A while back, I was going through a bit of a rough patch emotionally.  Even when we know Jesus Christ, even when we are leaders, we are humans. Stuff happens and hearts hurt. I’m not one to publicize or talk much about my own hurting heart.

One day during my period of heart heaviness, I walked to the mailbox to get the mail.  As I sat down to sort through the mail, I noticed a card.  There was no special occasion, so it caught my attention.  The name of the sender was in the left hand corner, and it was a dear friend that I rarely see.

I opened the envelope and there was a card with a very kind, sweet message. Also enclosed in the envelope was a gift card for Panera Bread.  This woman is aware of my love for Panera!   Her words basically said, I was just thinking of you and wanted to send this to bless you.   It brought a smile to my face and to my heart.

It was just a little thing, but little things matter.

As I write this blog post today, I am sitting in Panera on a chilly day, sipping a wonderful cup of coffee compliments of my friend.  As a matter of fact, this is probably the tenth cup of coffee I have enjoyed compliments of my friend.    I have prepared many of my small group teachings sitting in Panera, while sipping  coffee.  The gift card has been a gift that keeps on giving, and EVERY time I use it, I think of my friend and smile.  I’ve even texted her to say, I’m enjoying a cup of coffee on you.

Sometimes we think we cannot make a difference in people’s lives.  We aren’t rich enough, or crafty enough, or creative enough, or spiritual enough …. but, all it takes sometimes is a text, a card, an email, a call or some small thing.   Those small things can bring a smile, offer encouragement, and raise a heart that is down.

It was just a little thing she did…but little things matter.  

“So encourage each other and build each other up…” – 1 Thessalonians  5:11

As I opened the package left by my door, I was so excited.  For my birthday, my son and his family sent me new athletic shoes – new cool-looking blue ones, trimmed in bright green.   I pulled them out of the box, and was shocked how big they looked.  Was my foot really that big?

I put the shoes on and they fit perfectly and looked great.  Still, I could not believe my foot was that big. I am a fairly tall woman, but normally I wear a six-and-a-half shoe, and occasionally I need a seven.  But, as I looked at the shoes they looked huge, like something Goliath might wear.

As I sat there a few minutes, looking at the shoes, I was about ready to send them back.   I stared at the shoes; I focused on the enormity of the shoes.  As I sat down to think about the largeness of the shoes, I  took off my reading glasses for a few minutes.  When I looked at the shoes again, they looked much smaller.  It was then I realized, that the shoes looked huge because I had on thick reading glasses.  The size of the shoe depended on the lens through which I viewed it.

Thus, it is with life!

Recently I found myself overwhelmed at all the problems in our world, and in the lives of people.  I am praying for/with people who have serious things going on in life – things that look so large, they scare me.  I can easily step into the realm of looking at them through the lens of my own human eyes and understanding.  They look so big – I wish I could just send them back!

Then, I remember that I must look through the lens of the incredible God with whom I walk, and to whom I pray. One of the hardest lessons we learn is that God is FAR bigger than any problem or circumstance.

In the story of Abraham in scripture, there is a narrative of Abraham trudging up the mountain of sacrifice.  As he got the altar and the wood ready, Isaac was puzzled, and asked, “Father, where is the sacrifice?” Abraham responded, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.”  Abraham walked up the side of the mountain, with faith that God would provide.  As Abraham and his son walked up one side of the mountain of life, God was already walking up the other side to provide what was needed.

The truth is that we do face trials in our lives that are bigger than we are. God is okay for us to acknowledge that WE ARE NOT bigger than some of the things we face.  He also wants us to know that HE IS bigger than all of those things.

What hard mountain are you walking up today?  Put on the lens of faith – the lens that sees that God is already walking up the other side of the mountain, and He will provide what is needed.  God is bigger than your mountain.

“Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.” – Psalm 147:5

As a wife to my husband, and mother of three sons, I am glad I know a few things about football.   My husband tells me often how blessed he is to have a wife who will watch the games with him, and can actually discuss what is going on!  Roll Tide and Go Gamecocks!

Occasionally I read fan boards after a game.  It’s interesting to see how fans react when their team plays well, or not so well. Some of it is downright mean.  But, there is one thing that always makes me shake my head: when people major on something that doesn’t matter, or makes no difference in the game.

