I am not used to a house full of girls, but it’s fun! My son is out of town for about a week, so I came to stay with Alica and the girls, to help out with transportation and other things.

Michael and Alica have a foster child, who we will call Olivia. Olivia is a full-of-life four-year old, and that’s an understatement! Olivia asks the question, “Why?” about twenty-five times a day on a slow day. Yesterday, Olivia was sick so she stayed with me all day, and asked “why” more times than I can count.

All the girls in Alica’s house have very long hair, flowing way down the back. My hair is shoulder length. Olivia asked me several times yesterday, “Why your hair short?” I kept telling her that my hair is not short, but she kept insisting that my hair is short. To me, shoulder length is long. To Olivia, it’s not long unless it flows down one’s back. I will never convince her that my hair is long. We could have argued over and over about the length of hair, and in the scheme of life it doesn’t matter.

Too often in “church” world, we argue and bicker over things that don’t matter. It’s easy to feel that’s it is our gift and call in life to convince everyone to believe just as we do. Some things are simply not set in concrete.

The definition of long hair and short hair don’t matter, but let me state emphatically that there are many non-negotiables in the Word of God. The most important one is that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and the Savior of the World.  According to scripture, He is the only way to the Father. “Barbara, who do you think you are saying that Jesus is the only way?”  I didn’t say it. I am just repeating what Jesus said in John 14:6.

We are in an hour when it’s popular to embrace every religion as a pathway to God for eternal life. The most important question facing the Church today is the same that Jesus asked the disciples in Mark 8:29, “But what about you?” he asked.  “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.”  Lots of people were identifying Jesus different ways, but Peter answered correctly!

I don’t really care about “long hair” issues. I want to know, if you identify as a follower of Jesus Christ, how you answer the question, “Who do you say I am?”   Unless that is answered correctly, the rest doesn’t even matter.

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” – Acts 4:12

Why don’t you just drive up my tail pipe! Have you ever felt like that when someone is following you way too closely?

As I was driving down the winding road leading to my little hometown of Helena, AL, a driver was about twelve inches from my bumper. I tried brake tapping a few times, but to no avail. This car wanted me out of the way, but alas, there was nothing I could do. I was driving on a two lane road, with lots of curves and no passing was allowed, and I was driving the speed limit.

I really wanted to stop and have a little conversation with the driver, but not the kind you might think. I had recently gotten a ticket while driving in Helena. I was clocked doing thirty-two miles per hour in a twenty-mile an hour speed zone. That little venture cost me one hundred and eighty six dollars, and four hours of traffic school. I wanted to tell the driver that I had learned my lesson the hard way. I wanted to tell the driver that driving like that will cost you.  I wanted to let the driver know that I had already paid the price on that road, and could help her learn a better way down that road. I can keep you from making the mistakes that I have made. I can save you a lot of trouble and heartache!  (Yes, I really thought these things!)

How that same lesson translates where spiritual things are concerned!

Do you have a mentor – a person that you will allow to walk with you, and help you in maturing in Christ? There are many who have walked down roads that have cost them something. We would do ourselves well to learn all we can from them. We can learn what to do and what not to do.

I presently have, and have had in the past, the privilege of mentoring other believers. My desire is to teach them to walk with God, closely with God. I also want to keep them from making mistakes that cost me too much.

Getting feedback from others is also absolutely critical. If we don’t get feedback, it’s easy to get off course. During all the Apollo trips to the moon, those spaceships had to do frequent course corrections. The earth was turning, and the moon was turning. To make it, the astronauts had to constantly change the course of their ship. And the only way they could do that was to get feedback. As a result of listening to and applying feedback, they were successful in their journeys.

Find someone with character. Find someone in love with God. Find someone you trust. Find a mentor.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

My husband was scheduled for a colonoscopy at 8:30 this morning. We arrived early and went to the place we thought his procedure was to be done. We were sent to another part of the hospital which was quite a walk. I will spare the details, but there was huge mix-up, and at 9:45 we were still waiting. As it turned out we should have stayed at the first office. By the time we got to the right place it was 10:00 and we were afraid they might not even be able to do it. Fortunately they were still able to take Gaylon.

I was a bit frustrated because I had a busy day ahead and that hour and a half was precious to me. Now, I was wondering if there was any way I could make my next appointment scheduled for 12:45.

Why, why, why?

