We frequently hear that God has a beautiful plan for our lives.  Once we become aware of that, we are often not prepared for the “in-between.” “In-between” is the time span from when I believe and receive God’s promises for my life, and the time when I see it come to fruition.  There are many types of hindrances that come “in-between,” such as difficult family members, financial woes, unexpected heartache or difficulties at work. Most battles are lost in “in-between.”  Too often people give up “in-between.”

The men and women of God in scripture were victorious because they kept believing God, and walking with God, even through the “in-between.”  A few examples:

1. Noah kept building the ark for years and years, though he had no converts, and plenty of jeers and sneers.  He just kept building while “in-between.”
2. Joseph had to deal with pits, Potiphar’s wife and prison before receiving the promise.  He just kept trusting God’s word “in-between.”
3. Paul received a promise that he would go to Rome.  Before he arrived in Rome, he faced imprisonment, shipwreck and waylay on a strange island.  Paul just kept serving faithfully “in-between.”
4. Mary received the promise that she would birth something of the Holy Spirit. “In-between” there were questions from people, Joseph who wanted to break off their relationship and a trip on a donkey only to give birth in a stable.   Mary willingly endured “in-between” so God could birth something through her.

“In-between” can be difficult, and might cause us to wonder if God will do anything at all.  It is so easy to quit “in-between.”  Don’t quit, and don’t give up!  God is preparing every step for victory over each hindrance that you find “in-between.”   You can have full confidence in God.

I’ve had a lot of “in-between” time, but I refuse to quit.  Like the Psalmist, I declare:

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:13-14

Joseph, our two-year-old grandson is fascinated with our master bedroom and master bath area. None of us knows why, but the boy gravitates to that area every time he is at my house.

One day while visiting, Joseph left the living room, and I did not hear him for a bit.  I walked down the hall to locate Joseph, and there he was in the master bathroom.  As I looked in the tub, I could see that Joseph had thrown all kinds of things in the tub.  He also found some artificial grapes and was enjoying pulling them off the vine.  Joseph was being very messy.   Though I had a bit of a mess to deal with, I did not kick Joseph out of the house and tell him to never return.  I love Joseph and I understand that his maturity level requires mentoring.

Thanksgiving floods my heart as I remember great leaders who mentored me, when I was a messy Christian.  I can still name the mentors who helped me to not be so messy in my walk with God: Gaylon Benton, Iverna Tompkins, Mary Ann Brown and June Evans greatly impacted my life.  They were fathers and mothers in the faith for this child.  A father, mother, or mentor doesn’t simply provide temporary insight but steady counsel.

Mentoring is more than just developing a cross-generational friendship.  It is also more than a counseling relationship.  The goal is not to just get to know another person better, but is to know Christ in a more intimate way through the blessing of walking alongside a more mature believer.

Do you have a spiritual mentor, or are you simply continuing to walk a messy Christian life?  Do you have a spiritual father or mother you can learn from?  If not, prayerfully seek for a person to fill this role for you.  Of course, you have to decide that you no longer want to live a messy life, and you want to learn the ways of God.

Are you a spiritual mentor?  Who do you know that is young in the faith that you can speak into their lives? Who is struggling in an area that God has given you victory in? Speaking from a woman’s point of view, though not all desire to be developed in the faith, I can say that many young women in today’s churches eagerly desire a mentor. Often they have difficulty finding a more mature woman willing to step into that role. Older women often feel unqualified.  What does it take to be a mentor?  Perfection? Formal training? Grandmotherhood?

No.

Being a mentor to another woman requires a heart for God, experience in life and a love for people. You don’t have to teach a book of the Bible to another woman.  It is being available to listen, pray and instruct.

Joseph watched as I removed all the stuff from the tub.  He is learning that he needs to outgrow messy living, and I am willing to help him.

Are you ready to outgrow messy Christian living?

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17

Never have I been a good water-drinker.  I am not a person who is thirsty by nature; so if not careful, I will go long periods without drinking something.  My body has known a lot of dehydration over the years. Once while watching my son play baseball on a very hot summer day, I watched the entire game without drinking anything.  By the time I got to my car, I almost passed out.  The problem was dehydrated living.

Recently, I determined to drink more water.  Determination is wonderful, but it still requires follow through, which did not happen, so I continued to suffer from dehydrated living.

One day I discovered something called an infusion pitcher.  The infusion pitcher takes plain old water and infuses it with flavors from fresh fruits and vegetables.  After filling the pitcher with water, a cylinder is filled with fruits and/or vegetables, and put into the core of the pitcher of water.  The openings in the cylinder allow the fruit to change the taste of the water. Each new pitcher offers new taste and new refreshment.  I now go looking for a drink of that water.  The difference is the core.

