For years, two of my aunts stopped speaking to one another. I do not know exactly what the issue was, but I was sitting in the living room, as my mother and one of her sisters talked. Aunt “Sue” was telling my mom that while visiting their mother earlier, Aunt “Sally” came by the house. As soon as Aunt “Sally” realized Aunt “Sue” was there, she sped off in her car and refused to come inside.

My mom never told me the whole story, but I knew enough to know that it was not a big incident that caused this division. It was a case of harsh words because of a disagreement. Disagreement had divided the family.

America is in an election such as we have never seen. There are enough lies, exaggerations and scandals to last a lifetime. We are a very divided country. We seem divided along gender, racial, and party lines.

Yet, for me the most troubling division is that which has risen in the Body of Christ. It does not take long to read social media, internet articles, and periodicals to see just how divided we have become. There are competing prophets telling us who is to be elected and/or who is of the devil. Christians loudly declare that you cannot be a Christian and vote for him; you cannot be a Christian and vote for her. Insults are hurled a mile a minute. One woman deleted me from social media because I did not support her candidate. Before deleting me from her life, she made sure to let me know I was not a woman of God.

One of the jobs of Satan is to divide the church. Yes, we have always had some division, but the divide is so much deeper now. The enemy did not just get a foothold in the door; it seems he has almost gotten his whole body in the door.

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” – Galatians 5:19-21

As we look at the above list, most of us who try to live by biblical truth, would never think of getting drunk, being sexually immoral, playing with sorcery and throwing wild parties. (I said MOST of us!)  Yet, God took the time to add to that list: hostility, outbursts of anger, and division.

The enemy must be smiling, because he thinks he is fulfilling scripture, “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Mark 3:25.    The New Living Translation says it profoundly, “Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart.”

It is time to stop the angry words towards each other. It’s time to stop finger-pointing and speaking evil against one another.  The wounding has to stop. Four weeks from today, we will have a president-elect. In four weeks, many will be disappointed, and many will be jubilant. The question is, “In four weeks, what kind of Church will we have?”  I hope and pray that we will have a Church that is not strife-filled. Proverbs 6:16 tells us that God hates strife.

While many of us have been praying for repentance in this nation, it is time to repent for letting down our guards and allowing such ugliness to develop between us. “If my people …”

Four weeks from today, I still plan to serve God. Four weeks from today, I still plan to evangelize. Four weeks from today, I still plan to help those who are in the midst of life’s pain. Four weeks from today, I still plan to love God’s people. Four weeks from today, I still plan to have faith in God. Four weeks from today, I still plan to have kind words coming from my mouth. Four weeks from today, I still plan to pray for a move of God in the United States of America.

What will you be doing four weeks from today?

“I am so bored, Lord.”  This was my thought as I sat in a small group in a coffee shop.

My church offers many, many small groups. Often, I teach groups, but when I do not, I attend groups. It is another way for me to get acquainted with other women from my church. It also allows me to be in an environment where it is iron sharpening iron. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17). We need other people to help sharpen our walk with God. Be aware though – that might cause a few sparks to fly. Yet, we all need people to help us grow in Christ.

As I sat in that first small group meeting on a Saturday morning, there were more than twenty women. I thought to myself, “This is going to be a great group!”  We had all spent twenty dollars on a book that looked interesting and helpful. By the time I finished sitting through the first meeting, I drove home thinking, “I am not going back to this. I am so bored. I am a busy woman. This is not an effective use of my time.” 

When the next Saturday rolled around, I kept feeling the nudge of Holy Spirit to go back to the group. “Lord, please! I do not want to go.”  Yet, I knew I was to go.  It was even harder to sit through the second group meeting, and I once again vowed that I was not going back. The Lord and I had this conversation weekly over the next several weeks.

One day as I was complaining to the Lord. I mean praying! I sensed God say to me, “Stop complaining. I do not have you there for You, but for someone else.”

I finished all twelve weeks of the group except for weekends when I was traveling for ministry. Over those twelve weeks, the attendance of the group steadily declined. When the last weekend of the group came, only four people were in attendance. I still had no clue why I was there.

