My grandmother was a woman who was gripped by fear, and it literally controlled her life.   Granny was afraid to stay alone at night, so her mother, my great grandmother, would walk next door each night carrying her pillow and blanket to stay with Granny.  After my great grandmother passed away, Granny was fearful of staying alone.  Since we lived a block away, she asked my parents to let me stay with her at night.  So, every night for many months, I would walk through the field to my grandmother’s house so she would not be alone.

Interesting things happened while staying with Granny at night.  She had a shotgun style house, which means if you walked in the front door, you could see from the front door to the back door.   The front room was the living room, and the fourth room was the kitchen. Between those two rooms were two bedrooms.

My grandmother made me sleep in the room with her. Since the house was shotgun style, there were two doors to the room.  At night, Granny would close those two doors, and triple bolt them with locks my uncle had installed for her. The room had two windows. My grandmother would close the windows, lock the windows and brace them with a board so they could not be raised.  She was petrified that someone would try to break-in.   Each night, a “slop” jar was placed in the room in case one of us needed to use the potty.   No one could leave the room during the night.  Think how a hot southern, summer night with no air and a stinky potty was!

Every time Granny would hear the slightest sound, she would awaken me to hear the sound.  She would then tell me that someone was outside trying to get in, and we had to sit on the side of the bed until we no longer heard the noise.  She would, at times, shout out, “I’m going to get my gun.”  So there I sat, as a ten-year-old child petrified.

If a thunderstorm came up during the night, my grandmother would awaken me, make me get out of bed and get fully dressed.  She said we had to be ready in case lightning struck the house. So, this sleepy child would get dressed and sit in fear, hoping the storm would pass by without killing us.

One last story from life with Granny.  When I would get to her house at night, she would tell me I was filthy, even though I had taken a bath before leaving home.  She had me strip naked, get in her tub, and she would proceed to wash me from head to toe, using a stiff scrub brush.  She often told me I was not clean.  So for years, I walked around with my skin half scrubbed off, fearing I was an unclean person.

Before you think badly of Granny, let me say that Granny was a sweet person.  Her issue was that she was consumed by fear, and it paralyzed her from having a normal emotional life.

For many years, even into my married years, I was paralyzed by fear.  I was afraid of being alone when my husband was gone, petrified of thunderstorms and obsessed with cleanliness.  My grandmother lived in a house of fear, and built one for me.

There came a point in my walk with God, that He revealed to me that I was paralyzed by fear.  I was afraid of dying at a young age, afraid of storms, afraid of an attack, afraid of not having enough money, afraid of speaking in front of others – afraid, afraid, afraid!

I was reading the scripture in Matthew chapter 6 where Jesus said, “Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest because your heavenly Father feeds (takes care of) them.”   I had to chuckle at that verse.  Have you ever seen a bird having a nervous breakdown?  They don’t worry because they trust God to provide. That same passage of scripture lets us know that God thinks we are far more valuable to Him than the birds.  In other words, I am the apple of God’s eye, and He can be trusted to take care of me in every situation.

What is the answer for paralyzing fear?   “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

It’s been said, “Why worry when you can pray?”  What a great question!  When you are afraid, you have choices.  You can lie in bed and agonize, you can try to work out your problems in your own power … or you can pray.  I have found that option number three brings such peace and courage to my soul.

What fear do you need to be free of today?  Child of God, it’s time to be free.  Second Timothy 1:7 says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.”  My prayer for you today is that you will be released from the house of fear, with its bolted doors. It has held you captive far too long.  Whatever fear you are facing, God is greater.  Put your trust in the one who is greater.

There are occasions that Satan tries to beckon me to once again take up residency in the house of fear.  No thank you! I don’t live there anymore because the Lord Most High is now my dwelling place.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

As we pulled out of the parking lot of the strip mall, Gaylon and I were excited to head to the celebration of Tucker’s second birthday.  We had barely gone a block, when my car stalled right in the middle of the road.  Several warning lights came on, and the car choked when I tried to start it again.  My husband got into the driver’s seat and was able to drive the car, but at a snail’s pace.

Eventually Gaylon figured out what the problem was, but wanted to get the car back to Alabama to have it fixed. That would be another forty-eight hours.  We discovered that if we started off driving very slowly, and never went too fast, the car could be driven.