There is a well-known sportscaster who often mispronounces names, or even assigns the wrong name to a player. It floors me that there will be twenty-five comments about the wrong name.  There are cries that he should be fired over THE WRONG NAME!  That has nothing to do with the outcome of the game.   It’s a side issue that gets one away from the main issue – the game.

How easy in Christianity it is to major on things that don’t matter – things that have no bearing on the game.   Just so we can get an idea of what is meant by side issues that are not game changers, I will list a few.   The list is just to stimulate your thinking.

1. A coffee shop has a solid red cup, but it doesn’t say Merry Christmas on it. (Who cares!)
2. The music is too loud. (Wear earplugs.  I have worn them on occasion.)
3. I’m leaving the church because they are changing the name. (Yep! I’ve actually seen this more than once.)
4. While preaching, the minister says one thing you disagree with, and after that there is nothing good in the message, the church or the minister.
5. While listing names of those who helped with a project,  your name was left off.
6. The pastor would not change what you thought should be changed.

None of these things will rescue one soul from hell.  None of these things will make an eternal difference.  They are side issues from the main issue – Jesus Christ.

Beloved, it’s time to get back to keeping the main thing the main thing.  The most important thing that people need is Jesus –  knowing Him, trusting Him, following Him. It is so easy to get tripped up on discussions and quarrels that aren’t central to the faith.

By no means are we to ignore everything, or turn a blind eye to everything, but we must check ourselves to be sure we keep the focus on the main point: ^“Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. And what is the main thing? The main thing is knowing God and making Him known.

My husband Gaylon, who is affectionately known as my boyfriend, is very helpful.   He often rescues me from messes I have created. Gaylon has rescued me a few hundred times from tangled earphones.

It seems I am always in a hurry, so when leaving the gym, I cram my earphones into the side pocket of my purse.  I don’t take the one minute necessary to put them away neatly.  The next time I go to the gym, I will reach into the purse to get my earphones.   Inevitably, they are a tangled mess, and it takes a while to get them untangled.   It slows me down, sidetracks me and frustrates me.  Yet, the whole mess could have been avoided by making a right choice.

Gaylon is always so kind to untangle them for me, but he says, “Why don’t you take time to do it right, and then you won’t always have a tangled mess?”  I know he loves me, but I can sense his frustration that I continue intentionally creating tangled messes, and want him to untangle them.

Can we have a “for real” conversation here?

God has given us the power to have victory over creating tangled messes.  Is life messy sometimes, and it’s no fault of ours?  Of course!  As I often say, life shows up for all of us! There are also many messes that we create by bad choices.

I totally believe God has a will for my life and for your life.  He has a destiny for us, but we don’t automatically receive destiny.  Walking in God’s will is a choice.  Making choices that one knows are not Godly choices, can get us out of God’s will, and set into motion things He never intended.

Example:  If I need or want more money, and I decide to steal from my company, that is an unwise choice.  That can set in motion getting caught, getting fired, losing everything and possibly spending time in prison.  None of those things are God’s will, and instead interrupt God’s will, setting in motion things He never intended.

Can God redeem the wrong choices?  Yes!  Thank God for that!  But, it does not mean all repercussions will be gone.

In life, let’s take the time to put away the earphones, instead of choosing to make a mess.

Choose Godly.  Choose wisely.

“My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.”  – Proverbs 3:1,2

Panera Bread is one of my favorite places to frequent. I often go there to study for my small group, or upcoming conferences. There is such an anointing on their coffee! As a matter of fact, that is where I am sitting right now.

As I stood in line, there was a young dad in front of me. He was holding a little girl who was probably two years old, and beside him stood his son who was about four years old. The dad is standing there trying to order for his children. The entire time that he is ordering, his son is pulling on his dad’s pants and saying, “Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad.” Finally, in the midst of placing his order, the man stops long enough to say to his child, “Be patient. I’m ordering something for you.”

Dad turned around and continued to order things on behalf of his son. The young lad persisted in pulling on Dad’s pants, “Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad, did you hear me?” Dad looked down and said to the son, “Be patient. I heard you.”

My mind immediately began to think about how it is with God and His children.

So often, I want God’s immediate answer on a matter. I call His Name over, and over, and over, as if to say, “Dad, did you hear me?” The whole time I think, “God must not have heard me!”

Yet, God is working on something for me. He is ordering what His child needs.

