Have you ever noticed how hard it is for political leaders to admit they were wrong? It seems as if they feel like they can never budge from their original position, and if they do, it is quite subtle. “I misspoke.” “I used poor judgment.”  There seems to be a need to be seen as right.

When Gaylon and I first entered the ministry together more than fifty years ago, I was ill-prepared. I feel sorry for the congregants who were around me! Thank God they were saved enough not to spank my young behind! I was clueless about what I was doing. Thank God there is hope after immaturity!

As a young parent, I made so many mistakes. I had been raised in a home with a screaming, demanding, controlling father. It truly was a case if he said to jump, your only response was, “How high?” I look back at my young years of parenting…thank God there is hope after immaturity!

As a wife, oh boy … this one is awful! Let’s just say, thank God there is hope after immaturity!

What brought about change in these areas? It was when I began to cultivate a teachable spirit. Because I was gifted for ministry, I thought that was equal to maturity. I did not need anyone to teach me how to be in the ministry. We were successful! I did not need anyone to teach me about being a wife and a parent. My family was in a much better environment than I had in my childhood.

I will not get into the specifics, but there came a point that one of my kids said something to their father about me. I realized that I had a lot to learn. There came a point when my husband’s secretary said something corrective to me, and I realized that I was stubborn and had a lot to learn. There came a point in listening to teaching on marriage, that I realized I had a lot to learn.

I began to cultivate a teachable spirit. A teachable spirit is one in which we learn both knowledge and wisdom, and a willingness to apply that which we have learned.

There is a passage of scripture that explains the concept of being teachable. “That very night the believers sent Paul and Silas to Berea. When they arrived there, they went to the Jewish synagogue. And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. As a result, many Jews believed, as did many of the prominent Greek women and men.” Acts 17:10-12 NLT

When one of the greatest teachers of all time, the Apostle Paul, spoke to them, the Bereans listened to what Paul had to say. Their response was not, “Wow! He is a great speaker.” Or “I totally disagree with him because I have been taught a different way.” The Bible says that they listened and then searched the scriptures for themselves. They wanted truth. When they saw that the teaching lined up with the scriptures, many had changed lives. They applied to their lives the truth they had learned. They were teachable.

The Bible tells us that the Bereans searched the scriptures day after day. It was not a one-time, quick look. It was intentional, extended study. They were hungry for the truth, and when they found the truth, it changed their lives. They had a teachable spirit.

Many years into ministry and marriage, I set out to learn as much as I could. I read. Attended conferences. Hung out with strong women of God. Listened to the Holy Spirit’s conviction leading to a rebuilding in many areas of my life. God sent an amazing number of teachers, mentors, and friends along the way. All of them became teachers to me. Yes, ALL. Some taught me how to be a strong woman of God. Some taught me about being a parent. As I watched some, I was taught what not to be.

The key to growth is staying teachable. Many have gone to church their whole life, they believe in God, they even serve in ministry. Yet they are stuck in the same patterns and attitudes. This was me for many years. We might be good moral Christians according to the standards of the world, but God wants us to daily yield and to keep our hearts surrendered.

We must not only hear the word of God, but we must let it fall on good teachable soil and to take root. Then we will bear lasting fruit that changes us and others around us.

Stay teachable.

 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Proverbs 19:20).  “A poor yet wise youth is better than an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to receive instruction.” (Ecclesiastes 4:13). “Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.” (Proverbs 13:18). 

What is the most unfair thing that has happened to you in life? A spouse dying at a young age? Infertility? Passed over for a job promotion? Assaulted or robbed? No money to pay bills? Whew! There is a lot of unfairness in life.

As I was recently chatting with a friend I had not seen in a while, we began to talk about life. Our conversation drifted to my childhood. She already knew my story, but we talked about how unfair it is what some children are forced to endure while growing up. We continued chatting about what was currently going on in our lives, and she had tears well up in her eyes. Both of us had difficulties we were facing. She said, “Barbara Benton, you should not have to face anything else in your life. It is just not fair.”

We ended our conversation by stating our faith in God, and that we trusted Him whether life was fair or not.

There was a time in my life that I spent a lot of time and energy on being the “fair” police. When “that’s not fair” circumstances arose in my life or in the lives of those I loved, I made sure that everyone, including God, knew that what was happening simply was not fair.

