We recently had two of our grandsons over for a morning.  I had been sick for a while, and we had not spent much time with them, so I had to see them!

Joseph is such a sweetheart, and is on the autism spectrum. Sometimes we have to work through little things, and I often clap for Joseph through every little accomplishment. We worked through something that morning, and I clapped and celebrated every time he did it. Eventually he was doing it on his own, but he would look and me, clap and say, “Yay!”

Joseph has learned to celebrate his little accomplishments.  Joseph has learned to celebrate himself.

Some of us can only see ourselves through a negative light.  We look at everything we have ever done wrong. We look at how much we weigh.  We look at how much farther we should be down the road. We look at the accomplishments of others.  After all that looking, all too often we can see no good in ourselves.

Stop and think for a moment.  What can you celebrate about you?    I know some are having a hard time coming up with something, and that ought not be!  Are you kind to others?  Are you an encourager?  Are you a good parent? Are you a prayer warrior? Have you grown in your relationship with God?

Today, I challenge you to celebrate YOU.  Celebrate what God has done in YOU and through YOU.   As a matter of fact, I challenge you to comment on this blog by writing something good about you.

Let the party begin!  Celebrate YOU!

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are Your works! And that my soul knows very well.” – Psalm 139:14

As we celebrated Palm Sunday weekend, my mind began pondering what the real day must have been like. There was Jesus riding on a donkey.  There was Jesus, being praised with shouts of, “Hosanna, hosanna!” filling the air. What a celebration day!   What an electric atmosphere it must have been!

Yet, just a few days later, some of the same people were ready to take back their “hosannas,” and shout, “Crucify!”

People can sing our praises one week, and be hoping for our destruction the next.    (Just keeping it real!)   How did Jesus react?  Jesus just continued traveling in the will of God. With all the shouts of praises, He did not get a “big” head.  He just rode into town to do the will of God.  He never forgot His purpose.

Later, when some of the same people were ready to kill Him, Jesus just continued yielding to the will of God.  At that point, He did not say, “Forget this! Forget people and forget the will of God!  I’m over this!”

Jesus could have easily walked according to the praises of people.  “Hosanna!” certainly sounds better to the ear than, “Crucify!”

Along with many others, I have gone down the road with people shouting, “Hosanna!  Oh, Barbara, we love you!  You are a mighty woman of God.”  Yet, the time came, when some of those same people cried, “Crucify her!  Get her out of here!  She is evil!”

I don’t make the above statement to evoke sympathy, but to say that one cannot walk the will of God expecting to please people.  Thank God for the times we can please both God and people!   Still, we all must face the fact that people can turn on you in a New York minute.  People are … well, they are people.

One of the saddest things I see is the number of people who have gotten off the donkey, and quit riding into the will of God, because someone is no longer shouting, “Hosanna!”

“Hosanna” did not lead how Jesus walked his life. God did.  People were not what he lived for, but people were who he died for.

Today, get back up on that donkey, and keep riding into the will of God.   In the end, Jesus had victory over people, death, hell and the grave.  In the end, Jesus was raised to sit at the right hand of the Father.   In the end, Jesus had the shouts of heaven.  Heaven had the last word and it was, “Hosanna!”

Times have changed through the years for this Southern Belle.  I live in a large neighborhood in a very quiet suburb of Birmingham, Alabama.  I love living between my two neighbors. On each side, we are blessed with sweet little widows, and both are African American.  I love to stand in my yard and chat with them.

One night as I was walking, I passed my neighbor’s home, and noticed her car engine was running while the car was in the garage, yet no one was in the car.  I assumed she was about to leave.  After walking three miles, I returned home, and noticed that the car was still running and no one was in it.  I knew that was not normal for my neighbor.  I went to my Vestee’s door to check on her.   It took me a while to get her to the door, but she was so glad I did.    The car had not been driven in a while, and she went out to start it so that the engine could run, but she forgot about the car.

We exchanged phone numbers that day, and I told her to also give my number to her daughter, in case they needed me to check on her.

