After a scarring childhood and painful upbringing, I gave my life to Jesus Christ and set out to attend a Christian college.  I certainly worked on obeying the “rules” of Christianity, and I was determined to be a strong Christian who walked with God.  I was saved and on my way to fulfilling my destiny.  I was definitely saved by the grace of God, busy for God, but not transformed by God!

Throughout life, God is transforming us to be increasingly like Jesus—His Spirit residing within helps us to combat sin and teaches us how to live.  An event one day revealed to me that I was saved but not transformed.  I came face-to-face with this truth through a friend.

Gaylon and I spent thirty-three years in pastoral ministry.  While serving at one of our churches, I became good friends  with “Alice” who was Gaylon’s secretary.  Alice was fun, encouraging, and very helpful.

Since I was very involved in the ministry of the church,  I often came into the office.  Alice never knew which Barbara would show up.  My mood swings were all too common, to others, but not to me.  All I saw was an “on-the-ball” woman doing the work of the Kingdom!  Oh, I did accomplish a lot of things, but I did not leave the sweet aroma of Christ in the process.  I was blind to it.

One day I was apparently “acting out” and Alice said, “Barbara, I am sorry for all you went through as a child or that others have hurt you, but do us all a favor and get over it.  You are destroying your ability to be effective.”

How dare she!  I left and went home.

I seethed for a good bit of the day.  “Doesn’t anyone appreciate all the hard work I do?  I can’t help the way I am sometimes, after all, look at all I have been through.”  In my mind, I had one of the greatest pity parties of all times, black balloons and all!

Later, I sat down to pray, and I reported Alice to God, telling Him all she had said to me.  Amidst all my feelings of self-pity, God broke through, and spoke into my soul.  I sensed Him saying, “She is right.”   No way, God!  Let me make sure You understand the story.  Let me repeat it for you.  Again, I sensed God say, “She is right.”

As I sat before the Lord that day, He began to show me that I desperately needed transformation.  I was saved but walking in the fruit of the flesh instead of the fruit of the Spirit.  I could no longer excuse myself when I was acting in a way that did not represent the goodness of God.

I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, but the fruit of the Spirit was not very evident in my life.  I decided that day, that I would yield to God, and allow the fruit of the Spirit to be developed in my life.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” – Galatians 5:22-23

The different characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit focus on how we respond to God, and how we respond to those around us.  I needed a lot of help with the latter.  The time for excuses was over.  It is a life-long journey to overcome self!  Though the process has seemed long at times, God has brought much-needed change to my life.  It is through submission to God, that God empowers me to be effective in the arena of life.

Today, there are so many excuses for misbehavior.  I can’t help my adultery, my temper outbursts, my spiritual laziness, my attitude, my ___________. Not true, child of God!  We have been made more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. I might have moods or trials, but they don’t have to dictate my actions. I want to honor God with my actions.  How about you?

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 2 Peter 1:6-8