As we drove the hilly roads of North Carolina, we were much slower than other cars.  People blew their horns, passed us angrily and we were even given the middle finger of fellowship.  Finally, we decided to drive with our flashing lights on until we could build up speed, and until we could correct the situation. Our warning lights were trying to say, “There is more going on here than meets your eye.”  People jumped to conclusions that we didn’t know how to drive, or two old people on the road or … whatever.  How quickly people judged us without knowing all the details.

How many times do we find ourselves jumping to conclusions about others without knowing all the details?  We often make judgments based on how things appear, yet there is a very good chance that there are details we do not know.

There is no way that we can know the motives of another, nor can we know all the circumstances surrounding things we see.  More often than not, what we think we know, we really don’t.  As we walk through life with others, before we “go-off” on someone, blowing our horns angrily, and spewing our opinions, let’s remember that only God is all-knowing.  Contrary to what we might think, jumping to conclusions is not a beneficial form of exercise.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:18

Gone at the age of 36.   He was in the prime of his life and about to become a father for the first time, but never got to meet his son.  The first few months after the death of our son Bryan were brutal.  There is no way to accurately describe the emotions and pain.

Like it or not, after a loved one dies, we have to keep moving.  I don’t mean that we will forget the person or the pain – trust me, you wish you could lose the sickening pain, but we have to keep living.  Part of that living is taking care of business.  After a death, one has to immediately be concerned about business matters.  It’s just part of the process.  As a mother, while I grieved deeply for my son, my attention was more drawn to his wife and unborn child.  We wanted to do everything we possibly could to help them with life, which meant lots of prayer, and assisting any way possible.

Bryan and Sarah had purchased a boat the summer before his home-going, and it needed to be sold.  People worked together to clean up the boat and get it ready for sale, and then to list it in several places.  I thought, surely because we serve God, it will sell by tomorrow afternoon. Not!  So we waited, and waited, and then guess what, we waited!

Sarah was having a baby shower in Virginia, and Gaylon and I were to attend.  As time grew a little closer, my husband realized he had a schedule conflict.   Gaylon was to perform a wedding for someone who worked with the company where he is chaplain. There was no way to change the wedding, and no way for Gaylon to accompany me to Virginia.  With tears streaming, I asked God, “Can’t you do something about this? Where are you during this pain? Can’t you keep these plans from getting so messed up?”  End of story.

That is the true story … but wait … let’s get the rest of the story.

That spring weekend, I drove to the shower, and Gaylon stayed behind to officiate the wedding.  While at the rehearsal, my husband was talking with someone, and they mentioned that they were looking for a boat.  Gaylon began to tell them the story of Bryan, and the boat that Sarah needed to sell – a boat that was five-hundred miles away.   As they continued talking, the person stated they wanted to buy the boat.

Gaylon called to tell me the good news, and this “faith-filled” woman of God said, “That man is not going to drive to North Carolina to get a boat that he has never laid eyes on.  I will believe it when I see it.”  (Just call me doubting Thomasina!)  In less than a month, the boat was sold and on its way from North Carolina to Alabama.

My problem was that I immediately put “THE END” on the story of an unsold boat and messed up plans.   I could not see God working in my messed up plans, but God was positioning us to receive the miraculous selling of a boat.  God was still writing the story.

God is the author of “the rest of the story.”  God has the wonderful ability of messing up our plans to position us for a divine answer.  Perhaps you are asking, “Where is God?”  I asked the same question.  The answer for me was, “I am at a wedding in Alabama working on your behalf.”

When you think your plans are messed up, it might be that God messed them up so He could write the last chapter.   Just wait … the rest of the story is being written, and it will be a much better “THE END” than the way you would write it.

“Since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!” – Isaiah 64:4

We frequently hear that God has a beautiful plan for our lives.  Once we become aware of that, we are often not prepared for the “in-between.” “In-between” is the time span from when I believe and receive God’s promises for my life, and the time when I see it come to fruition.  There are many types of hindrances that come “in-between,” such as difficult family members, financial woes, unexpected heartache or difficulties at work. Most battles are lost in “in-between.”  Too often people give up “in-between.”