I can be guilty of wanting a sitcom God, one who works it out in thirty minutes. Yet, I must remember that He rarely writes sitcoms, and most often He writes a novel. He is putting the whole story together chapter by chapter, event by event. He is setting the scene for His intervention, and He is developing every character needed for the story.

Child of God, hear this: Be patient! God hears you! God is ordering just what you need! He is writing “His”story, which will be your “His/story” of His amazing grace!

Joseph waited 13 years. Abraham waited 25 years. Moses waited 40 years. Jesus waited 30 years. If God is making you wait, you’re in good company.

“…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” – Hebrews 12:1b-2a

A bit stunned I was to come across words written by someone that Gaylon and I had not seen in at least thirty-five years. I wish I had never seen those words, and I am sure the writer never thought I would see them. The words were written just a month ago, and were a bashing of my husband when he was the person’s pastor thirty-five years ago.  That goes with the territory, and I get that. No pastor/leader will be loved or liked by everyone. I totally get that.

My first thoughts were, “How dare he write this! The nerve of him calling out my husband by name! Who does he think he is saying these things which are not even true?  Thirty-five years later, dude? Give it a rest!” In my mind, my claws began to come out, and I was ready to give him a piece of my mind. The more I read, and re-read, the madder I became! I was so very close to writing him my opinion. After all, MY opinion is so important and needed!

Thank God I did nothing at the moment, and pondered it throughout the day. I did not call my best friend and vent. I did not discuss it with others. I did not try to pull others to my side. I did not try to get them to dislike the person with me. (At that moment I had enough dislike for everyone!) My flesh wanted to do all of these.

As evening time came, God had softened my heart, and God also spoke to me about not letting this become a seed in my heart, that would produce a crop of bitterness.
Hebrews 12:15 states, “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”  Allowing bitterness to take root is a dangerous thing, so dangerous that God tells us that it will cause us trouble in life, and corrupt others in the process.

It’s easy to forget that we have choices when we’re offended. We can hold on to hurt, continue to rehearse hurt, or we can surrender our hurt.

Life is hard enough without the baggage of bitterness. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go.”

My brother turned seventy today. It’s hard to believe that I now have four siblings who are in their seventies. All eight of us are still alive, and we have all lived longer than our mother.

It just doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed since we lived on 14 Milton Road. We were so utterly poor, and we made our own games, and crazy they were. Eight kids who played hide and seek, and would hide the smallest kids in the oven! Eight kids who would swim in a ditch filled with filthy water after a rain storm, water containing poison that had been sprayed to kill mosquitoes. Eight kids who jimmied a board out of the floor of the bedroom where all eight of us slept. We then would sneak through that hole and go outside to play in the dark. It’s a wonder any of us turned twenty, much less seventy!

Sometimes, I think we forget how blessed we are for each day that God allows us to wake up, and breathe the oxygen He created. It is not an accident or happenstance, that you  are alive on the earth today. God could have called us home long ago.
I will be sixty-four years old next week, and I thank God for every year He has given me. I’ve always known life was a gift from God, and after losing our son Bryan who was thirty-six, I never take life for granted anymore. It is truly a gift from God, and God has us here for a reason.

I especially want to speak to the women for a moment. Don’t buy into the ridiculous cultural mindset that the older you get, the less important you are in society. I mean if you have wrinkles, gray hair and fallen body parts, you just aren’t relative. Society might make you feel that way, but God does not! God has your days numbered, and has you here on purpose, for purpose. If ever we have needed women who could pass on common sense and biblical wisdom, it’s today!

Yep, I am about to be the ancient age of sixty-four, but I plan to keep doing things that will count for eternity. I plan to invest in the Kingdom, the lives of others, and especially the lives of my grandchildren. I want to pass down some things, but more than anything I want to pass down things that matter most.

I “ain’t” getting older, I’m getting bolder!

Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. – Proverbs 16:31; The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright. – Psalm 92:12-15

As “Lillian” approached me after a prayer meeting, I was excited by her question.  “I am an officer in an organization, and we were wondering if we could schedule you to speak for us next month.”  I was so ecstatic.  It was early in my days of travel ministry and each invitation thrilled my soul!  Then Lillian followed her question with explanation.  She said that they were disappointed that the speaker they wanted could not come and now they were desperate, and they thought of me.  I was their “desperation” choice!  I was their “second” choice!