The group leader was a young woman in her twenties. Her parting comments came with tears. She explained that she had never stepped out and done anything for God. She was afraid to lead the group because she thought no one would come, and no one would want to hear what she said. With a choke in her voice, she thanked us for our attendance. “Ellen” (not her name) said that she now had confidence that she could step out and do something for the Kingdom of God.

Instantly, I understood why I was there. I was there for Ellen.

Encouragement is something we all need to help us stay motivated, loved, and feeling confident that we can be used by God. We all know what it can feel like to pursue something, whether it is starting new job or trying to make small changes in life—and not get any feedback or encouragement. Sometimes it can make you want to quit!

First Thessalonians chapter five verse eleven tells us, “So encourage each other and build each other up …”  A commitment to encourage others challenges us all to selflessly lift the countenance of someone else — no matter what we might be facing ourselves. As we offer encouragement to others, we can trust that God, in His sovereignty, will encourage us. This is the principle described in Proverbs 11:25, “… whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (NIV).

Pray for God to make you an encourager. Ask Him to connect you with those who simply need encouragement. Ask Him to give you a heart that loves others and the creativity to know how to show it. Ask Him to help you die to self-centeredness and grow in a desire to build others up. What would happen if we all began to intentionally encourage others?

“Ellen” is still leading groups today because four women continued to show up to encourage her. Ask God to bring “Ellen” across your path. Sometimes, God wants us to be where we do not want to be because Ellen needs us.

As my young grandsons walked into my home, they saw a big change. It started at the front door and flowed through the house. There were pumpkins placed in many places around the rooms. Pictures representing the fall season had replaced the ones that were previously hanging. Bright orange floral arrangements were prominently displayed on tables and walls. Furniture was now draped with warm fall-colored pillows and throw blankets. Those boys walked from room to room taking in the view.

One of my grandsons asked me why everything looked so different. My reply to him was, “The season has changed, and I changed with it.” 

I love the seasons of spring and summer. They are, by far, my favorites because I like the longer amount of daylight and the warm temperatures. Yet, when the cooler and colder months come, I have to walk through them. As much as I might desire, I cannot force the season to stay the same.

Change in our seasons of life is kind of like a trapeze act. The trapeze artist lets go of one bar before taking hold of the other bar coming towards them. The trapeze artist is just hanging in the air for a brief second, but unless the artist lets go of one bar, they cannot take hold of another.

One of the things I have learned about life is that it is full of seasons. There are seasons of plenty, seasons of barely enough, seasons of dryness, seasons of great laughter, seasons of deep mourning, seasons of church hurt, seasons of family pain, seasons of great faith, seasons of doubt, seasons of victory, and seasons of defeat. Unlike the four seasons we experience on the earth, there is no rhyme or reason as to seasons showing up in life or how long they will last. The worst seasons seem like they will never end, and the good seasons are like spring and summer are to me – they go by too fast.

We cannot freeze time. That season you have enjoyed so much may end, but that does not mean the end of joy. Thanks be to God that the season of pain and sadness you endure will not go on forever. A new season will come.

Do you find yourself in a new season? Do you find yourself like the trapeze artist having to let go of one season to reach out for the next? The changing of seasons reminds us that we are not in control, but we can trust the God who is in control.

The Bible offers profound insights into the rhythms of nature, including the changing of seasons. As we transition from one season to another, here are six verses that reflect a God who is in control no matter the season.

1. “He made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down.” – Psalm 104:19
2. “It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.” – Psalm 74:17
3. “He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” – Daniel 2:21
4. “He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.” – Acts 1:7
5. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
6. “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11

If you are moving through a season of change, let Jesus be your refuge. He will be your steadfast anchor. In every season we are a witness to God’s power. How we respond to seasons preaches a much greater sermon than your family will hear from a pulpit. Your response in your seasons of good, bad, blessing, and challenges preaches a message to the people around you. I especially want my children and grandchildren to hear from my life that God is faithful in every season. I want them to hear, “Seasons change, but God is the same!”

A while back I was watching a movie that was rather long. The more the story went along, there were lots of ups and downs and turns and twists in the plot.  Some of it was a bit sinister. I was not sure that I wanted to continue with the movie for fear of what the ending might be. So, guess what I did? I fast-forwarded to the last ten minutes to see how it ended, and it was a great ending.