The men and women of God in scripture were victorious because they kept believing God, and walking with God, even through the “in-between.”  A few examples:

1. Noah kept building the ark for years and years, though he had no converts, and plenty of jeers and sneers.  He just kept building while “in-between.”
2. Joseph had to deal with pits, Potiphar’s wife and prison before receiving the promise.  He just kept trusting God’s word “in-between.”
3. Paul received a promise that he would go to Rome.  Before he arrived in Rome, he faced imprisonment, shipwreck and waylay on a strange island.  Paul just kept serving faithfully “in-between.”
4. Mary received the promise that she would birth something of the Holy Spirit. “In-between” there were questions from people, Joseph who wanted to break off their relationship and a trip on a donkey only to give birth in a stable.   Mary willingly endured “in-between” so God could birth something through her.

“In-between” can be difficult, and might cause us to wonder if God will do anything at all.  It is so easy to quit “in-between.”  Don’t quit, and don’t give up!  God is preparing every step for victory over each hindrance that you find “in-between.”   You can have full confidence in God.

I’ve had a lot of “in-between” time, but I refuse to quit.  Like the Psalmist, I declare:

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:13-14

Joseph, our two-year-old grandson is fascinated with our master bedroom and master bath area. None of us knows why, but the boy gravitates to that area every time he is at my house.

One day while visiting, Joseph left the living room, and I did not hear him for a bit.  I walked down the hall to locate Joseph, and there he was in the master bathroom.  As I looked in the tub, I could see that Joseph had thrown all kinds of things in the tub.  He also found some artificial grapes and was enjoying pulling them off the vine.  Joseph was being very messy.   Though I had a bit of a mess to deal with, I did not kick Joseph out of the house and tell him to never return.  I love Joseph and I understand that his maturity level requires mentoring.

Thanksgiving floods my heart as I remember great leaders who mentored me, when I was a messy Christian.  I can still name the mentors who helped me to not be so messy in my walk with God: Gaylon Benton, Iverna Tompkins, Mary Ann Brown and June Evans greatly impacted my life.  They were fathers and mothers in the faith for this child.  A father, mother, or mentor doesn’t simply provide temporary insight but steady counsel.

Mentoring is more than just developing a cross-generational friendship.  It is also more than a counseling relationship.  The goal is not to just get to know another person better, but is to know Christ in a more intimate way through the blessing of walking alongside a more mature believer.

Do you have a spiritual mentor, or are you simply continuing to walk a messy Christian life?  Do you have a spiritual father or mother you can learn from?  If not, prayerfully seek for a person to fill this role for you.  Of course, you have to decide that you no longer want to live a messy life, and you want to learn the ways of God.

Are you a spiritual mentor?  Who do you know that is young in the faith that you can speak into their lives? Who is struggling in an area that God has given you victory in? Speaking from a woman’s point of view, though not all desire to be developed in the faith, I can say that many young women in today’s churches eagerly desire a mentor. Often they have difficulty finding a more mature woman willing to step into that role. Older women often feel unqualified.  What does it take to be a mentor?  Perfection? Formal training? Grandmotherhood?

No.

Being a mentor to another woman requires a heart for God, experience in life and a love for people. You don’t have to teach a book of the Bible to another woman.  It is being available to listen, pray and instruct.

Joseph watched as I removed all the stuff from the tub.  He is learning that he needs to outgrow messy living, and I am willing to help him.

Are you ready to outgrow messy Christian living?

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17

Never have I been a good water-drinker.  I am not a person who is thirsty by nature; so if not careful, I will go long periods without drinking something.  My body has known a lot of dehydration over the years. Once while watching my son play baseball on a very hot summer day, I watched the entire game without drinking anything.  By the time I got to my car, I almost passed out.  The problem was dehydrated living.

Recently, I determined to drink more water.  Determination is wonderful, but it still requires follow through, which did not happen, so I continued to suffer from dehydrated living.

One day I discovered something called an infusion pitcher.  The infusion pitcher takes plain old water and infuses it with flavors from fresh fruits and vegetables.  After filling the pitcher with water, a cylinder is filled with fruits and/or vegetables, and put into the core of the pitcher of water.  The openings in the cylinder allow the fruit to change the taste of the water. Each new pitcher offers new taste and new refreshment.  I now go looking for a drink of that water.  The difference is the core.