The writer of Ecclesiastes said this about life, “The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all.” – Ecclesiastes 9:11.

The book of Ecclesiastes offers a wise perspective. Life does not work out fairly all the time even when we live a life devoted to God and choosing wisdom. Life is unpredictable, and our existence on the earth is a blip of time. We must keep an eternal perspective because this life is temporary and fleeting.

Unfairness in life does not mean that God is not in control.

The fact is that it was not fair that Jesus suffered a cruel death on the cross. I must remind myself that God was still in control when His Son was treated unfairly. He was in control when the flesh on the back of Jesus was torn apart by a cat of nine tails. God was in control when Jesus stumbled carrying a heavy cross to Golgotha. God saw the unfairness, but God was going to bring great victory from that unfairness.

God is doing the same for us. While we might not see unfairness corrected in this life, when we get to Heaven, we will see that God was always working in our lives. I love how one paraphrase stated Psalm 37:5. “Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way, you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!”

Life is hard. Life is unfair. God is still good, and He is working on the big picture. One day, we will see that He pulled it off perfectly! I choose faith when life is unfair.

Gaylon and I just returned from a trip to North Carolina to celebrate the life of a friend who has gone to his heavenly reward. I know he is rejoicing. For the decades we knew our friend Wayne, he always had a praise for his Lord and Savior, and he was busy sharing the love of God.

As we drove home yesterday, we were tired. The trip included the celebration of life, a little side trip to visit my sister who I rarely get to see, and a trip through Morganton to see our grandson Tucker and his family.

In four days, we drove almost fifteen hundred miles. As we neared home, I was thinking how glad I would be to step out of my car and into my home to rest. I began to sing the old hymn.

When I’ve gone the last mile of the way,
I will rest at the close of the day,
And I know there are joys that await me
When I’ve gone the last mile of the way.

We are all going to walk the last mile of the way some day. Our time on earth will be over, and our time in eternity will begin.

While in North Carolina, we saw many friends – friends that had no white hair when we met them, and now they have many or all white hairs on their heads. As I chatted with them, it was such a joy to know that they were still serving God faithfully. Life had not been without hardships, but they were still serving God. In a world that is often dark and filled with “acceptable” sin, they were still faithfully serving God. Some were walking a little slower, but they were still serving God. I chatted with one couple who had lost a child and two grandchildren, and they were still serving God. Some had their spouses forsake them and walk away, but they were still serving God.

Finally, we turned onto the last road that would take us home. As we got on the final road, we went over the last hill, and I knew I was almost home, and I began to sing the song a little louder. I knew home awaited me. We literally got out of the car and said, “Thank You, Lord, for keeping us as we traveled. It is great to be home.”

Gaylon and I are at the age now, where we find ourselves closer to the last mile of the way in life’s journey. God has been good to us, and He has kept us. Life has brought us many joys, and life has brought us many trials. I am so aware that home is just over the hill, and then I shall stand face-to-face with my Lord, and I can say to Him, “Thank You for keeping us as we traveled. It is great to be home.”

Heaven is real. My Savior is real. Eternity is real.

^“For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus, we shall always be with the Lord.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

Amazing to me is that we actually have people who make a living by being an “influencer.”  An influencer can persuade other people, for example their followers on social media, to do, buy, or use the same things they do. They get paid or are given free products in exchange for doing this. They work nonstop trying to get more followers and to get well known, and they are crushed when they lose followers on social media. Influencing is a big deal.

Though we might not be affected by social media influencers, we all have people who influence us. Over the years, I’ve had many influencers in my life, but not the social media kind. I am talking about the kind who have taken an active role in my healing process and my spiritual growth process. I am so grateful for those who have influenced my life, but do you know who my greatest influencer is? ME! I am my greatest influencer because no one talks to me about me more than me. Read that again: no one talks to me about me more than me.

Though mostly in my head, I have carried on conversations with me for decades. Truth be told, we have conversation with ourselves from the moment we arise in the morning until we go back to bed at night.

Within seconds of getting up today, I started rehearsing what was going to happen at my cardiologist visit. Would I weigh too much? How about my blood pressure? Would he be pleased with my EKG?

