I have walked with the Lord for more than fifty years now, and more than ever I am trying to live a life that honors God.  It’s not because I think God will not love me or will be mad at me.  It is because I love my Savior who died for me, and I want to honor Him.

For way too many of my years as a child of God, I lived a shallow Christian life.  Oh, I read my Bible, taught Sunday School, and even led worship.  What I did not do was grow in the image of Christ. 

I cannot tell you the precise year, but there came a point in my Christian walk, that I realized I did not look very much like Jesus.  Kneeling before God, I repented and set out to die to myself and to be resurrected to a life that was pleasing to God.  While I have not arrived, I am simply not the woman I used to be. 

Not too long ago, I really lost my temper with my husband, and it was over a ridiculously minor issue.  As my emotions began to rise, I knew each moment that I was not reacting in a godly manner.  (Thank God for Holy Spirit who says, “Don’t do that.”) An evening was ruined along with my peace.  I had not allowed the fruit of the Spirit to control the situation – the fruit of self-control and gentleness. 

The next day, I apologized to my husband, took ownership, and repented before the Lord.  He forgave me instantly, but I could not forgive myself.  How could I have been so ungodly!  The voice of the enemy reminded me hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute what a failure I was.  “If only people could see you now.”  “You should never stand up to teach anyone again.”  “God is really disappointed in you.”  Over and over and over I heard the accuser.  I could forgive others, but myself?  That was a whole different issue. 

Are you struggling with forgiving yourself?  We all have struggled with forgiving ourselves, but we will never have joy if past struggles still control our thinking.  I had to get over myself and look to Jesus, the great forgiver. With His help, I had to forgive me.  I walked around and began rehearsing what God said in His word.  I played music and sang along with it.   A breakthrough came, and I was able to forgive myself.

Many are stuck today because of something in their past.   Struggling under self-condemnation is not the way God wants us to live.  Stop replaying in your mind the old recording of your sin which stirs up guilt. Instead replay the truths of God’s Word. God says in Romans 8:1, 2, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”    God says in Ephesians 1:6 – “He has made us accepted in the beloved.”   Rehearse these promises when the recording in your mind starts playing.  As you take hold of His forgiveness and release your guilt, you will walk out of that jail of self-condemnation into the joy of abundant life.

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done that the devil keeps throwing up in your face (lying, cheating, immorality, debt, fear, unhealthy habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.); whatever it is, you need to know that Jesus died to pay the price.  He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. The wonderful thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives, but He also forgets.  You do not have to be a slave anymore to your past.  Be free!