I also love talking with the neighbor on the other side.  Betty is a talker!  We can go on for a very long time.  I had not seen Betty outside in a while, so I expressed concern to my husband.  “This is just not like Betty.  I know something is wrong, or she is gone away.”   Finally, I saw Betty one day, and I knew immediately she was fighting for her life.  Betty has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  We have talked, and she knows I am praying for her.  I have sent her a card, and I want to visit when she is up to it.

This might not seem like a big deal to most, but it is to me

As a child growing up in the south, I saw a lot of social unrest.  (I know it was in other areas as well, so let’s not get sidetracked.) My first time of experiencing integration was when I was in the seventh grade, and I was twelve years old.  As I look back now, I realize much of what happened, happened because we were raised in environments where we learned to judge people from the outside, not the inside.  I certainly don’t defend that position, but at that time, that’s what we knew.

Thank God, I learned better, and raised children who were taught better!

God’s word shows us how Jesus dealt with the issue of judging folks from the outside.   In fact, Jesus literally walked right into the issue when He dared to minister to the woman at the well.   Simply because she was a Samaritan, she would have been thought of as “less than” by the Jews of her day.   Samaritans were originally Jews, but later intermarried with Gentiles. The intermarriage created a mixed race, and the “pure” Jew hated them.

The animosity between the two groups was so great that the Jews would bypass Samaria as they traveled between Galilee and Judea. They took a longer route in order to avoid going through Samaria.  Jesus could not make everyone else do the right thing, but He could do the right thing.

My heart is saddened as I see race relations in this country taking a big step backwards.  I know it’s not a popular subject to discuss, but it needs to be discussed. There’s a lot of anger out there.  I find it sad how quickly we point the finger at each other, calling one another racists.   I refuse to be drawn into that!  Like Jesus, I can’t make anyone else do the right thing, but I can do the right thing.  I am going to treat people as people.  I don’t care if they are brown, black, white or mixed. I refuse to take a step backwards, even if others choose that path.

I love my two neighbors.  All of three of us are old enough to remember the “bad” days, and all three of us remember when being neighbors would have been impossible.  Now, we laugh together, cry together, pray for each other and lean on one another.  I am here for them.

I refuse to sign-up or be drafted as a soldier in the war on people. Others might, but I choose not to be in that army.

Christian love is a bridge, not a hedge.

Peter told them, “You know it is against our laws for a Jewish man to enter a Gentile home like this or to associate with you. But God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean.” –  Acts 10:28

I’m pretty sure God gave grandchildren to keep laughter in our lives.  It’s so much fun to watch them grow and discover the world. Andrew, who will be three in July, loves life!  He is on the move and curious about things around him.  Andrew also has a little streak of drama in him!

As a baby and a toddler, when Andrew would fall or hurt himself in some way, we were all quick to scoop him up.  Andrew could turn a slight bump, into a major incident.  He would cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry, and Andrew is a loud crier.

The little bumps of life became big bumps to Andrew.

Over time, Andrew’s parents stopped making a big deal over a little deal.  They began to say to Andrew, “You’re okay, you’re okay.”   Andrew began to realize, “I’m okay.  It’s a bump.  I’m okay!”

When Andrew visits with us now, he will bump something, or trip, and we might not even realize it. Then we hear Andrew confessing with his mouth, “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Andrew has grown and matured, and the bumps of life no longer stop him in his tracks.

All of us have bumps in life – lots of them!  Some of them are large and painful, but many are very small.  Don’t turn every small bump into a drama or a social media post.   If we are children of God, walking in step with Him, WE ARE OKAY.  We must become people who can simply look at the bumps of life, and say, “I’m okay.”  Bumps hurt, and are an inconvenience, but we walk with God.  “We are okay!”

Confess it today.  Calm yourself down.  Don’t make drama out of every little thing.   There are enough big things in life, so let’s not turn a little thing into a big thing.

Do you walk with God?  If so, say it aloud, “I’m okay!”

“Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

Most of us know the story of Jonah and the big fish.  Jonah was a man on the run from God, and wanted nothing to do with the will of God.  As he was on a ship trying to run away, a storm sent by God (that will upset someone’s theology), began to endanger all aboard the boat.  Jonah told them the answer was to throw him overboard.  The men did not want to throw him overboard, so they tried to row Jonah out of the storm.  The longer Jonah stayed on board and out of God’s will, the more tumultuous the storm became for EVERYONE on board.  Finally, the only answer was that Jonah had to be thrown overboard.