Other times, my mind, for unknown reasons, will talk to me about the environment in which I grew up – how poor we were, how unaccepted we were by so many, how mistreated we were. A regular conversation is the one where I discuss with me how I still cannot believe that our son Bryan died. I have had way too many conversations about the mistakes I made as a wife, parent, and pastor’s wife.

The point is that we are constantly carrying on conversations with ourselves, and those conversations are highly influential in what we say, what we do, and what we decide.

The most important conversation I have with myself is the conversation concerning what I believe about God.

What do you regularly tell yourself about God and your circumstances? Do you tell yourself that God is nowhere in the vicinity? Do you speak doubt and defeat to yourself?  “Well, I’ll never get out of this mess.” “I can never get ahead.” “There is no hope for me in this situation.”  Or do you remind yourself that God is with you and speak words of encouragement, faith, and trust to yourself?

In the book of First Samuel, David found himself in a horrible, heart-rending, sorrowful situation. His city had been burned, and his family was taken captive. David became an influencer to himself.

^“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” – 1 Samuel 30:6.

How wholesome, faith-driven, and Christ-centered is the conversation that you have with yourself every day? Do you remind yourself, “I am a child of God, and He is a good, good father!” Do you tell yourself to run to God in moments when you want to run from him?

Thank God for friends, pastors, teachers, loved ones, and all those who influence us in good ways, but no one (say it out loud, NO ONE) is more influential in your life than you are, because no one talks to you more than you do.

Give yourself wise counsel as a child of God. Write down and even memorize some faith-filled, encouraging scriptures and be an influencer when life comes at you fast.

I am my greatest influencer! Here are some of the conversations I have with myself.

“I am being strengthened with all power according to His might. I have great endurance and patience (Colossians 1:11 NIV). God loads me daily with benefits. He is my salvation (Psalm 68:19).”

“I will not fear for You are with me; I will not be dismayed, for You are my God. You will strengthen me and help me, You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10.) Every word of God is pure; You are my shield because I put my trust in You. (Proverbs 30:5.)”

I am confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). God works in me both to will and to do His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).

“The Holy Spirit is teaching me all things and bringing all things to my remembrance. (John 14:26); Today I will have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16) God will instruct me and teach me in the way that I should go. He is now guiding me with His eye, and I have understanding. (Psalms 32:8,9)”

Mother’s Day is a day that can produce a myriad of emotions. Let’s start with a little Mother’s Day humor:

1. “They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.”
2. “A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.”
3. I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
4. “I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.”
5. Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.
6. When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.

I love a good laugh, but Mother’s Day can produce far more than laughter. Mother’s Day can produce laughter, love, sorrow, anger, resentment, and emotions I have not even mentioned. Let’s talk about it.

First and foremost, there is thanksgiving for our mothers. My mom had such a hard life, but she put up with a lot of stuff so her eight kids would have a roof over their heads. From her I learned what sacrificial love is. Though I did not understand it at the time, I totally get it now. She taught me so many things. After all, she taught me to use a big-girl potty, and that is an invaluable tool in my life. She has been gone for four decades, and how I wish I could hold her hand and kiss her sweet face.

There is the joy of being a mother. I feel so blessed to be the mother of Michael, Bryan, and Stephen. I was about as imperfect a mother as could be found when my boys were young. I was still in the healing process of my own life. I wish I had known then what I know now about being a healed, whole person. It is worth it for you and your family, to get as whole as possible, so you can enjoy the journey. Also, I was such a perfectionist, wanting everything perfectly clean. Moms, you do not have to let it be a pigsty, but do not worry about every little thing, and instead have fun with your children.

For some, Mother’s Day is as painful as it is joyful. Perhaps the relationship with their mother was never good, even abusive. For some, this is the first year without Mother. Others are dealing with barrenness, longing to have a child of their own to hold in their arms. Some have the pain of miscarriage. I know that pain all too well and can still remember how that felt. I am personally praying with young women who long to have a child. How I wish I could take away their sorrow!

Then, there are the single moms, some of which have no help.

Others are caring for an elderly mother and doing it with great love. Yet, sorrow and exhaustion have become a way of life in many cases.

Some mothers are faced with children that have distanced from them. Maybe the relationship with one or more of their children is strained, or perhaps there is no relationship at all.   Others have watched as their children have become victims of addiction. I personally know several mothers who have broken hearts as a result of children who are incarcerated. 