Once I knew how it ended, I went back and watched the whole movie because no matter how hard some parts were, I knew how it was going to end. I knew the hard parts did not tell the final story!

As we walk in today’s world, it can make us yell, “Stop! I cannot take it anymore! The world has gone absolutely crazy!”  What can we do when we feel that way? We need to open our Bibles and turn to the final two chapters of Revelation again and again. Read those chapters at least once per week. How the story ends should increase our faith to live in the moment!

Revelation brings us to the end of the story. It pictures the new Jerusalem coming from heaven, where God dwells. We are told, it doesn’t need the sun and the moon anymore, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. There will never be a time when its gates will be shut, for there will be no night there.

No danger. No curse. No sin. No rebellion.

Man has never known a community unmarred by sin, and we never will while on this earth. Every generation since the fall of man has dealt with an earth that is filled with sin and sorrow. In the New Jerusalem, we have something totally unique: a sinless, pure, community of righteousness, a holy city.

One of the best things of all: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Some of you who have heard me teach, know that I often break into song singing:

“It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus, life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ! One glimpse of His dear face, all sorrow will erase, so bravely run the race till we see Christ!”

What we see around us now, will fade when we see Jesus face-to-face. Are you ready for that wonderful eternity with God? One day, Jesus will return to remove evil and make all things new, including His people! And that is a promise that should motivate faithfulness in every one of us until the King returns.

Fast forward to the end! It’s the best part.

Recently, my husband and I had a telephone conversation with someone we have known and loved a very long time. I remember listening as this person began to tell us what was going on in their family life. That call literally made me weak as I envisioned the situation. It was a hard gut punch. My heart was broken, and worry began to engulf me. I still remember the call, and I remember the fear, anxiety, and scenarios that played out in my head.

While that conversation played out in my mind, it caused me to stop and think of other situations in which we were emotionally involved. I thought of both my brother and sister who are facing difficult health issues, my brother who had just lost his daughter, and my niece who is facing a battle with colon cancer.

Remember the old saying “when it rains it pours?” Have you ever had a season like that? It is one really difficult, heart-rending situation after another, and there seems to be nothing but challenges ahead.

“God, please don’t let one more heavy thing come my way right now.”

As I have prayed about the situations in my life, I keep hearing this, “Will you trust Me with the outcome?”

In Daniel chapter three, there is a story of three Hebrew children, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who were faced with a dilemma. I know many of us are very familiar with the story, but if you are facing hard dilemmas in life, I challenge you to go back and read it again. Ponder the story.

These three guys were facing the dilemma to cave to the pressure being placed upon them or stand strong in their trust of God and risk sure death in a fiery furnace. Let’s remember that they are living this in real time. Real time is harder than reading it after the fact! They chose to stand and trust God.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were about to go into a fiery furnace. They were bound to make sure they did not escape the flames. It was impossible from a natural perspective. There seemed no way to break that which bound them.

Many times, in life, you and I are facing things that seem to have us totally bound with no way out. Our hands are tied, our feet are shackled, and we have no control over the situation. Oh, we might not be physically tied up, but mentally we are fighting the shackles of fear, anxiety, helplessness, and “what-ifs” that life situations bring.

Here is a question for us, “Will we trust God with the outcome, even when we have no idea what the outcome will be?”  Those three young men said, “Our God is able to deliver us … but even if He doesn’t, we will still serve Him.”  Their confession was, “We do not know the outcome, but we know the One who will have the final word in this situation.”

My favorite part of the story is King Nebuchadnezzar’s response after the three men were thrown into a deadly, fiery furnace. Then, King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.” He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a god.”

Notice, man had tried to bind them, but God gave them the power to walk about freely even though they should be bound. The trial actually freed them from that which had tried to bind them.

Sometimes, we all face waters that seem too deep for us and flames that are too hot for us. Let us grab hold of the promises in Isaiah forty-three. Read it from the New Living Translation.

“When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” – Isaiah 43:2,3 (NLT)

That is a promise you can hold onto when you are in deep waters, between a rock and a hard place, or in a fire of oppression. It is then that we can say, “I will trust God with the what ifs and the even ifs.”