So many people are dehydrated in life, and some of those people are believers, God’s people.  One can get up every morning out of the same old bed, eat the same old breakfast, drive the same old route to work, do the same routine things, come home to make the same old dinner, watch the same old television and go back to the same old bed, wake up and do it again the next day.

When walking with God, it is so easy to get into a perfunctory relationship with Him. Read a chapter a day in the Bible, go to the same old church, listen to the same old pastor, sing with the same old worship team, go home and do it all over again. That is dehydrated Christian living.  We have lost the core that flavors that walk and gives meaning to “taste of the Lord and see that He is good.”

At the core must be a presence of and reliance on the Holy Spirit.  When I invite the Holy Spirit to be present with me as I read God’s word, as I worship, as I pray and I walk through life, it destroys spiritual dehydration.   It’s easy to jump right in without first inviting His presence.  When the Holy Spirit is at the core, He will open heaven, and give victory from that which sucks the life out of us.  The Holy Spirit will continuously pour into our lives “springs of living water.”  Our lives are only as effective as what is at the core.  When the Holy Spirit and His fruit are at the core, the Word comes to life, worship is powerfully intimate, and we experience an overcoming life.

I’ve said goodbye to dehydrated living!  How about you?

“For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.” – Isaiah 44:3-4

Gaylon and I just returned from a few days in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where our son Michael lives.  We try to be at special events for our grandchildren whenever possible. Madison was having field day at her school, and then would be off for half a day. It was perfect – we could watch her participate and then have her to ourselves for a few hours. The field day had a Dr. Seuss theme, and it was interesting to watch the various events.  Madison is all girl!  I remember her telling me a few years back that she did not like any sport except for ballet. That’s my girl!

One event that really caught my attention was one requiring that the kids put on large clown shoes, big glasses and strap on a long tail.  After getting dressed, they held a stick with a spinning plate, and had to walk a certain distance, turn around and come back to the starting point.  Upon their return, they would take the outfit off and give it to a classmate who would do the same routine.

The children were divided into three groups, and the idea was to see which group finished first.  It was so funny to watch two of the groups in particular, as they awkwardly tried to run in the shoes.  After each student on the team had a turn, the kids moved farther and farther from the starting point, which made their course shorter and shorter. Their race seemed easier and quicker.  Only one group was returning all the way back to the start.  That one group just kept walking obediently, not paying any attention to the fact that the others were a few steps in front of them.

To our surprise the group that won, was the group that did it the right way.  They never got rattled by the fact that others seemed to have it easier, or were way ahead in the race.   Step by step, foot by foot they just kept walking the course that was laid out before them, and they finished the race victoriously.

How easy it is to think that the devil is a few steps ahead of us, and will keep us from winning the race, or how easy it is to think others are running their race with more ease than we are.  Our focus cannot be on the race of another.  All that is required to finish our race victoriously, is to keep walking.  Step by step with God, we walk the course set before us.

As writer John King said, “The Lord has a special individualized track for each of us. I’m not running your race, and you aren’t running mine.  I won’t be judged for you, and you won’t be judged for me, or anyone else for that matter.  The Lord doesn’t measure us against others.  Winning not only means making it to heaven.  Winning means making the Father proud.  Winning means walking out our faith daily.  Winning has nothing to do with how we measure up against others, it means how well we measured up against God’s plan for us.”

Just put your shoes on and run!

“Let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Tony Evans, pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, is a great expositor of the Word of God. He is an excellent preacher.

Evans tells of being on an elevator in a high-rise building.  He said he’d never been particularly comfortable on such elevators.  There was something about riding up and down in a little box several hundred feet off the ground that has never sat well with him.  He worried that something would go wrong.

One day it did.  The car in which he was riding got stuck in between floors way up in the higher floors. He noted that some of the people in the car became frantic.  They began to beat on the door hoping to get someone’s attention.  Others began to yell in the hopes that their voices would get someone on the surrounding floors to come to the aid.  But nobody heard their noise or their cries.

Then Evans quietly made his way to the front of the car, opened a little door in the wall and pulled out a telephone. Immediately he was connected with someone on the outside.  He didn’t need to beat on the wall to get their attention. He didn’t need to speak loudly in the phone to receive their help.  He could have whispered and they would have heard him.

Evans said, “In this world, we’re going to get “stuck” in places we aren’t comfortable with.  Some people begin to beat against the walls, others cry out in dismay.  But the person who trusts in the power of confident prayer knows there’s someone on the other end who hears their call and comes to their aid.”