Some mothers, like me, have mixed emotions. I have so much joy with my sons, their wives, and those precious grandchildren. Yet, at times I still feel warm tears flowing down my face wishing my son Bryan could call. I know he is in heaven, and I will see him again, but I wish I could see him now. I recently had a conversation with a woman, who had lost a son. I did not know her, but we both stood and cried talking about our sons. We rejoiced over what we do have but miss our sons very much.

In scripture, Hannah is always the mother to whom I am drawn. Her story is recorded in 1 Samuel chapter one. Hannah is an example of a woman of faith. She endures years of silent suffering because of her barrenness and the cruel harassment at the hand of her rival Peninnah. She goes to the place of worship, even though she is in pain herself. She faithfully worships, pouring out her tears and petitions. Hannah promised God that if He would give her a son, she would give him back to the service of God. God answers her prayers, she not only keeps her promise, but she also explodes with praise.

As a woman, Hannah knew sorrow for many years, strife in her home, barrenness, and pain. She never gave up on God. She poured her heart out year after year, and God miraculously turned her situation around, BUT only after years of getting up every day to the same set of circumstances. Hannah was a woman of faith, and it was a faith that gave her the strength to face the joys and sorrows of life.

As a woman, wherever you find yourself this Mother’s Day, do not give up on God. I can promise you; God will NEVER give up on you! He hears the cries of your heart. He sees every tear that falls. He knows the depth of pain you feel. Be a woman of faith, for faith will see you through. He understands your sorrow and your pain, and He will meet you right where you are.

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.” – Psalm 138:3

Over the course of fifty-three years of marriage, Gaylon and I have moved several times. While living in Florida, we lived temporarily in someone’s vacant furnished home while our home was being built. This required that most of our belongings stay in storage for several months – several months in a storage shed in sunny, HOT Florida.

Finally, the day arrived to move into our home. As I began unpacking boxes, I got to my couch cushions. They had been pressed up against something and were pushed inward and would not bounce back. Before that, they were always able to bounce back when pressure was applied. They had become depressed because of months of being pressured. As a result, they lost their beauty and usefulness.

That is a description of depression. Often in life we bounce back from all kinds of pressures and situations. Then, one day we cannot seem to bounce back, and one day turns into many days. We just cannot bounce back. Perhaps we lose that glimmer in our eye, or our contagious laughter.

Sometimes it is hard to confess that we are suffering from the pain of depression. Depression is one of the touchy subjects of the church. Many proclaim it is a spirit or a demon, and the person needs a laying-on-hands deliverance. While that might be true sometimes, most often it is not!

I think that depression can be categorized in two basic ways: clinical depression and situational depression. Clinical depression is a medical condition requiring professional help with a plan of action to wellness, just as illnesses of the body require a doctor.

There is no way one can exhaustively cover this subject in a blog. I shall endeavor to give basic info about situational depression and ways to win the victory.

Some people suffer from situational depression. Situational depression can come from divorce, death, financial problems, abuse, unfaithfulness of a spouse, health issues, infertility, wayward children, or other life circumstances.

I will use the death of a loved one as an example. I personally suffered situational depression after losing our son Bryan in 2011. The experience took my breath away at times, caused many sleepless nights, and caused me to experience a pall of heaviness that I could not shake. The interesting thing is that I experienced that for a few months after Bryan’s death, and then it strongly revisited as the year 2014 began. Situational depression can come upon us when pain or disappointment is overwhelming.

There! I said it! Barbara Benton has suffered bouts of depression. I am still a Spirit-filled, bible-believing, God-loving, and song-singing child of God! That statement will shock some, and cause others to look at me a bit differently. It is okay. I am all about helping people understand that they do not have to be overcome by life but can be an overcomer in life.

What have I learned through these times?

