As I sat in our first church service on that Sunday morning in 1972, I was trying to worship, but fear was interrupting my focus on God. Gaylon’s first pastorate was in Camden, South Carolina. It was a small congregation in a small building in a small city. At age twenty, I really had no clue what it meant to trust God. One of my greatest fears was how we would pay the bills.
Gaylon and I had worked all week moving into the church parsonage which sat right next door to the church building. We had been married less than a year and had accumulated little in that period of time. Our furniture style was early pastoral! By the time we moved into the house and got things straight, we were out of money. Our cupboards were bare, and I do mean B-A-R-E! We had nothing to eat in the house and were awaiting our first paycheck after that morning service. My mind was filled with “what are we going to do” thoughts. My situation definitely appeared bigger than my God.
That morning after the service, a couple invited us to go to a local restaurant for lunch. (I really wanted to do a Holy Spirit dance!) We gratefully accepted their invitation and we were taken to one of the nicest restaurants in town. We both had wonderful steak dinners, and afterward, we received our first very small check. VERY SMALL.
By the next weekend, our bank account was still barely breathing. I thought to myself, “Is this what ministry is? Go to church, smile, and starve!” As we entered the door of the church on our second Sunday, we were broke again and the cupboards were bare. I just wanted to get to the end of the service and get another small check. The same couple came up to us and invited us to lunch again. Once again, we were treated to a great lunch and received a paycheck.
The next weekend rolled around, and I perused the cupboards in my kitchen, finding only peanut butter and bread. But my faith arose! I knew that the same couple would surely take us to another fine restaurant. I could not wait to see where we would go. I was a child of God and only the best would come my way!
Following the service of our third Sunday in Camden, Henry and Trixie walked up to us again. I smiled big and was ready to walk through the doors of another fine restaurant. Henry gave Gaylon his check, said goodbye, turned and left. There I stood at the parsonage door instead of the restaurant door! “God, where are You?” I felt God impress on my heart, “I am right here. Will peanut butter and bread feed you? Will peanut butter and bread meet the need? I promised to meet your needs not your wants.” That Sunday’s lunch was peanut butter sandwiches.
I learned a valuable spiritual lesson while eating those peanut butter sandwiches. I learned that my “wanter” was bigger than my “needer.” Oh, I know those are incorrect vocabulary words, but those words express so well the lesson I learned! That day God Himself taught me His word. “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.” – Philippians 4:19-20.
At another pastorate, we faced difficult financial times in the church. There was not enough money to pay the bills of the church, much less meet our personal needs. I remember Gaylon coming home, and with tears in his eyes he told me what happened that day. He and his secretary spread the bills out on the desk and asked God to provide. Shortly after that prayer in the office, a member of the church stopped by the church. He and his family had been gone for a while, and he wanted to drop off their offering. It was enough to pay the bills that were due. There was a whole lot of shouting going on that day!
Presently, we are in tough times in our country. Inflation is affecting us all, and maybe you find yourself overridden with fear instead of faith. How will we get through this? What does the future hold? For the child of God, it is imperative to remember that He made a highway through an impassable Red Sea; He fed five thousand with a little boy’s lunch; He flew in Elijah’s meals on the wings of a raven; God made manna out of dew in the desert so His people could eat; He provided money from the mouth of a fish to pay a tax bill! The Bible is filled with stories of God’s miraculous provision.
God does meet the needs of His people. God does sustain us. Whether we have a peanut butter sandwich or a ribeye steak, He provides.
Is fear gripping you today? The Psalmist tells us what to do. “So, my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, Lord.” – Psalm 143:4-7
Stop and remember the goodness of God. Recall the times He has come to meet your needs (not your wants.) Jot those things down. Meditate on the works of God. Spread your hands out to God and ask Him to do it again. He is the way maker, miracle worker! That is who He is.