We can often find ourselves stuck in circumstances that are scary and out of our control. Before you panic, pick up the phone for assistance.

“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!  What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,  All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?  We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.  Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6

Rush hour traffic in Birmingham is anything but a rush!  It moves at a snail’s pace, especially driving into our suburb of Helena.

Helena is a little community away from the hustle and bustle of metro life.  It’s safe, quiet and friendly.   The biggest issue with Helena is traffic flow early in the morning and late in the afternoon. There are just a couple of roads leading into our fair city, and none of those are four lanes.  When one gets off the interstate to drive the fives miles into Helena, it can take a while.

Often people are feeding in from side roads trying to get onto the main road, and it’s hit and miss whether a person will be nice enough to let you slip into the flow of traffic.  I try my best, when possible, to help someone on a side road merge into the main flow. After they pull in front of me, there’s such a good feeling when they throw their hand up in the air saying, “Thank you so much!”  That just feels good!

Recently, I was driving in heavy traffic, and I waved a car into the flow.  The driver merged in front of me, but there was no throwing up the hand to say thanks, no smile, just v-room and on his way!  He did not even bother to thank me.  He just wanted to take what I gave, and be on his merry way!

It is so easy to ride down the road of life, never cultivating a heart of thanksgiving.  If you don’t believe that, take fifteen minutes to read the Monday morning posts on Facebook! Posts like – “It’s Monday, and I have to go to work. UGH!”

It is easy to murmur, complain, or compare ourselves to others when things don’t go our way.  A spirit of ungratefulness can cause us to miss out on receiving what God wants to give us. That’s why we need to make thanksgiving a way of life.

What would happen if on Monday morning, we dared to post – “Thank you, Lord, that you have provided me a job!”  Or, “Monday is the day the Lord has made, and I rejoice in it!”

I propose a challenge.  All through the day and week, when we want to complain, let’s stop and give thanks to the Lord.  Like those people who throw up a hand to say, “Thanks, for letting me in the line of traffic,” let’s throw up a hand to say, “Thank you, Lord!”  And, yes, I mean literally wave a hand at God and say, “Thank you!”

Gratitude is a choice. Will you be a part of the thank you wave?

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.   Psalm 118:1

Our grandson Tucker lives in North Carolina, and he is definitely a “full-of-life” kind of boy.  Last weekend, we went to visit Sarah and Tucker. Upon arrival we found a very sick little boy.  Normally when we arrive, Tucker runs to us, with a huge smile and arms outstretched for a hug. Not that day!

As we entered the house, Tucker was right up next to his mom where he had been all day.  He was running a fever and was obviously sick.  We knelt down to talk to him, and all he would say through tears was, “Mommy, hold me!  Mommy, hold me!”  We tried to talk with him, but he wasn’t interested in our words.  Again he said, “Mommy, hold me!”  It didn’t take long to realize that Tucker did not need our words; he needed comfort for his pain.  He just needed a loving embrace.

By nature many of us are “fixers.”  We think we have to say just the right thing, or we need words that sound spiritual, or words to cause a painful situation make sense.  We want to make everything okay.  Sometimes we need to realize that people just need a hug.  They just need the comfort of our presence.

This week we will all encounter people in pain.  There will pain of loss, pain of divorce, pain of depression, pain of disappointment, pain of loneliness, pain of fear and many other kinds of pain. We can’t always fix it.  We certainly can’t always have just the right words to bring understanding, but we do have the gift of a hug.

A hug could be the exact thing needed by someone whose path you cross today. Without even knowing it, you could be changing the life of that person.  They could be having the worst day possible, or facing painful situations for which you will not have the right words.  You can possibly change the day, the week, the month or the life of another person simply by giving a hug.

Sometimes, like Tucker, people are just saying, “I just want someone to hold me, to give me the ministry of their presence.”

What’s the best part about it?  Hugs are free and they can be given anytime.

Who will you hug today?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted …” – Ephesians 4:32a

We have moved several times over the course of forty-three years of marriage. While living in Florida, we lived temporarily in someone’s vacant, furnished home while our home was being built. This required that most of our belongings stay in storage for several months – several months in a storage shed in sunny, HOT Florida.

Finally, the day arrived to move into our home.  As I began unpacking boxes, I got to my couch cushions. They had been pressed up against something and were pushed inward, and would not bounce back. Before that, they were always able to bounce back when pressure was applied.  They had become depressed because of months of being pressured.  As a result, they lost their beauty and usefulness.

