Many years back, I developed a friendship with a woman. It blossomed into a wonderful friendship.  We stayed in contact regularly, talked in depth about spiritual matters, prayed for and with each other, had lunch when we could.  It was a relationship that I cherished. 

There came a point in time that my friend quit communicating with me.  Truthfully, she totally cut me off.  No more conversations about life.  No more discussions about God.  Occasionally, she would respond with a one-word reply like “yes” or “no” when I would ask about something. Then, there came a time when there was no response.  

I did the Biblical thing of asking her if there was a problem, or if I offended her in some way.  One-word answer, “no.”   Something had changed. Now, we have no relationship, and in all truthfulness, I do not know why.  “What did I do wrong?”  That question plagued me for a long time.

Have you ever felt left out? Excluded? Abandoned? Whether it’s a childhood best friend who cut you off, a romance that went awry, a parent who walked out, or a spouse who broke vows and walked away, most of us have experienced some form of abandonment. In that moment, it can feel like the world shifted on its axis.  It can be a very painful time.

Psalm twenty-two, written by David, certainly gushes with the pain of feeling forsaken. Jesus Christ was certainly not immune to similar feelings.  On the hardest night of his life, Jesus asked his three closest companions to stay close and pray with him, but they fell asleep. After those “prayer warriors” failed Jesus, Judas betrayed him, and all eleven followers abandoned him. One of them, Peter, even denied knowing him at all.

Abandoned. Rejected Denied.

In talking with many women, and I do mean many, over the years, I often hear them say they feel rejected, abandoned. Some have not been able to shake that feeling years after a divorce or after daddy left or after someone else left. There are few of us who have not felt that pain, nonetheless, rejection is a part of life.

I want to tread tenderly here, yet I also want to help people to move forward when feeling abandoned or rejected.  You do not have to downplay how bad pain in life can be. One surely does not have to pretend it was no big deal.  Be tender with yourself and accept the tenderness God has for you.

That is the tread tenderly part.  Now, for the moving forward part. 

There are no guarantees in life where the issues of abandonment or rejection are concerned. That statement is not meant to fill us with fear, but to bring into focus that people are humans.  They fail. God does not want us stuck forever in the pain of abandonment caused by the failure of others. Only God can give us that perfect security that we crave. Even the best of people sin and things happen in this life that are outside of our human control. Only God is perfect, only God is eternal, and only God controls everything by his power. Our hearts were made for God, and until they find their rest in him, they will find little rest at all.  SELAH.

Today is the day.  It is time to dethrone the harassing thoughts that tell us we are not enough, or we are not lovable.  Today is the day to change what thoughts sit on the throne of your life.   Today is the day to speak God’s Word over your body, soul, and spirit. 

Here are few to speak over yourself every day and even multiple times a day:

• “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  – Deuteronomy 31:6
• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7
• “I remain confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”- Psalm 27:13

Here are some wise words from Christian counselor Amanda Rowett, “Healing is a journey. You will suffer bumps and bruises along the way. Recovery is messy, but God is not offended by your mess. He wants to meet you in your darkest place. Take the pressure off yourself “to just get over it” because God delights in healing hearts.”

God cares.  If I was sitting with you and hearing your story of the pain of abandonment, I would give you such a tight hug.  God wants to empower you to walk forward from the pain of rejection. Are you stuck in the pain of abandonment?  Use your pain as an opportunity to encounter the King. Allow Him to radically fill the void in your heart with the Father’s love.