One of the joys of traveling to speak at churches and conferences is that I have the privilege of meeting a lot of people. A large percentage of these people are people I would never have met if I did not get on an airplane or travel a good distance to speak in another state or country.
While I was perusing my social media connections recently, I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people with whom I am connected simply because I answered the call of God to teach His word. Some of them have become prayer partners. Some have become lunch buddies when I am in their area, or they are driving through the Birmingham area.
I began to reminisce about the many people with whom I have built a strong spiritual sister connection. One woman who came to mind is no longer in my life. She lives several hundred miles from me. We stayed in contact for years. We had long telephone conversations. We prayed for each other’s family. Had lunch almost every time I was in her area. She attended my speaking events if I was within a reasonable driving distance. We truly became friends.
Let’s call my friend Portia. After several years of friendship, the relationship with my friend changed. I no longer heard from Portia. I would come through her area, and she would decline lunch invitations. I even spoke in her hometown, and she did not come. A mutual friend came up to me after the meeting and said, “I asked Portia if she was coming, and she said no.” No explanation, just no.
I continued to write notes to Portia. Check on her from time to time. I texted her little notes, and if I got a reply, it was usually one word like yes or no. Finally, I asked Portia if I had offended her in some way and she replied with one word, “No.”
I began to realize for some reason Portia walked away from me, and I had no clue as to why. No good-bye. Nothing.
There is no heartbreak quite like the heartbreak of losing someone to whom you have given time, trust, love, a listening ear, loyalty, and “poof” they are gone. The silence afterward can be deafening. You might yourself asking, “Why? Did I do something wrong? Why did she just walk away?” And the loss of a friendship is often accompanied by plenty of unwanted companions: insecurity, anger, isolation, bitterness, regret.
Have you ever had this experience with a friend, a family member, or even a spouse?
Jesus had this experience. He invited twelve men to walk with Him and be a part of His ministry. Judas ate with Jesus, traveled with Jesus, saw the miracles of Jesus, listened to the teaching of Jesus, and became a friend of Jesus. Yet, Judas made the decision to walk away. While some have speculated why Judas walked away, we are never given a specific reason.
Jesus had His Portias.
Finally, I came to a point with my Portia that I had to release the relationship to God. I had done all I could to keep the relationship, but the truth is, you cannot make someone be in relationship with you. It does not mean something is wrong with you, and it does not necessarily mean something is wrong with your Portia.
Please hear me. When it comes to our Portias, Jesus sees every tear, He feels every wound, He sees every seed you have sown. Jesus understands.
I lovingly suggest that if “Portia” has left you:
- Do not let bitterness take over.
- Do not let it spiritually paralyze you.
- Do not let that define you as a person.
- Release Portia to God.
- Declare to yourself and to God, “I will not be bitter. I will walk forward healed and whole.
- Ask the Holy Spirit to help you with the hurt and wounds of betrayal.
- Ask God to help you release what you do not understand.
Above all, remember that God never walks away, and even when a friend or someone we love walks away, it does not have to cripple our lives. God is still writing our redemptive story! Be open to the next chapter.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13