1. God is not mad at a depressed person. He wants to comfort the heart and bring peace.
2. Stay in His Word, not because we must read daily or we are bad Christians, but because much strength comes as the Word of truth penetrates the dark night of the soul. Walk around reading the Psalms aloud.  Insert your name as you read. For example:  The Lord is Barbara Benton’s shepherd.  He will cause ME to lie down in green pastures of rest. He will do that because “I” am His child.
3. Press through the “I don’t feel like it” emotion. The Word of God is true, firm, and unchanging.
4. Have faith in God. Trust in the darkness what you have learned in the light. It WILL bring you through. Trusting what God says rather than your feelings. Feelings can be deceptive.
5. Talk with a close friend or family member who can be trusted and who will pray with/for you. The devil would love for you to keep it a secret. I went through a period of not wanting others to know how much I was suffering. Make regular prayer appointments with those people. Prayer is essential, and the power of what it can do is immeasurable.
6. Exercise and do not hole up in your home. Staying in all by myself was a great temptation.
7. Speak to a Christian counselor, if needed. That person can help to put things in perspective.

It is impossible to cover all that the Bible says about depression, sorrow, and hopelessness, so I will only share a bit.

1. David was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, his heart was desolate, and his tears fell all night.
2. Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, and Elijah expressed feelings of rejection, loneliness, self-pity, hopelessness, overwhelming grief, and wished they had not been born. It seems they are expressing more than temporary sadness, but classic symptoms of major depression.
3. After the death of her husband and sons, Naomi asked that her name be changed to “Mara” which means bitterness.
4. In Second Corinthians chapter four, Paul had classic symptoms: his flesh had no rest, he was troubled on all sides, he was cast down, he had fears within, and he despaired of life.
5. Hannah had many of the symptoms of depression and her spiritual leader instantly and incorrectly accused her of a spiritual problem.

Yet, God brought each of them through this time of despondency. God saw where they were emotionally. God cared. God brought them through. God wants to do that for you! God does want us to live life abundantly. That is His ordained plan for the believer.

God is our hope amid depression. One of the great truths of the Bible is that God is our hope when we are in trouble, including depression. The message is clear. When depression hits, fix your eyes on God, his power, and his love for you. This is what God has declared:

• The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
• The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
• So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• And I will pray to the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. (John 14:16)
• And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew28:20)

What do I want you to take away from this blog? You are not a horrible Christian if you have been through, or you are going through depression. God does not love you any less. I also want you to know that I can testify to this: “He has turned my mourning into dancing. He has put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.”  I want you to know that “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Though we go through dark times, God will bring us back into a time of rejoicing. Indeed, He will! When you are troubled and depressed, there is hope in God. I can testify to that!

For several years now, I have fought AFib. There are times my heart rate hangs out in the 160s and 170s, and there are times when it decides to take a break and stays in the 30s and 40s. Next week, my cardiologist hopes to resolve the issues with my heart and give me a stronger life. I am at a point where I must deal with what is happening in my heart, so I can live a healthy life.

If you looked at my outside, my body appears to be healthy, but it’s my heart that is affecting my overall health and causes problems with living as I desire.

There is a verse in the Bible that brings this truth home to our spiritual lives. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverb 4:23). Another version says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.” I use the New King James Version a lot, and it says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

It is impossible to live a victorious Christian life unless we take care of our hearts. What we allow in our hearts is what determines the course of our lives. One cannot have the wrong thing in the heart and live right. (Perhaps, one cannot have the right thing in the heart and live wrong. Selah.) Today, more than ever, there is so much that tries to invade our hearts. It is a constant battle to keep a pure, right heart.

God is saying, “If you are not paying attention to much, pay attention to this one thing: your heart.”  Guard it. Keep a close watch over it.

How do we guard the heart? Let me just make a few suggestions.

1. Watch points of entry. With today’s liberties in TV programs, music, and the Internet, it will take a guard to keep out things that pollute the heart. God does not police these entry points, we do. We guard and keep them out. Yes, the Holy Spirit will warn us, but we must guard the heart.
2. Realize the value God puts on the heart. If God says to guard the heart, then God is saying that is a valued area. Value guarding the heart.
3. Do not guard alone. Imagine if a fort needed guarding and one person was doing all the guarding every hour of every day, every day of every week, and every week of every month. That guard would become very weary and compromise the ability to guard well. We all need trusted people who can show us blind spots and vulnerable openings. I have at least two in my life. Do you have other guards to help you guard your heart?

There are certainly others, but this is a good start to help us be guards of the heart.

After next week, my heart will be corrected, which puts me in a much better position to lead a strong life. I want to be sure to correct my spiritual heart, so I can lead a strong life in Christ.