As I sat in the waiting room of the hospital once Gaylon was taken back, I watched two older woman sitting beside each other laughing and enjoying each others’ company. They seemed like close friends. One of them even asked me were they too loud. I grinned and said, not at all. It was actually entertaining to watch the two white-haired, seventy-something year old friends.

I left the room to go meet with the doctor to get Gaylon’s results, which were great. Afterward I returned to the waiting room until my husband was officially discharged. About fifteen minutes later, one of the women went back to get her husband’s results. She hobbled past me walking with her cane, but took time to shoot me a huge grin. In about fifteen minutes she hobbled back by with tears streaming down her face and her countenance so downcast. She sat down by her friend and began to tell her the bad report that she had just received from the doctor concerning her husband. She wept, and her friend hugged her tightly for quite some time. They literally wiped each others’ tears.

My heart was gripped for this woman. She continued to cry for a while, as her friend patted her hand and tried to console her.

As I sat watching this woman, I felt like God said, “Pray for her.”  So, I began to pray for her. Then I felt God clarified what He meant, “Go over and pray for her.”  Lord, this is awkward.

Finally, I walked over and said, “Do you mind if I pray for you and your husband?” She said, “Please do!” After my time with them, I got their names and promised that she and her husband would be on my prayer list. Those two women were beyond grateful. Immediately after this divine encounter, my husband was ready to go home.

I did not like the delay I experienced. After all, I am a busy woman! Today I was reminded that the delays of life are often orchestrated by God. Without that delay, I would not have been in the waiting room at the same time as the grieving woman who needed a touch from God. Thank God for delays.

“God, forgive my grumbling when I am inconvenienced. I trust you with the delays of my life.”

The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. – Psalm 37:23 NLT

I have been on the road for quite a few weekends, with little time at home. When I was home, there was time to study, get ready for the next trip and spend a little time with family.

Today, I finally ventured out into the Birmingham metro to do a little shopping. I was amazed at some of the things I saw. While I was away, much work had been going on. What had previously been a cleared field being prepared for construction, now had the walls of a building going up. As I got off the interstate, there were no longer signs saying “Work Zone,” for the road and intersection were completed.

How amazing it is that while I was going about God’s will for my life, lots of work was happening without me being aware of it!

This is a great picture of how God is at work in our lives. He is doing far more than we comprehend. He is building things and tending to details on our behalf. There will be times when it seems like nothing is changing, nothing good is happening and there is little hope. BUT GOD … is working behind the scenes. He has never let you out of His sight. He is doing things for your good that you aren’t even aware of. He is working out situations. He is lining up details. He is giving you favor. He is protecting you from the enemy. God is at work!

Child of God, be encouraged today. As we continue to walk faithfully with Him, He is faithful to us. Farther down the line you will look back and see that God was putting all the pieces of your puzzle together.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28 NLT

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

That’s the way I feel when I drink Starbucks coffee, but I constantly hear that it’s the best coffee around, and the cool coffee to drink. I never drink the stuff unless there is no alternative. While staying in a hotel in California, the only coffee offered for guests was Starbucks. I do love my morning coffee! So, each morning, I worked at adapting a taste for the strong, bitter-tasting Starbucks. By the fifth morning, I had gotten so used to it, that I found myself saying this isn’t so bad.

I learned to swallow something that previously I shoved away. Why? I kept exposing myself to it. I kept taking it in, even though my tongue kept rejecting it. Over time, my tongue began to say this isn’t so bad.

As I look around the Body of Christ today, I see too many of God’s people “adapting to the taste of Starbucks.” Things that would have been previously shoved away are now being taken in as okay – things that absolutely don’t line up with the Word of God.

At this point in the blog, I usually pontificate a bit, but this time, I ask you to ponder deeply:  Are you in danger of swallowing the Starbucks issues of life because it’s the popular thing to do?  Are you even developing a taste for it?

For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. –  2 Timothy 4:3

He was so tired, but did not want to stop to rest. I am talking about Andrew, our fourteen-month-old grandson. He recently spent a few hours at our home. Andrew gets up really early, so by mid morning, he definitely needs a nap.

As the clock approached eleven, we had tried rocking him, playing lullaby music and putting his head on a shoulder. All those were unsuccessful. Finally, the decision was made to put him in the crib, and let him go to sleep on his own. While I continued to rock Andrew, Gaylon went to the room to remove all the toys from the crib, which doubles as a storage bin for a whole lot of toys! Our toys are different from their regular toys, and the boys play with them only when they are at our house. Gaylon spread all the toys across the bed in the room, and they totally covered the bed.

