Gaylon and I set out on our trip to Baton Rouge to visit my son’s family. We are mostly around grandsons, but now we would be spending the next few days with giggly, energetic, jewelry-loving, makeup-loving girls. Quite different from the young guys we see more often.

We stopped in Meridian, Mississippi to refuel our car and get coffee to sip along the way. Glorious coffee! Can I get an amen!

While preparing my coffee, I began to hear loud shouting which soon elevated to ear-piercing levels. I turned to see what was happening. A customer stood at the counter telling the worker how to prepare the sandwich she was ordering. Let’s call the worker Bev.  Bev explained to the woman that in order to get certain items on the sandwich, there would be an upcharge. This made the customer livid.

Within a matter of seconds, the customer began to scream at Bev in an extremely loud voice. The people in the store stopped in their tracks and placed their attention on the episode happening at the sandwich counter. The customer got so loud and so angry that, like others, I wondered if it would become a physical altercation. The language being used by the customer was so vulgar, so demeaning, and so hurtful.

After a couple of minutes of rage, the customer stormed off, leaving Bev quite shaken. There were others waiting for food and no one said a word. Though I was not getting food myself, I stepped up to the counter and said to Bev, “I am so sorry she spoke to you that way. You did not deserve that. Thanks for trying to do your job.”  Bev, who was still shaken, looked at me and said, “Thank you.”  She then burst into tears. No one else said a word to Bev.

The customer wanted what she wanted, and did not care how she treated Bev or how uncomfortable she made the rest of the people. Kindness was nowhere to be found.

Life is full of situations where we have to interact with other people, and we are presented with a choice: how are we going to treat them? Even as believers, kindness may not be the response we care to give to someone, and at times, kindness might require a sacrifice of our own instinct to tell it like it is. I don’t know about you, but I can testify that words laced with grace and kindness are not always the first things that come to my mind! Sometimes, kindness requires a little extra energy from us, however kindness is worth whatever it costs.

Kindness is something for which our world is desperate. With growing fears and anxieties, everyone could use a kind word or gesture. As Christians, God calls us to be the light in the world. The scripture has many verses dealing with how we treat others.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32. “A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. – Proverbs 11:17.

Unfortunately, not everyone will treat us with the kindness and consideration for which we hope. In fact, dealing with difficult people is a part of life. Even though we cannot control how they act or treat us, we get to choose how we treat them.

Today, when that customer treats you rudely, be kind. (Bev never lost her cool. I was impressed!) When that store clerk is moving a little too slowly for you, be kind. When your spouse does something that gets on your last nerve, be kind. When someone aggravates you on a social media post, be kind.

I do not know what situation you will face in life today that makes you want to scream or talk down to someone. What I do know is that the Holy Spirit is willing to help us use grace-filled words instead of the first ones that pop into our brains.

May we all pre-decide that because of the lavish great kindness that Jesus has shown to us, we will abundantly pour out kindness to others. We can choose words that will not leave the bitter taste of regret in our mouths, and deep wounds in the hearts of others. Let’s be a rainbow to someone else’s cloud.

Prayer: Lord, I ask you to cultivate the fruit of kindness in my life. Teach me to see others through your eyes and to respond to their needs with compassion and grace. Let my words be uplifting and my actions reflect your love. Help me to be a light in a world that often feels cold and unkind. I want to point others to your goodness through the kindness I show! Please help my life bring honor to you as I strive to follow your example. Amen

Don’t we all love a happy ending in a story? Remember as children when we would read about the prince rescuing the damsel in distress? The story would always end, “…and they lived happily ever after.”  Hallmark movies are a great example. In those movies, generally the couple who were destined to be together find each other, and they live happily ever after.

Wouldn’t it be nice if life were always “happily ever after?” I have turned to my husband more than once and said, “We need our life to be a Hallmark movie, then everything would work out perfectly!”

Today marks thirteen years that we got a call that took our breath away, an almost paralyzing call. Our son Bryan had suddenly died. No warning. No time for a hug. No time to say goodbye. Just a call to say that Bryan was gone. “Can I have a different story, Lord? Can we rewrite the ending so that it says, and Bryan lived happily ever after?”

Here is the thing about “happily ever after” stories. They are fiction. We might see the couple get together, or someone gets the exact job they wanted. What we do not see is that happily ever after will include broken dreams, unexpected turns in the road, and even the death of loved ones.

The reality is we do not live happily ever after….in this life. Life has trials and heartaches along the way. Sometimes in our story, divorces happen, bankruptcy comes, natural disasters occur, friends walk away.

Thank God for the joys we get to experience on earth. It is normal that as people we want to be happy, and that we hope for happily ever after. We will experience times of happiness while living on earth. I am grateful that I have experienced a good marriage, having children and grandchildren, traveling the nation as a speaker, having many wonderful friends. Thank God for times of earthly happiness, but the older I get, the more I long for “happily ever after.”  That will come one day when I cross over into eternal life, leaving behind the broken life of earth.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we must always be mindful that we are simply pilgrims walking through this earth. This is not our final home. Hebrews 11:13 and First Peter 2:11 remind us that we are sojourners, people who live in a place temporarily.