That is a description of depression.  Often in life we bounce back from all kinds of pressures and situations.  Then, one day we can’t seem to bounce back, and one day turns into many days.  We just can’t seem to bounce back.  Perhaps we lose that glimmer in our eye, or our contagious laughter.

Sometimes it is hard to confess that we are suffering from the pain of depression. Depression is one of the touchy subjects of the church.  Many proclaim it is a spirit or a demon, and the person needs a laying-on-hands deliverance.  While that might be true sometimes, most often it is not!

I think that depression can be categorized in two basic ways: clinical depression and situational depression. I have asked a friend, who is a Christian counselor, to write a follow-up blog, with some clarification about clinical depression.  That will posted a few months down the line.  Clinical depression is a medical condition requiring professional help with a plan of action to wellness, just as illnesses of the body require a doctor.

There is no way one can exhaustively cover this subject in a blog.  I shall endeavor to give basic info about situational depression and ways to win the victory.

Some people suffer from situational depression.  Situational depression can come from divorce, death, financial problems, abuse, unfaithfulness of a spouse, health issues, infertility, wayward children or other life circumstances.

I will use the death of a loved one as an example.  I personally suffered situational depression after losing our son Bryan. The experience took my breath away at times, caused many sleepless nights and caused me to experience a pall of heaviness that I could not shake. The interesting thing is that I experienced that for a few months after Bryan’s death, and then it strongly revisited as the year 2014 began.  Situational depression can come upon us when pain or disappointment is overwhelming.

There I said it! Barbara Benton has suffered bouts of depression.  I am still a Spirit-filled, bible-believing, God-loving and song-singing child of God!  That statement will shock some, and cause others to look at me a bit differently.  It’s okay.  I am all about helping people understand that they don’t have to be overcome by life, but can be an overcomer in life.

What have I learned through these times?

1. God is not mad at a depressed person.  He wants to comfort the heart and bring peace.
2. Stay in His Word, not because we must read daily or we are bad Christians, but because much strength comes as the Word of truth penetrates the dark night of the soul.  Walk around reading the Psalms aloud. Insert your name as you read. For example: The Lord is Barbara Benton’s shepherd.  He will cause ME to lie down in green pastures of rest. He will do that because “I” am His child.
3. Press through the “I don’t feel like it” emotion.  The Word of God is true, firm and unchanging.
4. Have faith in God. Trust in the darkness what you have learned in the light.  It WILL bring you through. Trust what God says rather than your feelings. Feelings can be deceptive.
5. Talk with a close friend or family member who can be trusted, and who will pray with/for you.  The devil would love for you to keep it a secret.  I went through a period of not wanting others to know how much I was suffering. Make regular prayer appointments with those people.  Prayer is essential, and the power of what it can do is immeasurable.
6. Exercise.  Don’t hole up in your home.  Staying in all by myself was a great temptation.
7. Speak to a Christian counselor, if needed.  That person can help to put things in perspective.

It is impossible to cover all that the Bible says about depression, sorrow and hopelessness, so I will only share a bit.

1. David was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, his heart was desolate, and his tears fell all night
2. Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, and Elijah expressed feelings of rejection, loneliness, self-pity, hopelessness, overwhelming grief, and wish they had not been born.  It seems they are expressing more than temporary sadness, but symptoms of depression.
3. After the death of her husband and sons, Naomi asked that her name be changed to “Mara” which means bitterness.
4. In Corinthians 2, Paul had symptoms of depression: his flesh had no rest, he was troubled on all sides, he was cast down, he had fears within, and he despaired of life.
5. Hannah had many of the symptoms of depression, and her spiritual leader instantly, and incorrectly, accused her of a spiritual problem.

God brought each of them through their times of despondency.  God saw where each was emotionally. God cared. God brought them through.  God wants to do that for you! God does want us to live life abundantly, which is His ordained plan for the believer.

God is our hope in the midst of depression.  One of the great truths of the Bible is that God is with us when we are in trouble, including depression.  The message is clear. When depression hits, fix your eyes on God, His power, and His love for you.  This is what God has declared:

• The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
• The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
• So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. (John 14:16)
• Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

What do I want you to take away from this blog?   You are not a horrible Christian if you have been through, or you are going through depression.  God does not love you any less. I also want you to know that I can testify to this: “He has turned my mourning into dancing. He has put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.”  I want to you know that “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Though we go through dark times, God will bring us back into a time of rejoicing. Indeed, He will! When you are troubled and depressed, there is hope in God. I can testify to that!