As I walked into the room to place Andrew in the crib, he saw a bed full of toys. He pointed. He smiled. He said, “Ball, ball!” I did not acknowledge his delight, but laid him in the crib, walked out of the room and closed the door. Andrew cried a little, but then stopped and I could hear him say, “Ball, ball.” Cry a little, “Ball, ball.”

How did I expect Andrew to give way to the rest needed with so many distractions?

So many of us are tired physically and spiritually, yet, we can’t get our gaze off the distractions. I found myself there recently. With several weekends of ministry ahead, I have much preparation. I found myself distracted by so many things, and realized the “Martha” syndrome was alive and at work!

I am a doer and rescuer by nature. That’s not all bad. There has to be some “Martha” going on, or we’d never get anything accomplished. Faith without works is dead. Jesus did not tell “Martha” to never cook again, never be hospitable again. The problem was Martha had become tense, irritable and mad. Jesus said, “You are distracted by too many things. You are totally missing my presence, because you are too distracted.”

I found myself in the midst of my preparation tense, irritable, tired and worried. God whispered to me, “Barbara, Barbara, you are distracted by so many things. Don’t miss my presence in this.” I closed everything down. No one was in the house but me. I settled myself before the Lord, and sat at His feet. It was amazing how refreshed I was at the end of the day, and how much His Word came alive to me.

Are you weary? Turn off Facebook, Twitter, television and even your phone. You mean turn my phone completely off? How can I live without my phone? Quite nicely. Sometimes I long for the good old days when we did not always have a phone attached to our hip. Thirty minutes without the phone, spent in God’s presence will do amazing things. Get with God and let Him sweep over your weariness.

Weapons of mass distraction are one of the greatest weakeners of the Christian life today.  Distractions must be conquered or they will conquer us.

“The Lord answered, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.’ – Luke 10:41

Seven friends and I are on a health journey together. It’s a high-level accountability eating and exercising program. Each day we check-in to tell how much we ate that day, and often what we ate. We also share whether we got up off our blessed assurance and moved our bodies! We pray for and encourage each other. If someone does not check-in by the evening, one or more of us “hunts them down” to see if they are staying on the journey.

As I was shopping in the grocery store yesterday, I ran across a great deal that I rarely see. The deli was running a half-off special on their delicious peanut-butter filled pretzel squares. I immediately picked them up and put them in my cart. In my mind, I was already eating those pretzels while watching a good football game or a good movie.

As I continued walking around the grocery store, I could hear the voices of my accountability partners: “Now, you know you don’t want to eat all that junk.” “Put them back on the shelf.” “This is not good for the journey you are on.” I also was doing a little self-talk: “You know that you either have to lie tonight when you check-in, or you have to tell them that you made a very bad choice – intentionally made a very bad choice, one that will set you back on your journey.”

Finally, just before I went through the checkout line, I walked over to the deli and put the high-fat, high-calorie snack back. I knew that I needed to be careful about my choices concerning what I brought into my house. Thank goodness for my accountability partners! They have challenged me to do the right things so I will thrive in the physical realm.

There is a lot of discussion of whether we, as God’s people, need to be accountable to anyone besides God. My answer is a big, resounding YES!

Some of us have bad connotations about what accountability is. Accountability is not about confrontation or control. We may, at times, need to be confronted and to confront another, but accountability is more about challenging one another to grow in Christ. Accountability helps line us up with the warning precepts that God has given us, but it also offers support, counsel, encouragement, and affirmation.

What might have been different had these people in scripture turned to someone who was strong in God:

1. What if David had told someone he was tempted to sleep with Bathsheba and wanted them to hold him accountable?
2. What if Judas had told someone he was in talks to betray Jesus for a little bit of money?
3. What if Samson had allowed someone to tell him that he was looking for love in all the wrong places, and that particular relationship would take him down a road of destruction?
4. What if King Saul had a trusted person to whom he could say, “I’m fighting jealously where David is concerned, and I’ve getting too haughty in my God-given role?”
5. What if Lot would have turned to a godly person and said, “I’m getting pulled into Sodom, and I want you to walk closely with me to be sure that doesn’t happen?”
6. What if Ananias and Sapphira had gone to strong believers with whom they had built a close relationship, and said, “We are tempted to be hypocritical, and make people think we are so spiritual, when we really are not?”

We will never know how differently things would have turned out in those situations, because none of them went to an accountability partner.