Your heart matters. It is a wellspring of life, bubbling up and influencing everything you do. Guard it. Care for it. Keep it clean. Know that Jesus is with you in the process. He is the ultimate purifier of our heart, and He will continue His excellent work in us until it is complete.

My youngest son turns forty-eight next week. YOUNGEST. I was thinking about the years today, challenging years, blessed years, younger years, older years. It is hard to believe that four of my siblings are no longer living, and four of us are left. Three of us are in our seventies and one is in her eighties. All of us have lived to be older than our parents did.

It just does not seem possible that so much time has passed since we lived on 14 Milton Road. We were so utterly poor, and we made our own games, and crazy they were. Eight kids who played hide and seek and would hide the smallest kids in the oven or other dangerous places! Eight kids who would swim in a ditch filled with filthy water after a rainstorm, water containing poison that had been sprayed to kill mosquitoes. Eight kids who jimmied a board out of the floor of the bedroom where all eight of us slept. We then would sneak through that hole and go outside to play in the dark. It is a wonder any of us turned twenty, much less seventy!

Sometimes, I think we forget how blessed we are for each day that God allows us to wake up and breathe the oxygen He created. It is not an accident or happenstance, that you are alive on the earth today. God could have called us home long ago.

I will be seventy-four years old this year, and I thank God for every year He has given me. I have always known life was a gift from God, and after losing our son Bryan who was thirty-six, I never take life for granted anymore. It is truly a gift from God, and God has us here for a reason.

I especially want to speak to women for a moment. When we see wrinkles and spider veins, when hair starts changing color or disappearing altogether, and when muscles get soft and skin begins to sag, a dread can grip us. Do not buy into the ridiculous cultural mindset that the older you get, the less important you are in society. I mean if you have wrinkles, gray hair, and fallen body parts, you just are not relative. Society might make you feel that way, but God does not! God has your days numbered, and has you here on purpose, for purpose. If ever we have needed women who could pass on common sense and biblical wisdom, it is today!

Yep, I will soon be the ancient age of seventy-four, but I plan to keep doing things that will count for eternity. I plan to invest in the Kingdom, the lives of others, and especially the lives of my grandchildren. I want to pass down some things, but more than anything I want to pass down things that matter most.

Please don’t forget—God has decided to let you live this long. In all seasons of life, we should see the blessings and not the downfalls. Thank Him every day for the breath in your lungs.

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. – Proverbs 16:31; The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright. – Psalm 92:12-15; I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. – Isaiah 46:4.”

Yesterday, Gaylon and I were returning from a trip to Isle of Palms, South Carolina. For the past ten years, we, along with three other couples, have met in various areas for a vacation. We all raised our children together, went to church together, prayed together, and shared together each other’s burdens. We started out young together, and now we all have streaks of white in our hair, and in some cases, totally snow-colored hair. If you have friends that have been in your life for decades, then you are blessed.

As we packed our cars, prayed together, and gave warm hugs, each got into their vehicles and headed in various directions until next year’s trip.

Gaylon and I had paid close attention to the weather because we knew there were tornadoes and strong storms where we were headed. In order to get home, we had to drive into the storm. The very thought of facing powerful storms was scary. The what ifs danced around in my head as we drove down the highway.

Just before entering the huge Atlanta metro, we saw the skies were getting very dark. I was driving, and I knew the dark storm before me would make travel dangerous, especially since we would be sharing the road with thousands of other vehicles.

I would be less than truthful if I said I was not fighting fear right and left. These storms had already left much destruction in their path and even loss of life. The clouds got darker and darker. We began to pray. A few hours earlier, our life was filled with sunshine, and now darkness was starting to engulf us.

As I continued to drive into the storm, I realized I was still wearing my sunglasses, which are tinted very dark. I removed the shades and traded them for my regular glasses. It was amazing how much less intimidating the storm ahead looked. The storm did not change. How I saw the storm changed!

At times, that is how life feels. What once was sunshine and laughter can quickly turn into a nightmare. As the storm clouds gather, we realize that we cannot stop the darkness that surrounds us. As soon as we recognize that things are about to overwhelm us, emotions start to quickly cloud our judgment. Panic. Frustration. Anger. Worry. Storms come in every shape and size in our lives.

For a period of about an hour, as we saw the storm approaching, watched the radar, and listened to forecasts, emotions were toying with us. We kept calling out to God and leaning on God to get us home. A change of focus caused the storm not to go away, only to appear less ominous. We still had to travel through the storm.