So many people are dehydrated in life, and some of those people are believers, God’s people.  One can get up every morning out of the same old bed, eat the same old breakfast, drive the same old route to work, do the same routine things, come home to make the same old dinner, watch the same old television and go back to the same old bed, wake up and do it again the next day.

When walking with God, it is so easy to get into a perfunctory relationship with Him. Read a chapter a day in the Bible, go to the same old church, listen to the same old pastor, sing with the same old worship team, go home and do it all over again. That is dehydrated Christian living.  We have lost the core that flavors that walk and gives meaning to “taste of the Lord and see that He is good.”

At the core must be a presence of and reliance on the Holy Spirit.  When I invite the Holy Spirit to be present with me as I read God’s word, as I worship, as I pray and I walk through life, it destroys spiritual dehydration.   It’s easy to jump right in without first inviting His presence.  When the Holy Spirit is at the core, He will open heaven, and give victory from that which sucks the life out of us.  The Holy Spirit will continuously pour into our lives “springs of living water.”  Our lives are only as effective as what is at the core.  When the Holy Spirit and His fruit are at the core, the Word comes to life, worship is powerfully intimate, and we experience an overcoming life.

I’ve said goodbye to dehydrated living!  How about you?

“For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.” – Isaiah 44:3-4

Gaylon and I just returned from a few days in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where our son Michael lives.  We try to be at special events for our grandchildren whenever possible. Madison was having field day at her school, and then would be off for half a day. It was perfect – we could watch her participate and then have her to ourselves for a few hours. The field day had a Dr. Seuss theme, and it was interesting to watch the various events.  Madison is all girl!  I remember her telling me a few years back that she did not like any sport except for ballet. That’s my girl!

One event that really caught my attention was one requiring that the kids put on large clown shoes, big glasses and strap on a long tail.  After getting dressed, they held a stick with a spinning plate, and had to walk a certain distance, turn around and come back to the starting point.  Upon their return, they would take the outfit off and give it to a classmate who would do the same routine.

The children were divided into three groups, and the idea was to see which group finished first.  It was so funny to watch two of the groups in particular, as they awkwardly tried to run in the shoes.  After each student on the team had a turn, the kids moved farther and farther from the starting point, which made their course shorter and shorter. Their race seemed easier and quicker.  Only one group was returning all the way back to the start.  That one group just kept walking obediently, not paying any attention to the fact that the others were a few steps in front of them.

To our surprise the group that won, was the group that did it the right way.  They never got rattled by the fact that others seemed to have it easier, or were way ahead in the race.   Step by step, foot by foot they just kept walking the course that was laid out before them, and they finished the race victoriously.

How easy it is to think that the devil is a few steps ahead of us, and will keep us from winning the race, or how easy it is to think others are running their race with more ease than we are.  Our focus cannot be on the race of another.  All that is required to finish our race victoriously, is to keep walking.  Step by step with God, we walk the course set before us.

As writer John King said, “The Lord has a special individualized track for each of us. I’m not running your race, and you aren’t running mine.  I won’t be judged for you, and you won’t be judged for me, or anyone else for that matter.  The Lord doesn’t measure us against others.  Winning not only means making it to heaven.  Winning means making the Father proud.  Winning means walking out our faith daily.  Winning has nothing to do with how we measure up against others, it means how well we measured up against God’s plan for us.”

Just put your shoes on and run!

“Let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Tony Evans, pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, is a great expositor of the Word of God. He is an excellent preacher.

Evans tells of being on an elevator in a high-rise building.  He said he’d never been particularly comfortable on such elevators.  There was something about riding up and down in a little box several hundred feet off the ground that has never sat well with him.  He worried that something would go wrong.

One day it did.  The car in which he was riding got stuck in between floors way up in the higher floors. He noted that some of the people in the car became frantic.  They began to beat on the door hoping to get someone’s attention.  Others began to yell in the hopes that their voices would get someone on the surrounding floors to come to the aid.  But nobody heard their noise or their cries.

Then Evans quietly made his way to the front of the car, opened a little door in the wall and pulled out a telephone. Immediately he was connected with someone on the outside.  He didn’t need to beat on the wall to get their attention. He didn’t need to speak loudly in the phone to receive their help.  He could have whispered and they would have heard him.