Are you accountable? Do you have strong Christian friends to whom you go? Will that person(s) hold you accountable in your spiritual walk? Are you the type of person that people can come to when they need accountability? Whose voice will say to you, “Don’t bring that into your house?”

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the day approaching.”  Hebrews 10:25

Rebecca is a friend of mine, and she is doing something special for my family. Losing our son Bryan has, beyond a doubt, been the most difficult part of our journey on earth. Adding to our heartache has always been that Bryan never got to meet his precious son Tucker. We often laugh at what it would have been like for Bryan to see a “mini” Bryan. As a matter of fact, once the family discovered Bryan and Sarah were having a boy, Bryan several times, jokingly said, “We are going to name him “L’il” Bryan. That was prophetic!

Sarah and all of us want Tucker to know about his dad. One of the ways that is happening is via my friend Rebecca. Rebecca is making Tucker a memorial quilt using Bryan’s old tee-shirts. The tees that were chosen all represent things that Bryan loved. Tucker, with our help, can walk down memory lane and know about the love of his father, and the kind of man he was.

As God’s children, I think we should all create a memorial quilt in our minds, and in our journals. Write it down.  In the midst doing life, it’s easy to forget the love of our Father.

If I were to make a quilt, I know some of the squares would include:

• God found this little hurt and abused girl, and adopted her through Christ, and healed her crushed emotions.
• God supplied the funds for me to go to Southeastern University of the Assemblies of God. After one semester, I was asked to take a semester off to pay the bill, and then I could return.  What would I do?  I looked in my mailbox just before Christmas break, and there was a note that my bill had been paid in full. I still don’t know who paid it.
• God blessed me with a loving, patient husband, who would be a huge piece of the puzzle for my emotional wholeness to take place. I listen to women pray for a man, any man, just a man! Or, people pray that God will send a man who is 6’1”, blonde and rich. I am just thankful God sent the exact man I needed.
• God sent wonderful women in my life to mentor me to become a woman of God. They were tough on me sometimes, but I am so thankful that they did not sugar coat things to make me feel better. On that quilt square would be Women of the Word, Iverna Tompkins, Mary Ann Brown and June Evans. I don’t want to be a shallow, mediocre believer; I want to be a woman of God!
• God blessed me with wonderful sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren. My cup runneth over.
• God blessed me with people who rubbed me the wrong way. Though I did not think so at the time, I needed them. I needed them to show me things that  needed changing in my own life. I needed their help to learn to serve God faithfully, knowing that everyone is not going to jump on my band wagon,  and not to wimp out every time someone hurts my feelings.
• God has given me wonderful, wonderful friends in the Body of Christ. They are like family. I can cry with them, laugh with them and grow with them.
• God has opened doors of ministry for me that I never dreamed possible. If you had asked me thirty years ago if I would be doing this now, I would have said NO! God does have a purpose for us, and as we faithfully walk with Him, He will bring us into that divine purpose.

I could go on and on and make a king-sized quilt.

Tucker will always see things on a quilt, and there will be a story that he has learned about His father. Those blocks will tell the story of his dad.

There’s something that happens when we just sit and go back over our lives, and remember the love of the Father. After reading this blog, take a piece of paper and begin drawing your memory quilt. Pull it out frequently and be reminded of who your Father is. Better yet, tell your children the stories of the squares of your quilt so they will know the Father.

Start sewing your quilt today. Square by square, you will see the love of the Father, and what a beautiful display it will be.

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

Last night I had the privilege of sharing a brief teaching, via conference call, hosted by Women of the Word. WOW is a ministry that I have the utmost confidence in their goals of honoring God and mentoring women.

My subject was “I Know I Have a Destiny but How Do I Get There?” We often labor over the thought of destiny, God’s will or His purpose for us. Yet, I believe it is impossible to miss destiny if we walk closely with God. The bottom line is that destiny is not reached by declaring it, but decisions determine destiny.

Declarations about God’s promise, provision and power are easy to make. Right decisions, when I don’t see Him at work, are not as easy. How will I walk with God on a daily basis? What will I decide in the moments when I am faced with hindrances, inconveniences, tests and trials? Those are defining moments in my walk with God. Decisions determine destiny.

On the conference call, we peeked into the life of Joseph. We only had time to look at the first defining moment for Joseph, where we saw that Joseph had a “pit call” moment in life. He was suddenly jerked from his happy home environment and thrown into a deep dark pit, and it was done by his brothers. Believe or not, it could have been worse, all but one brother wanted to kill him.