Are you seeing storm clouds on the horizon? Does it appear you will have no choice but to go through the storm? Call out to God and allow Him to give you a different perspective on the storm. Remember, even when things look like they could not get any worse, God is right there. He knows the path of each raindrop, the brightness of each lightning bolt, and He knows you, His blessed child.

As dark as those clouds seem, His cloud of grace is so much greater! He will guide you safely to the shore. Until then, change to your spiritual glasses.

“Who is like you, LORD God Almighty? You, LORD, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them.” – Psalm 89:8-9

Andrew Carnegie’s wife was so fond of classical music that at the end of every year, she insisted that Andrew pay any outstanding debts incurred by the New York Philharmonic Symphony. Finally, Andrew became weary and faced the symphony’s board of directors with this challenge: “I can’t keep doing this year in and year out. You need to go out and raise half of the money needed, and I will give the other half.”

Within a few days the board members called him with good news. “Mr. Carnegie, we have met your request. We have half of the money we need.”

Carnegie was pleased, applauded their efforts, and said he would fulfill his end of the agreement. Before he hung up the telephone, he asked, “Where did you get the other half?”

There was a pause and then the answer: “Mrs. Carnegie!”

Generosity.

When I first began a true walk with God, I was not a generous giver at all! I was tormented by a spirit of lack. I came from a home where abject poverty was simply a part of our lives. It was not unusual for the children to have very few clothes, and the ones we had were mostly hand-me-downs given to us. Shoes were often tattered and worn. My sister and I were recently reminiscing about how we lived in such poverty.

I remember being in a reading circle with several other students in my first-grade class. Bill was also in my reading circle. The teacher walked away from the circle for a moment, and Bill got on the floor in the center of the group and laid down. His head was right by my foot, and he began to laugh. He exclaimed for everyone to hear, “You have holes in the bottom of your shoes.”  I was so humiliated. My sister recalled the bottom of her shoes being so worn that the soles were barely attached to the shoes. As she walked down the school hall, the soles would flap, and kids would laugh.

So many of my years as a teenager were spent wishing I had money, lots of money. I never wanted to feel poverty again.

After Jesus found me at age seventeen, I began a path of learning the ways of God and trying to live those ways. (Trust me when I tell you that I am sure my guardian angels thought I would never make it.) Here I am fifty years later, and I hardly recognize that young woman of seventeen. Thank God for His patience!

One area that was so difficult for me was the area of money. After we were married, I realized that I married a very generous man who loved to give to God and to others. When Gaylon explained tithing to me and thought that was a great starting place for our giving, I was like, “Are you crazy? That is a lot of money. Think about what we could buy with that! What if we run out of money?” I resented when we gave money to the church, and Gaylon was the pastor!

Over time, I began to ask God to help me defeat the worry of lack. It was a battle! I could trust God with my eternity but not with my wallet. Following Jesus financially is an intentional decision that I made, and I did not feel it at the moment. Fast forward fifty years, and I am amazed at the change God has brought in me. I now understand what it is to be a cheerful giver.

My husband is no longer a pastor and is retired from vocational ministry. This article is not self-serving at all. I am not even going to take an offering at the end! I am not a fan of “arm-twisting” appeals for money. Do not even get me started on that!

What is my rule of thumb for giving? Give as much as you can, whenever you can. Look for opportunities to bless others, and at times, if possible, do it anonymously! That is so much fun! We are not talking about simply opening up the coffers and giving to every cause that comes along. While I believe we are called to freely give, I also know we are not called to give carelessly.

Money is important and it is on most people’s minds a lot, especially in this time of inflation we face as a nation. Please remember that every time you give, it is an opportunity to remember that God is the master over everything — including money. Giving reminds us that Jesus is the source of everything we have.

When we give, let us be motivated by God and not guilt. We do not have to repay God for His gift of salvation—a self-righteous, foolish, and impossible endeavor. Let the motivation be to praise, worship, and honor God, for no price tag can be placed on the work done at Calvary.

I am so grateful for deliverance from a tormenting spirit of lack. I have heard it said we should live like there is no tomorrow, and that has some truth. I also want to give like there is no tomorrow. I want to be generous. How about you?

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7.