My husband and I rarely go to buffet restaurants. There was a time that was not the case! We would go to buffets that seemed to offer miles and miles of food. Thankfully, food was grouped together, so we could scurry to the “good” stuff. I would pass the broccoli, salad, and cabbage. It was much more appealing to head to the steak, fried chicken, fried vegetables, and dessert – I mean desserts. Buffets are à la carte eating at its finest. Buffets offer the opportunity for one to go into a food coma and become useless for the next several hours.

Buffets are marvelous because one can feast on only what a person wants and leave the rest.

It seems that we are in a time of buffet Christianity where we take the Word of God and make à la carte selections. Choose the parts you like and avoid the other parts. Let me give a couple of examples.

Jesus had a lot to say about a real hell, and He made sure to teach that it is not somewhere one wants to end up when their eternity begins. Jesus had a lot to say about hell at the end of Matthew 25 and the end of Mark 9. These are the actual teachings of Jesus. Talking about hell from a pulpit might not fill the building, yet it is something that needs to be taught. Hell is a broccoli kind of subject – let’s head to the dessert bar instead!

Let me give one more example. I have been shocked at the number of Christians, even pastors, who think all roads lead to the same God. That is not what the Bible teaches. We are in a time when the true Gospel message is offensive to those who want to hang out at the dessert bar.

I recently heard a clip that went something like this, “Jesus said he is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one can approach the Father except through faith in Jesus (John 14:6). You cannot approach God through good works. You cannot come to God by meditating on your inner self. We can only approach the Father through faith in the sinless Savior of the world. Don’t like that part of the Bible? Take it up with Jesus.”

Now to some, the above message is broccoli, Brussel sprouts, and cabbage all in one bowl!

Do you like buffets? Well, I can offer you a great one! Go to the one offered in the Bible. I challenge all of us to go to the whole counsel of God. Eat from all parts. Read whole books of the Bible and taste of the broccoli, the fried food, the steak, and the desserts.

Read the Bible à la carte on occasion, but don’t eat that way all the time. Don’t be a picky eater. We need to eat of all that God’s Word offers. Come to the table, taste and see that the Lord is good. Eat bountifully from all that He has to offer.

Never have I been a good water-drinker. I am not a person who is thirsty by nature; so, if not careful, I will go long periods without drinking something.  My body has known a lot of dehydration over the years. Once while watching my son play baseball on a very hot summer day, I watched the entire game without drinking anything.  By the time I got to my car, I almost passed out. The problem was dehydrated living.

Recently, I have been determined to drink more water. Determination is wonderful, but it still requires follow through, which did not happen, so I continued to suffer from dehydrated living.

One day I discovered something called an infusion pitcher. The infusion pitcher takes plain old water and infuses it with flavors from fresh fruits and vegetables. After filling the pitcher with water, a cylinder is filled with fruits and/or vegetables and put into the core of the pitcher of water. The openings in the cylinder allow the fruit to change the taste of the water. Each new pitcher offers new taste and new refreshment. I now go looking for a drink of that water. The difference is the core.

So many people are dehydrated in life, and some of those people are believers, God’s people. One can get up every morning out of the same old bed, eat the same old breakfast, drive the same old route to work, do the same routine things, come home to make the same old dinner, watch the same old television and go back to the same old bed, wake up and do it again the next day.

When walking with God, it is so easy to get into a perfunctory relationship with Him. Read a chapter a day in the Bible, go to the same old church, listen to the same old pastor, sing with the same old worship team, go home and do it all over again. That is dehydrated Christian living. We have lost the core that flavors that walk and gives meaning to “taste of the Lord and see that He is good.”

At the core must be the presence of and reliance on the Holy Spirit. When I invite the Holy Spirit to be present with me as I read God’s word, as I worship, as I pray and I walk through life, it destroys spiritual dehydration. It is easy to jump right in without first inviting His presence. When the Holy Spirit is at the core, He will open heaven, and give victory from that which sucks the life out of us. The Holy Spirit will continuously pour into our lives “springs of living water.”  Our lives are only as effective as what is at the core. When the Holy Spirit and His fruit are at the core, the Word comes to life, worship is powerfully intimate, and we experience an overcoming life.