I want you to envision the pit. Picture it looking similar to a well. It was deep, dark, bug-infested and uncomfortable. While down there, the Bible tells us that Joseph’s brothers were having lunch. Imagine what it must have been like to hear them laughing over lunch and going on with life, after they just put his life in the pit.

Pit stops. We will all have them. It’s a time when we are thrown into utter darkness in life, and it’s often at the hands of those we thought would never do us that way. It’s easy to get emotionally stuck in the pit. Who wouldn’t feel angry, discouraged, sad or betrayed? Those are normal human emotions, emotions that we can take to God. We don’t have to hide them in His presence.

BUT … pit stops cannot stop our destiny or purpose. Pit stops are not bigger than God, nor are the people or situations that thrust us into those dark moments.  Our God is greater, awesome in power! That is without question!  The real question is what decisions will I make while in that pit. Will I throw up my hands and quit because it got tough? Will I check out on God because He did not handle it the way I thought He would?  Will my anger against those who put me there consume me, slowly turning into bitterness? On the wall of the pit, will I draw a large mural of those who hurt me, so I can stare at it several times a day, and hate those who dropped me in that hole? What decisions will I make in the pit stops of life?

I have decided to follow God. That decision is final. I think on the wall of my pit, I will draw a big picture of the Savior and Lover of my soul, the one who died for me. On another wall, I will paint the words, “He Is Lord.” I have decided that is what will  be the decor of my pit.

He has a path for me to walk, and He will get me from one step to another, until I am walking fully in the purpose for my life. Joseph followed God step by step. It was thirteen hard, unfair years before he even stepped into the true destiny God had spoken to him through dreams. He was thirty when he became second in command in Egypt, and lived to be one hundred and ten years old. Eighty wonderful years of destiny, after thirteen years of  difficulty and unfairness!

Joseph did not give up in the pit. He did not spend all of his energy plotting the demise of those who put him there. The Bible tells us over and over that God was with Joseph. I believe that was written for us, not for Joseph. He is living it in real time.  We have to decide that God is with us, no matter what wind is howling against our lives.

Joseph stepped into destiny at age thirty and stayed there for the final eighty years of his life. He couldn’t control what his brothers did to him, but he could decide to live for God anyway. He could decide to trust God anyway.

I have decided to follow Jesus – no turning back, even when life is “pit”iful. How about you? Decisions determine destiny.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6

As a minister who travels to different churches, it is interesting to see the variety out there.

God’s Church is imperfect, mainly because WE are there. We, the forgiven, who are hopefully growing in Christ-likeness. We, God’s children, who hopefully understand it isn’t just about my needs, or having a “good” service, but about being a part of the mission of God in our cities. Just as in our own families – some never grow up, some are difficult to get along with, some are incredibly loving, some are clueless, some care deeply, some are lazy, some do most of the work. It is very much a family. I love God’s Church. He created it, so He must have felt we needed the family to get together.

My heart is touched as I follow the story of a church in Wisconsin. The pastor and his wife have three children, and two have disabilities. God laid it on their hearts to make a place for families with children who have disabilities. They have recently built a room for children with sensory processing issues, and we were thrilled to partner with them in this effort. Now, people in the community are starting to come to the church, people with special-needs children who had not been able to find a building suitable for their kids with sensory issues. Not every church is going to offer that.

How exciting to see people who are not grumbling about how the church is irrelevant, or uncaring, etc., but instead determined to make it a more caring place. More than we like to admit, there is great truth in the statement: Be part of the solution, not the problem.

Some say church is repetitious. So is life. So is school. So is work.  Then there are those times that a day in life, or at school is so exciting!   Church can be like that. We sing, we pray, we listen, we say hello, we go home. There will be days like that, but then there are those times when God is more tangible in His house, and it is a breath of fresh air. Church is about meeting God in His house.

I am in a really good church. Do I like everything about it? NO! NO! NO! But, I plan to be a part of what is God is doing there, understanding it operates like a family as described above.  Having a bad experience with one family member does not make the whole family bad.  I have said many times, “Some of God’s people need to come with warning labels.”

There are thousands of churches in the USA.  If you can’t serve, attend,  or be a part of the one where you are, find one where you can. But, know that it will be like a family which means sometimes it will be about your needs/desires, and sometimes it will be about touching other members of the family. Sometimes you will get your feelings hurt, and sometimes you will hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes you will disagree, and sometimes you will be disagreeable.

We are family – my brothers and my sisters and me.  I love the Church.