Let’s look at a few quick takeaways from Jonah:

1. Running from God opens the door for a tumultuous life. Life is difficult enough, but it is faulty thinking, when one thinks I can do it on my own.
2. When God is dealing with people who are running away from Him, stop trying to row them out of God’s dealings. Often the storm is from God, so an individual can see that bad choices can ruin a life.  Parents, we do this so often with our children!  We try to row them out of consequences.
3. There are times in life that we might need to throw a relationship overboard, so God can deal with the person, and calm can return to our lives. This is not a decision that should be made lightly, but there are times it is necessary.  As a matter of fact, the soldiers did it as a last resort.  They first threw all their cargo overboard.
4. God can speak to and restore those that are overboard. If you read the short book of Jonah, you will find that it only took a few days in the water and in the fish, for Jonah to realize this was not what he wanted for his life.  The Bible records that Jonah began to communicate with God, and God got Jonah back on course.

Take a good look at your life today.  Are you trying to outrun the will of God?   Are there people you are trying to row out of the dealings of God? Are there things that need to be thrown overboard so the waters of life can become calmer?   That might include relationships, or other things.

Perhaps this seems like a harsh word today. It’s really not.  It shows a God who is in hot pursuit of us.  He does not easily let us go our own way, and even when we do, He keeps His hand upon us.    God could have just let Jonah die, but God pursued Jonah.    The Bible actually says God “appointed” the fish to save His prophet.

Beloved, God is pursuing you today!   He never gives up on you.  There will be appointed things along the way saying, “Come on back.”

“I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice” (Jonah 2:2).

Two-and-a-half-year-old Andrew Benton loves life.  When this grandson of ours visits, he wants nonstop play and activity.

Recently Andrew had a large toy in each hand, and saw another that he wanted.  He could not pick up the new toy,  because he wasn’t willing to lay down what was already in his hands.  He fussed, tried to figure out how to do it, but to no avail.  I kept saying to Andrew, “Lay it down, so you can pick up what you desire.”  But, no, no, no!  Andrew never did pick up what was before him, because he was not willing to release the grip on what he thought was so precious.

Andrew was overloaded with his own stuff.

One of the greatest enemies of walking in what God has for us, is holding on to things that we need to lay down.  Here are some thoughts:

• Let’s lay down the failures of the past, things we cannot change, and walk in the new day God gives us. This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice in today!
• Let’s lay down the disappointment of Church folks, and become a vital part of a local church.  The oyster puts up with the irritant of sand, and winds up with a pearl.
• Let’s lay down the hurts that are suffocating us, and release them to God.
• Let’s lay down the negative self-images, and thank God for who He made us to be.
• Let’s lay down wishing we had a certain gift, and pick up the anointed gift God has given us.  There are miracles in every anointed gift that God bestows.
• Let’s lay down bad, harsh attitudes, and pick up joy.
• Let’s lay down Facebook and other media, and pick up the Word of God.
• Let’s lay down a wagging tongue, and pick up words that heal and offer hope.

I could go on and on.  We all fight these kinds of battles, and it’s easy to hold on to these things.  The power is in releasing stuff that keeps us from walking through the open door God has for us. As a great  Bill Gaither song says:

In the things familiar we find security
Resisting all the changes that days and years can bring
When God decides to lead you through an open door
Inviting you to walk in realms you’ve never known before

Beyond the open door is a new and fresh anointing
Hear the Spirit calling you to go
Walk on through the door for the Lord will go before you
Into a greater power you’ve never known before.

“Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress …” (Hebrews 12:1b NLT)

Autism matters. Children matter. Families matter.

My grandson Joseph will celebrate his fourth birthday soon.  Joseph and I share an amazing love affair. This boy has my heart, and I have his.  When we received the official diagnosis that Joseph was affected by autism disorder, I cried many tears.   Through much prayer, love and therapy, Joseph has made progress.

We personally have since learned of two pastoral families, friends of ours, who have received the same diagnosis.

