings.  Oh, like most couples, when we got married, we just knew it would be sweet every moment. That simply is not reality.  Feelings have certainly popped up in our marriage – some good, some not so good.  We had to learn not to let feelings control reality.

We live in an hour where feelings are the new reality, or so we are told.  If you feel something, then that is your reality.  I recently read a true story of a man who felt he was a dog, therefore he paid thousands to have a dog suit crafted with real fur.  The man slips into the dog suit, gets down on all fours and walks around his apartment, drinking and eating from dog bowls, and doing all things dog.  He “feels” more natural as a dog.

Feelings are the new reality.  If you feel like a boy, then that is your reality.  If you feel like a girl, then that is your reality. If you feel like a cat, then that is your reality.

As we walk with God, it is essential to be led by the Spirit and the Word, not by feelings.  Sometimes I can go to bed with a joyful song of praise on my lips and wake up feeling demon possessed!  Know what I mean?   Feelings ebb and flow in our lives and in our spiritual journeys.  As I have heard others say, “We can have feelings, but we cannot allow feelings to have us.” 

We are people of God, led by His Spirit, and changed by His Word.  We find ourselves living in a time where feelings could easily dictate our stance on what to believe. 

According to Second Corinthians five and verse seven, we are called to not live by our feelings but by faith. We live by faith in God, the unchanging, perfect, eternal, sovereign One.  This faith is founded on the infallible, life-giving, authoritative Word of God. Scripture tells us how to live and what to believe. This is what should govern and determine how we speak, think, and act—not our ever-changing, easily-influenced feelings. How we live must be guided by God’s unchanging Word.

In the end, it is God and His Word that should inform our feelings, not the other way around. When you are tempted to listen to your feelings or your feelings are overwhelming, stop and look to God’s Word. Compare what you are feeling to what He says.  Live by that, not your feelings!

“There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.” – Proverbs 14:12,15

Several years ago, I was part of a group of women who met each week.  The purpose of the group was accountability to eat healthy and exercise regularly.  As we met each week, we would share how the week had gone. 

Each week our leader “Paula” would ask how we did, and we would go around the room and share our week. After all of us had finished, Paula would speak about her week.  It was as if Paula had a script because each week, she would say the same thing.  “I ate a whole bag of potato chips at one sitting and did not exercise at all.  I ate a whole box of cookies. I did not walk even one block.”

We all tried to encourage Paula to not give in to temptation and to walk just one block during the week. Just start with one block.  Yet, each week Paula’s statement would be the same. 

Several weeks into our group, Paula added to her usual script.  Paula said, “I do not want to be deprived by not having treats in my house.  I want the Holy Spirit to keep me from eating more than four or five chips at a time.” 

During that discussion, I gently asked, “Is it possible that the Holy Spirit is telling you to keep temptations out of your house?” 

What we allow in our house can cause us to never be victorious.

As God’s people, we will always be faced with temptation.  Be very sure that you do not deliberately place yourself in a position to be tempted.  My strongest temptations are probably different from yours. To one, too much alcohol may be the temptation; to another, it may be impure thoughts and acts; to another, greed; to another, criticism and an unloving attitude.  The sooner we get it out of our house, the better we will become at walking in victory.

Ask yourself, “In what area am I tempted most to transgress against God?”  Prepare now to overcome the temptation that will arise again and again. Here are a few suggestions to help us not continually be upended by temptation.

1. Keep a vibrant spiritual life.  Spend a few minutes in the Word of God before starting the day.  Talk to God and ask for his strength to live victorious that dtay.  Sing songs to Him throughout the day.  Stay alive spiritually!
2. Cry out to God immediately! “Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” – Psalm 50:15
3. Flee! “But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” – 1 Timothy 6:11.  I have kiddingly said that to overcome temptation one needs a twelve-step program.  When you encounter something that God doesn’t want for your life, turn, and walk twelve steps the other way, and twelve more, and twelve more.  The Bible tells us to flee temptation.
4. Have at least two trusted accountability partners.  I have two people that I can tell when I am facing temptation.  Partners should be trustworthy.  “He who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” – Proverbs 11:13. Accountability partners need to be able to tell one another intimate details about their struggles with sin. Don’t be so foolish as to think, “It won’t happen to me.”  Prepare for it not to happen by talking to God and another strong believer. 
5. Develop a plan to make no provision for the flesh. “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” – Romans 13:14. Plan now how to overcome tempting situations that you might face. What is my plan to control my temper?  What is my plan to stay faithful to my marriage?  How will I overcome envy?

God called us to live higher than the earthly realm. There is a high cost for low living. You will never regret resisting sin. Know yourself and know your temptations. You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Remember the words of Christ to His disciples in the garden on the night of His betrayal: “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:41