The story of Barbara is still being written, but I am confident of the ending. The end of my story will be, “She lived happily ever after.” I will be spending eternity with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Because I trusted Jesus as my Savior, when I leave this temporary home on earth, my address will change to the streets of gold in heaven where I will live happily ever after!

I wish I could promise you that everything will work out like you desire. Of course, I cannot! What I can promise you is that if you know Jesus as your Savior and Lord, you will live happily ever after.

It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ.
One glimpse of His dear face, all sorrow will erase,
So, bravely run the race, till we see Christ!“

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them, He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” – Revelation 21:1-4

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites. – Judges 6:15-16

Let me begin with a joke about the man who went to his psychiatrist, and when the doctor asked him what had prompted his visit, the man said, “I am suffering from an inferiority complex.”  During the subsequent few visits, the psychiatrist put his new patient through a battery of tests and finally came the long-awaited diagnosis. 

The doctor called the man and asked him to return to the clinic for a consultation. Upon arrival at the clinic, the doctor seated the patient before him and said, “I have some interesting news for you.”  The patient eagerly waited and asked, “What is it?”  The doctor said, “It is not a complex. You are inferior.”

For way too many years of my life, I had an inferiority complex that was off the charts. My self-doubt thwarted most things I wanted to do or tried to do. My vision of life was very skewed. I genuinely thought I was inferior to other people.

At the ripe old age of seventy-three, I throw up my hands to the God who helped me overcome self-doubt and a deep-seeded inferiority complex that began when I started elementary school. Up until that point, I did not realize I was poor, a bit unclean, and in a highly dysfunctional home.

I literally can still picture my first day in the first grade. When my name was called and the teacher asked me to come to the front of the room, I proudly walked the aisle. I thought I was like everyone else. It did not take long to realize that I was not like most of the other kids. I did not dress as well, smell as good, or have kindergarten under my belt like so many others did. (In those days, kindergarten was only for those whose parents could afford to send them.)

Through elementary school, my classmates would talk about going to the dentist or going on vacation. I had nothing to say. I had never done either of those things. When class officers were chosen, I was never on the list. Safety patrol was a coveted position, and I so wanted to wear the sash adorned with a big silver badge. Nope, more popular kids were appointed to the position. I watched my classmates get invited to the prom, but never was I invited. In high school, I did get up the nerve to audition to be a class speaker for senior chapel. I was not chosen. A girl I knew was on the committee, and she said something like this to me, “We thought you did okay, but some thought you didn’t look the part.” Without a doubt, I was definitely second class.

Even into my adult years, I looked at other pastors’ wives, and I felt inferior. I could not play the piano like they could, well, actually I could not play at all. A church was interested in my husband being their pastor, but when they found out I could not play the piano, they were no longer interested. I was an inferior wife for a pastor. Gaylon surely married the wrong person.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like an afterthought? Have you ever felt like others have so much on the ball, but not you? If so, you are not alone!

I began this blog with verses telling the story of a man named Gideon who thought of himself as inferior to everyone, even members of his own family. When God first called Gideon, Gideon was fearful and felt totally inadequate. Yet, Gideon became a mighty warrior who rescued God’s people. What a great story to remind us that God understands our doubts and fears. He uses our weaknesses to lead us to depend on Him, and then we experience His strength.

There are quite a few stories in scripture of people who felt inadequate. Moses. Jeremiah. Esther. The woman with the issue of blood. Yet, God gave each of them the power to overcome a negative self-image, change their lives, and to be mightily used by Him.

I can be listed among those who felt unloved, not gifted, an afterthought.

BUT GOD!!!!!! That is my testimony, BUT GOD! At the ripe age of seventy-three, I can testify of God’s overcoming power. I am His child. I am gifted by Him. He has used me. He does love me.

Today, I feel a bit like the disciple named John. Read his gospel. He constantly referred to himself as “the one Jesus loved.”  That is a bit humorous to me that John would refer to himself that way. Some say he would not use his own name out of humility. Maybe, but not much humility in calling yourself the one Jesus loved! Instead, in his writing, John showed us that he was confident of the Savior’s love for him.

Often, our mind starts playing a reel about how we are not enough. All of us face that from time to time. May I tell you something life-changing? When the negative self-image begins to weigh on you, quickly counter it by saying your name followed by the words “the one Jesus loves.” Do that all through the day. It is life-changing.

Yep, like many of you, I have had quite a few rough spots in life, quite a bit of rejection. I can let those moments become my identity, but I refuse to do that. But, let me tell you who I am today, let me tell you my true identity. I am Barbara Benton, the one Jesus loves. Who are you?