We don’t talk about it a lot, but autism affects so many families.  I think I always cared about children with special needs, but when it touched my family, that caring went off the scale.  I love Joseph Benton beyond words.

Much can be done to help these children if therapy is started early.  Often insurance won’t cover all the child needs to improve their lives, and in some cases covers nothing.  While some free therapies are available, they often need more.

I think even more, I have realized that, as the Church, we must be caring and prayerful for these families.

For instance, does your church have any kind of ministry in place for families affected by autism?  Does your church offer any kind of ministry to families with children who have special needs?  The Church must minister to these families.

I’m thankful that our church is trying.  Our church offers a group for moms to get together to encourage, support and pray for each other.  I am personally working to put together a group, inviting moms into my home to minister to them.  Our local church also has a ministry, The Haven, for all children with disabilities.  In essence, The Haven allows a family to attend a church service.  While the parents are in the regular service, someone sits one-on-one in the nursery or children’s church to help the child.  For a season, the same person is usually with the same child, so that familiarity is built.  The Haven throws a big Christmas party for these families.  I know of a small church in the Midwest that raised funds to set up a sensory room, utilized workers trained in this area, and used it as outreach. They immediately got new families – families who had never been able to regularly attend a church service.

The Church has to step up.  Don’t close your eyes to this need.  Ask other churches for ideas.  Search Pinterest for ministry for children with special needs.  Call that mom and ask her how she is today.   Pray with her.  Men, reach out to a man who is trying to be a dad to a special child.

Think about it.  Pray about it. Care about it.  But, please don’t ignore it.  Why?  Because autism matters, children with special needs matter and families matter.

“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2 

There are few weeks that go by without someone confessing to me how they have royally messed up, how they have failed.  Many times these people feel condemned.   Fear grips them that the Church and God will mark them off the list, calling them disqualified.

Having a failure doesn’t make YOU a failure!

The book of James has a powerful scripture: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  – James 5:16

James understood the need for the Church (not the building) to be a place where people who failed could come, confess, be prayed for and be healed.   Why don’t we see very much of that today?    I believe it’s because we are not always authentic in the Church.  It’s easy to yell at the top of our lungs, or post on Facebook how evil people are when they commit sexual sin, or when our country openly embraces things contrary to scripture.  Open computer – get fingers ready to tell the whole world how they are going to hell.

Don’t stop reading out of anger … keep reading.

Over these forty-seven years I have walked with God, I have failed many times:

• During one period in my life, I stopped preaching/teaching several months because I was offended by folks in church.  That is failure.
• During one period in my life, while married to my wonderful, godly husband, I pulled away from God, stopped listening to any worship music, and only listened to country music.  The point is not the country music; the point is why I was listening.  I was letting my heart walk away from God, while my body sat on a pew.   On the outside, I was the “holy” wife of a wonderful pastor.   On the inside I was playing games with the devil.  That is failure.
• I have gone through periods when I was jealous of other ministries, and I let it overtake my thought life to the point of disliking the success of others.  That is failure.
• I have carried grudges and unforgiveness for long periods.  That is failure.
• As a leader, I have been infuriated with people who did not do things the way I wanted them done, and they got a taste of my venom.  I had to control everything! That is failure.
• While rolling my eyes at the “terrible” sins of  others, I allowed myself to binge eat, better known as gluttony in the Bible. That is failure.

So, what do you think of Barbara Benton now?  (Rhetorical, so please don’t answer.)

Thank God I am not the woman above any more.  I have learned to receive the grace of God that says to me, “Having a failure doesn’t make me a failure.”   Because of that grace, I am simply not that woman above.  She has been changed by His grace.

One of the things that has helped me most in overcoming the mindset of failure, is that I found trusted people with whom I could talk.  I could talk openly and honestly, without fear of condemnation.  I could talk with people who weren’t ready to throw me out of the Body of Christ or out of ministry; people who genuinely prayed with me, kept in touch with me, and wanted to see me totally healed.  Thank God for healing!  Thank God for the power to overcome!

What about you?  Can God trust with the failures of other?  Can we be authentic enough to say, I’ve not walked this thing perfectly?

We desperately need authentic Christianity – the kind that says, “I have failed, but God has forgiven me and given me the strength to rise up and continue walking.”