After the conversation, I asked Lillian to give me that day to pray about it, and I would get back with her.  The truth is I wanted the day to seethe about being their desperation choice.  How dare they!  I wanted the day to beautifully craft my words to tell them, “NO!”   I was about to let my pride make my decision.  Ego had stepped up to be my walking partner that day.

As I complained to God, I mean prayed to God, He spoke these words to me, “Have you ever thought that you were my first choice to be there?  Have you given thought that I orchestrated it for you to be the speaker rather than their “first” choice?”  I was about to let pride make my decision.  Ego was quickly becoming my best friend.

How often does God have a plan, and we miss it, because we let pride and ego stand in the way?    Maybe it’s a speaking engagement.  Maybe it’s marriage enrichment.  Maybe it’s a relationship thing.  Maybe it’s … you fill in the blank.

I did speak at the event. God did move at the event.  Thank God that I did not let pride make the decision.  Ego and I parted ways that day.

Pride and ego are not my friends, and they are not your friends either!

“O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”  Micah 6:8

I am so in love with all of my grandchildren. The joy of seeing their faces light up when Gaylon and I walk into the room, is an indescribable feeling.

My three-year-old grandson Joseph is one of my heroes. Joseph has developmental delays that are fairly significant. To help him move forward in development, Joseph has several therapies each week.

When Joseph first started therapy eighteen months ago, I would often accompany his mother to the sessions. It was hard for him and hard for us. He would begin crying when we drove up to the building. He would look at us as if to say, “Why are you making me do this? Please rescue me.” At times I would get in my car and cry after seeing Joseph in his hard place.

Fast forward eighteen months. Joseph has made significant progress – progress that would never have been made without pushing through the hard places. Joseph is like a different little boy these days. I love the bright smile on his face. I love the new things he has learned. I love the warrior that Joseph has become.

How often we scream and kick in the hard places of life! Oh, I understand! Been there, done that. Did I say been there, done that? “God, rescue me from this place. I don’t want to go through this!” Yet, our Father leaves us in a place where we must learn to press through to victory.

How often we want to rescue people, especially our children. It is difficult to watch our children in painful places. Yet, there are times they need to press through, not be delivered from – but press through! That is also true of close friends and other family members. We are often rescuers by nature, and while there is a good side of that, we need to let people develop growth by learning to press through the hard places.

I have watched Joseph press through hard places, and it has been life-changing for him.

At three years old, Joseph is one of my heroes. I want to be a “presser-througher” like he is.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. “ – Psalm 32:8

Today as I cleaned the glass that covered the top of my desk, the tears began to flow. I have a very nice desk in a sitting area of my room, and it’s the place I go to do my serious study. To protect the wood from scratches, I had a piece of glass cut to fit the top of the desk.

The glass was actually a gift from Bryan and Sarah and was given to me the last time I saw him. We had just found out that the baby Sarah was carrying was a boy. Afterward we shared dinner and celebrated a delayed Christmas together. Bryan and Sarah gave me the money to get the large piece of glass, and it was on my desk the next week.

One week after the glass made its way to my desk, my son entered into his heavenly reward.

Grief and loss are hard to explain at times. When it comes to grieving the death of a loved one, there are no definite patterns, no “normal” reactions, no formulas to follow. Each person sets their own pace, and experiences ups and downs. Even as believers, we have mixture. There is the marvelous joy of knowing that we can be reunited with loved ones who have gone to be with our Lord.  Yet, there is the depth of pain and sorrow that we can’t physically touch our loved one, or talk with them. You wish you could say, “I love you!” just one more time.

Bryan has been gone for three and a half years, and I have good news! I offer hope to those facing loss. As I continue walking with God and LIVING life, grief does not cripple me. If you are in the grief process, it’s okay to experience sorrow – tearful sorrow, but the death of a loved one does not have to cripple one for life.

Here are some things that have been key for me:

• I run to God when I feel overwhelmed with sorrow.
• I continue living. Live, live, live!
• I allow myself to laugh. Laughter is good for my soul. I love watching funny videos. When I need a good laugh, I go to Youtube and laugh for fifteen minutes.
• I spend time with the ones I love, especially those grandchildren!
• I celebrate eternity – I will be reunited with my loved ones.

I miss Bryan terribly.  I wish I could see him playing with his son and hear his laughter again. I will see those things one day, just not now. Death is not the final word in the life of the believer. Death is not the end of the story.  Now that I can live with!

“For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.” – 1Thessalonians 4:16-18