This week in the greater Birmingham area, we were on alert for bad storms with possible flooding overnight.  Sure enough, we were awakened several times with loud claps of thunder.  Twice during the night, our weather alarm sounded, requiring us to get up and pay attention to the warning.  The warning called for our area to be on alert because of flash flooding.  We were tired and annoyed because there was no problem where we live.  We did not need to hear the alarm.  We did not want to be awakened from our sleep by an alarm.

As I watched the early news this morning, there were many who had to abandon their homes in the middle of the night.  Many had to be rescued by boat.  They needed the alarm.  Their lives depended on the alarm.  I was more concerned about my own comfortable place than for those who needed the alarm.

Sometimes when we hear preaching/teaching that sounds the alarm for the lost, it’s easy to say, “I don’t need that.  I am safe.”  It’s easy to wish the alarm would go away, because we are safe.  However, the alarm is for those who do need it.

• Noah’s message from the steps going up to the ark was not, “Something good is going to happen to you!”
• Amos did not confront the high priest of Israel proclaiming, “Confession is possession!”
• Jeremiah was not put into the pit for preaching, “I’m okay, you’re okay.”
• Daniel was not thrown into the lion’s den for telling people, “Positive thinking will move mountains!”
• John the Baptist did not preach in the wilderness and have his head chopped off because he preached, “Smile! God loves you!”

Instead what was the message of all these men of God? Their message can be simply put in one word, REPENT!

I love to hear a message on “I know the plans I have for you, and it’s good.”  I love a message on “Speak to the mountain and it will move.”  There is a time and place for these messages, but it is still essential to sound the alarm, to preach the truth of the Gospel.

Jesus sounded the alarm.  As a matter of fact Jesus was clear in several passages of scripture including Luke 13:1-5,  “About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple.  “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered?  Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem?  No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.”

I am thankful for the alarm that caught my attention and then let me see that God made a way for me.  “God so loved the world He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.”  – John 3:16   

Praise God for His grace and mercy.  I am so thankful that someone sounded the alarm and I heard it.  What joy that I can now sing:

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

Gaylon Benton and I were married on Saturday evening, June 26, 1971.  We will soon celebrate forty-three years of marriage. Through both good times, bad times, hard times and joyous times, we have truly learned who each other is.  I know a lot about my husband!  My husband knows a lot about me!

These are a few of the things that I know Gaylon loves:

• Alabama football
• Key lime pie
• His family
• Khaki pants
• Alabama football
• Bread
• Tools
• Strawberries
• Assisting others
• Alabama football
• Vanilla ice cream
• A sloppy, wet kiss

I could add plenty more of what Gaylon loves.  I have also learned the things he hates and that is just as important.

These are a few of the things that I know Gaylon hates:

• Bread that is too crispy
• Alabama losing a game
• Yard work (I second that!)
• Too much cover on the bed
• Alabama losing a game
• Strife
• Tools not being put away properly
• Beets
• Death
• Green beans
• Chocolate ice cream (what is his problem)
• A perfunctory, unemotional kiss
• Alabama losing a game

Though I’ve made light of my husband’s loves and hates, the fact is that it is important for me to know the desires of the one I love.  I don’t serve him green beans.  I try not to pull the heavy comforter up on his side of the bed.  I am sensitive to his “pain” when Alabama loses a game.  I try to watch the bread closely so it’s just like he likes it.  I try to kiss just right!  My desire is to please him.  I love to honor him.  I love to put a smile on his face.

There is so much talk about the love of God, and worship, and Bible study, and the goodness of God, and on and on.  Rightfully so!  God is good.  God is love.  Have we given just as much consideration to the things that God says he hates?   At times it seems, we in the church have failed to remind this generation that while God is love, He also has the capacity to hate.

Proverbs chapter six gives us a list of some things God hates:

“These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

• A proud look
• A lying tongue
• Hands that shed innocent blood
• A heart that devises wicked plans
• Feet that are swift in running to evil
• A false witness who speaks lies
• And one who sows discord among brethren”

Gaylon loves me whether the bread is too brown or just right.  Gaylon loves me even when I pull the comforter up during the night, and he gets too hot.  Gaylon loves me when there is no vanilla ice cream in the house.  I never doubt that his love for me is eternal, but our relationship has matured.  I want to please the one I love.  It brings me great joy to bring a smile to his face.

It’s time for God’s people to mature beyond just knowing only what God loves. There are things God hates, but He does not hate YOU!  He did make it a point to list in His word what He does hate.  It is my joy to avoid what my Beloved hates.

Lord, I want to love what you love, and hate what you hate.

SELAH