This is one of the most vulnerable blogs I have ever written.  I, like others, still wrestle with the fear of what will others think or say about me. What impact will this have on my ministry?   Will people no longer invite me to conferences and churches?

It is essential that we have welcoming arms for those who have failed.  Oh I know, some will read this and think I’m just opening the doors to all kinds of people.  Well, yes I am.  That is what the Church is called to do.  We are called to be a place of forgiveness, restoration, love, exhortation and patience.

I am so thankful that God said to me, “Having a failure, doesn’t make YOU a failure.”

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin!

In 1979 a large passenger jet with 257 people on board left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight to Antarctica and back.

Unknown to the pilots, someone had modified the flight coordinates by a mere two degrees.  This error placed the aircraft 28 miles to the east of where the pilots assumed they were.

As they approached Antarctica, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better view of the landscape. Although both were experienced pilots, neither were aware that incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises to a height of more than 12,000 feet.

As the pilots continued the course, the snow and ice-covered volcano blended with the white of the clouds, making it appear as though they were flying over flat ground. By the time the instruments sounded the warning that the ground was rising fast toward them, it was too late. The airplane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board.

It was a terrible tragedy brought on by a minor error—a matter of only two degrees.

Over the years I have been blessed with the opportunity to mentor and counsel many people.  As I look at God’s people, including myself, I have learned that much of the failure we are seeing is a result of “two-degree” error living.

Countries, relationships, businesses and holy living don’t fail overnight.  It’s usually “two-degree” error living.   What are you accepting in your life that used to be unacceptable?

It is my opinion that the USA finds herself where she is today, because those at the helm have led us away two-degrees at a time.  As I observe the differences in our world between when I was thirty and when I turned sixty, it is shocking.  Very little, if any of it, happened over night.

The same can be said of Christian living.

What is your tolerance for being off course?  The longer one stays off course, the further one will be away from the intended target, which invites unwanted pain and consequences. We don’t run away from our values – we drift away two-degrees at a time, and find ourselves in places we never meant to be.

Straying off course does not have to result in a terrible crash in life. Course corrections can be made in-flight.  Here’s the Good News – no matter how terribly off course you are, no matter how far you have strayed, the way back is clear.  Make a course correction and head back towards God, towards His word. He awaits you with open arms.

 “I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread” – Job 23:12

Defining moments in life can mold us, shape us and direct our lives.

Some defining moments can be traumatic, and others can be incredibly wonderful.   For example, after the first instance of abuse at the hands of my father, my life direction and thought process were profoundly impacted.   For years that event and subsequent events molded me to be angry, agitated and headed in the wrong direction.  These events bred a lack of belief that I could ever be healed, and make anything of my life.

I’ve also had defining moments that were wonderful and changed my life.  Giving my life to Jesus Christ, and going to Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida, was life-changing for me.  For the first time, I was in a stable, Christian environment, and over time I no longer lived in fear.    Marrying Gaylon Benton and birthing three children were defining moments in my life.  What kind of wife and mother did I want to be?

Did those moments define me?  Not really.  How I responded to those moments determined the course of my life.

Because of childhood abuse, miscarriage of my first baby, church hurt and the painful reality of losing a son, I have the right to be angry.  Mix that with other hurts and betrayals in life, and I have the right to live angry.  But, I did not want that to define my life, so instead I chose to give up the right to live an angry life.

At the age of seventeen, I made a choice to follow Jesus Christ, not just go to church, but follow Jesus Christ.   I chose to let that decision define who I would become over time.    I gave up the right to live angry, and allowed God to give me abundant life.  I do not regret that decision for one moment!  Not one!

Moses could have been defined by the murder he committed, but he was redefined by a burning bush experience.   Peter could have been defined by sinking into an angry sea, but he was redefined by the power of the Holy Spirit, and became a powerhouse for God.   Saul could have been defined by his involvement in the killing and persecution of many Christians.  Instead, he was redefined by an encounter with God, and renamed Paul.

What defines your life?  The negative moments?  Those moments do not have to control your destiny in life.    I am so grateful for a God who offers us defining moments, and once you affirmatively respond to a defining moment from God, you are never the same