I am blessed to married to a good and godly man for fifty-three years. His name is Gaylon, also known as my boyfriend. Gaylon is quite a negotiator. There was a time when a person could negotiate with the salesperson when buying a vehicle. Gaylon was a master negotiator. He wanted the car, but he wanted it on his terms. If the salespeople offered a certain amount, he would offer several thousand dollars below that. At times, I have looked at him like, “Are you crazy?” It is amazing how much he has saved on vehicles through the years, because he negotiated until he got what he wanted with the terms that pleased him.

There is a story in scripture of a young man who kind of wanted to negotiate with Jesus. He wanted eternal life, but he wanted it on his terms. We know him as the rich young ruler, and his story is found in Matthew 19:16-22.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit we are pretty selective about how we view Jesus. We often pick and choose the images of Jesus that appeal to us and make us feel good. Just prior to this story are verses where children are brought to Jesus, and He blesses them. One’s mind cannot help but picture a sweet scene where Jesus is laughing with the children and then pronouncing a blessing on them.

Right after that we see a side of Jesus as the uncompromising negotiator. He does not change the scripture or truth so He can add another follower. This Jesus can seem too radical, too firm to suit our tastes. Jesus wanted the truth to be unmistakable, and Jesus is known for powerful, unvarnished truth-telling.

The young man walked up to Jesus and asked Him, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus answered the young man by saying and naming several of the ten commandments. The man replied that he had kept all these commandments since he was a youth. He was proud of his good works.

The Gospel of Mark tells us something very important: ^“Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

It is important to know that Jesus loved the man. The conversation Jesus had for him was not snippy or controlling. Jesus spoke the truth in love, but He spoke the truth. He wanted the young man to know that following Jesus it is not about rule following and trying to earn one’s way to heaven. It is about a life that is totally surrendered to Jesus Christ. It is about following Jesus, not about following rules.

The rich young ruler was upset, sad, and walked away. “Jesus, I want to follow You, but only if I can do it on my terms.”  Dearly beloved, is there anything, any hindrance, that you are unwilling to give up to follow Jesus? You may not be wealthy, but if there is something that inteferes with total surrender to Jesus, laying it down is a vital part of following the Master. He must have your all. And he calls gently to you: “Come, follow me.”

There is much negotiating in the Church today. We want to make people feel good about the love of God, but not teach what following Christ means. There, I said it! The Bible tells us that the man walked away sad, rather than lay down the thing that Jesus said to lay down. Jesus did not run after the young man and say, “Wait a minute. What will it take to get you to follow me? I’m sure we can come up with a solution that works for you and me.”  Jesus stood firm in truth.

When we read this man’s story, it beckons us to ask ourselves: What part of my life am I unwilling to give up in order to follow Jesus? What do I love more than I love Him? Following Jesus costs us everything, but we gain far more than we ever give up.

The entirety of our lives must be submitted to His lordship. Do not turn away sad like the rich young ruler. Joyfully lay down anything that stops you from a life following Him. It is not a negotiation.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. ²⁵ If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” – Matthew 16:24-26 NLT