Evans said, “In this world, we’re going to get “stuck” in places we aren’t comfortable with.  Some people begin to beat against the walls, others cry out in dismay.  But the person who trusts in the power of confident prayer knows there’s someone on the other end who hears their call and comes to their aid.”

We can often find ourselves stuck in circumstances that are scary and out of our control. Before you panic, pick up the phone for assistance.

“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!  What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,  All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?  We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.  Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6

Rush hour traffic in Birmingham is anything but a rush!  It moves at a snail’s pace, especially driving into our suburb of Helena.

Helena is a little community away from the hustle and bustle of metro life.  It’s safe, quiet and friendly.   The biggest issue with Helena is traffic flow early in the morning and late in the afternoon. There are just a couple of roads leading into our fair city, and none of those are four lanes.  When one gets off the interstate to drive the fives miles into Helena, it can take a while.

Often people are feeding in from side roads trying to get onto the main road, and it’s hit and miss whether a person will be nice enough to let you slip into the flow of traffic.  I try my best, when possible, to help someone on a side road merge into the main flow. After they pull in front of me, there’s such a good feeling when they throw their hand up in the air saying, “Thank you so much!”  That just feels good!

Recently, I was driving in heavy traffic, and I waved a car into the flow.  The driver merged in front of me, but there was no throwing up the hand to say thanks, no smile, just v-room and on his way!  He did not even bother to thank me.  He just wanted to take what I gave, and be on his merry way!

It is so easy to ride down the road of life, never cultivating a heart of thanksgiving.  If you don’t believe that, take fifteen minutes to read the Monday morning posts on Facebook! Posts like – “It’s Monday, and I have to go to work. UGH!”

It is easy to murmur, complain, or compare ourselves to others when things don’t go our way.  A spirit of ungratefulness can cause us to miss out on receiving what God wants to give us. That’s why we need to make thanksgiving a way of life.

What would happen if on Monday morning, we dared to post – “Thank you, Lord, that you have provided me a job!”  Or, “Monday is the day the Lord has made, and I rejoice in it!”

I propose a challenge.  All through the day and week, when we want to complain, let’s stop and give thanks to the Lord.  Like those people who throw up a hand to say, “Thanks, for letting me in the line of traffic,” let’s throw up a hand to say, “Thank you, Lord!”  And, yes, I mean literally wave a hand at God and say, “Thank you!”

Gratitude is a choice. Will you be a part of the thank you wave?

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.   Psalm 118:1

Our grandson Tucker lives in North Carolina, and he is definitely a “full-of-life” kind of boy.  Last weekend, we went to visit Sarah and Tucker. Upon arrival we found a very sick little boy.  Normally when we arrive, Tucker runs to us, with a huge smile and arms outstretched for a hug. Not that day!

As we entered the house, Tucker was right up next to his mom where he had been all day.  He was running a fever and was obviously sick.  We knelt down to talk to him, and all he would say through tears was, “Mommy, hold me!  Mommy, hold me!”  We tried to talk with him, but he wasn’t interested in our words.  Again he said, “Mommy, hold me!”  It didn’t take long to realize that Tucker did not need our words; he needed comfort for his pain.  He just needed a loving embrace.

By nature many of us are “fixers.”  We think we have to say just the right thing, or we need words that sound spiritual, or words to cause a painful situation make sense.  We want to make everything okay.  Sometimes we need to realize that people just need a hug.  They just need the comfort of our presence.

This week we will all encounter people in pain.  There will pain of loss, pain of divorce, pain of depression, pain of disappointment, pain of loneliness, pain of fear and many other kinds of pain. We can’t always fix it.  We certainly can’t always have just the right words to bring understanding, but we do have the gift of a hug.

A hug could be the exact thing needed by someone whose path you cross today. Without even knowing it, you could be changing the life of that person.  They could be having the worst day possible, or facing painful situations for which you will not have the right words.  You can possibly change the day, the week, the month or the life of another person simply by giving a hug.

Sometimes, like Tucker, people are just saying, “I just want someone to hold me, to give me the ministry of their presence.”

What’s the best part about it?  Hugs are free and they can be given anytime.

Who will you hug today?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted …” – Ephesians 4:32a