Defining moments in life can mold us, shape us and direct our lives.

Some defining moments can be traumatic, and others can be incredibly wonderful.   For example, after the first instance of abuse at the hands of my father, my life direction and thought process were profoundly impacted.   For years that event and subsequent events molded me to be angry, agitated and headed in the wrong direction.  These events bred a lack of belief that I could ever be healed, and make anything of my life.

I’ve also had defining moments that were wonderful and changed my life.  Giving my life to Jesus Christ, and going to Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida, was life-changing for me.  For the first time, I was in a stable, Christian environment, and over time I no longer lived in fear.    Marrying Gaylon Benton and birthing three children were defining moments in my life.  What kind of wife and mother did I want to be?

Did those moments define me?  Not really.  How I responded to those moments determined the course of my life.

Because of childhood abuse, miscarriage of my first baby, church hurt and the painful reality of losing a son, I have the right to be angry.  Mix that with other hurts and betrayals in life, and I have the right to live angry.  But, I did not want that to define my life, so instead I chose to give up the right to live an angry life.

At the age of seventeen, I made a choice to follow Jesus Christ, not just go to church, but follow Jesus Christ.   I chose to let that decision define who I would become over time.    I gave up the right to live angry, and allowed God to give me abundant life.  I do not regret that decision for one moment!  Not one!

Moses could have been defined by the murder he committed, but he was redefined by a burning bush experience.   Peter could have been defined by sinking into an angry sea, but he was redefined by the power of the Holy Spirit, and became a powerhouse for God.   Saul could have been defined by his involvement in the killing and persecution of many Christians.  Instead, he was redefined by an encounter with God, and renamed Paul.

What defines your life?  The negative moments?  Those moments do not have to control your destiny in life.    I am so grateful for a God who offers us defining moments, and once you affirmatively respond to a defining moment from God, you are never the same

“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?” –  Psalm 13:1,2

No newsflash is necessary for people to know how much I hate cold weather.  Much of the chatter from me during winter is about how cold it is, and the countdown to spring.   I dislike my present season, and my desire is for the next season to hurry its arrival. Yet, the truth is I can’t hurry the next season!   I must learn to live in the season I find myself. I can’t wish away my present season!

No matter how much we try to wish it away or long for the next season, we must learn to live victoriously in the present, until the new season arrives.

God has been reminding me that life has seasons, and that at some point, one season must give way to the next.  Think of how winter becomes spring.  It is not instantaneous. It’s still very cold and then “suddenly” there will be warm day, then back to cold, repeat and repeat.   In time the cold is gone and the warm is present every day. There has been a change of season.

As David wrote Psalm 13, he was on the run from King Saul and found himself in the hard place of losing hope. He was in dire need of encouragement and strength.  Words of anguish filled his heart and then came forth as words from his mouth, as he cried out to God, “How long?”

Are you living in the unbearable days of “How long?”  How long will I be unemployed? How long will my marriage be like this? How long will I have financial problems? How long must I continue to pray to become pregnant?  How long will my child be a prodigal?  How long will I live with this life-threatening diagnosis? How long will I be lonely? How long will my family continue to hurt me?  Our stay in “How long?” can seem “very long.”

You might be in a season that is difficult, the winter of life.  Let me be honest enough to tell you that I have never experienced the winter of life like I have for the past several years.    There has been one thing after another.  At times, I wondered if anything else could possibly happen!   In many ways, it has been the season of “How long, Lord?”    How thankful I am that the words of David can become my words to God.  I can bring my pain to Him.  It strengthens my faith to know that He will bring me through the season of “How long?”

Don’t give up, child of God.  He knows where you are and what the cry of your heart is!  A change of season will come!

In July of 2017 I missed the bottom stair of a set of stairs and went sailing through the air.  Since I had an audience of five, my pride was definitely hurt, but that was nothing compared to the physical injury.  I had a severely broken ankle,  tibia and big toe.  How I wanted to bounce right back up from that floor and continue my day!  That was not to be.

I can’t count how many times the doctor said, “This is a very severe injury.”   And, he was correct. The recuperation was slow, painful, and challenging.

Our grandson Andrew is four and quite a conversationalist.  Even though it has been six months since my fall, Andrew is rarely with me that we don’t have a conversation about my ankle.   He loves to talk about it.  Andrew lets me know that he can run, but I can’t run because I broke my leg, or he can climb a ladder, but I can’t because I broke my leg.  He does make me smile!

Recently while visiting us, Andrew was ready for lunch.  As I rose from my chair, I stood there a second to get my stiff ankle working.  I headed towards the kitchen, and Andrew said, “It’s hard for you to walk because you broke your leg.  You have to walk like a penguin.”

Penguin?  I really never gave much thought to how I looked when I walked.  I began to pay attention to my walk, and sure enough I could see that I waddled like a penguin.   After surgery, weeks of sitting in a chair with a propped-up leg, physical therapy, and learning to walk again, I was walking like a penguin!   I did not want to walk like a penguin!

From that day forward, I began paying very close attention to my walk.  I realized that I had let my wound, and the fear of more pain, cause me to walk like a penguin.  I began to concentrate on my steps.   I began to work at walking healed, like I walked before the wound and pain took up residence.

It has been almost a month since that conversation with Andrew, and I no longer walk like a penguin! Occasionally, if I’ve been on my foot too long, there is a little limp, but I don’t walk like a penguin!  Walking healed also revealed that it was more painful when I walked like a penguin.

Thank God Andrew spoke into my life!  Andrew caused me to realize that the wound was healed, and it was time to walk again!

It is so easy in life or church to be terribly wounded causing excruciating pain. Sometimes we might have to sit it out (withdraw) for a while, so healing can take place. God allows that for the purpose of healing, but it was never meant to be a permanent situation.   It’s very inviting to permanently allow wound and pain to be our master.  God’s plan is that healing be our master.

Thank God that Andrew Benton spoke truth to me!  Thank God that I responded!  It changed my walk.

Who do you allow to speak truth to you? We all need people who will speak truth, in love, to help us walk in healing and wholeness.   We all need loving accountability partners.  Accountability is not a negative term.   An accountability relationship is simply one in which two or more believers prompt each other to grow closer to the Lord.  This can be accomplished through questioning, challenging, admonishing, confessing, and encouraging. The purpose of this relationship is to help each other grow spiritually.

Child of God, be careful about allowing pain and wound to direct your walk.   Trust me when I tell you that penguin walking is more painful than learning to walk healed.

Thank God Andrew spoke. Thank God I listened.