I have said goodbye to dehydrated living! How about you?

“For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.” – Isaiah 44:3-4

It has been twelve years since we lost our son Bryan. If I stop and think about that Saturday morning phone call, I can still feel the gut punch from the news, “Your son went into cardiac arrest and could not be resuscitated.”  What? Did we hear that correctly? How can this thirty-seven-year-old man, husband, son, brother, and soon-to-be father be gone?

Gaylon and I had served God and been in ministry for more than forty years at that point in our lives. We had walked with God, and God had walked with us. Though that was the case, the next several months were dark and hard. Twelve years later we still miss our son, but the difficult days of heavy grief are fewer and far between. Notice, I did not say we never experience grief, but that the very heavy days are fewer and far between.

This past weekend, Gaylon and I attended the tenth annual Bryan Benton Memorial Golf Tournament in Hickory, North Carolina. I saw many of the young men and women that Bryan had gone to college with, played football with, been friends with. Many had been a part of Bryan’s wedding, and on the day of the tournament, there they stood with their own spouses and children. They showed up to honor a friend and colleague.

I stood there as opening remarks were given, and to my surprise, tears began to flow. Some of my tears were certainly from recalling my son and his life, but many were thanksgiving to God for life after deep grief. As I looked at Bryan’s son Tucker and his mother Sarah, I saw their laughter and joy. I rejoiced with them that their lives had been renewed and filled with happiness. I saw Bryan’s friends, who loved him deeply, and they had joyous lives.

We had all learned to live with grief but not die in grief.

Grief is a challenging thing, and there is no handbook or magical formula to say how long one will feel its heaviness. Grief is the painful, complex process of dealing with the losses we encounter. Maybe you have received devastating news, an unexpected diagnosis, or the dreaded phone call of a loved one that has died. It is easy to feel as if you will never breathe again.

Twelve years later, may I offer a little advice to help us with the journey of grief? This is not perfect advice, and it is not time-stamped as to how long these stages take. I do know that God wants to help us walk all the way through the valley of the shadow of death.

1. Feel what you feel. Even if you are a strong believer or Christian leader, grief is grief, and you do not have to pretend the sorrow is not there.
2. Cry as much as you wish. It is okay to cry and would be shocking if you did not cry in the midst of grief.
3. Let God bring you comfort. He will carry you – He will! Friends try their best to say or do the right thing, and sometimes that is helpful and other times it is not. As hard as it might be to do, sit down and ask the Holy Spirit to come and strengthen your hurting heart. I did this during the day and sometimes in the middle of the night. I cannot explain it, but there were times God showed up in the middle of those times and brought comfort. Cry out to Him and tell Him your heart is worn out and you feel like you cannot take another step.
4. When the time is right, start being around others. Don’t let yourself become isolated forever. This might feel difficult at first. Start with close friends going on a lunch date or meeting for coffee.
5. Accept the new normal. I do not have to like my new normal, but I have to come to terms with the fact that my family has a new normal. Part of my normal includes realizing that Bryan’s death is a marker in my journey of life. I might say, “That happened before Bryan died, or after Bryan died, we did so and so.”  During football season, we will sometimes say, “Bryan would have been so excited about this.”
6. Give yourself the freedom to laugh again and live again. Bryan died on February 11. For the next several months, when the eleventh of the month came, I would stop and say it is the eleventh of the month. Then one month, it was the fourteenth of the month, and I realized that I did not remember the eleventh of that month. At first, I felt guilt, then I realized that God was helping me to learn to live again. Life was emerging again.
7. Encourage others who are facing grief. (This part does not come quickly. It might take time, and that is okay.)  I do not have the right words for someone’s grief, but I can encourage them that I am praying for them and thinking of them. I occasionally contact those who are going through loss. I just want them to know that I am thinking of them and praying for them.

If you are grieving, and feel stuck, stop now, and pour out your heart to God. Ask Him for strength to take one step forward, and then take it. Then, take the next and the next and the next. Keep walking. God does give supernatural strength to press on. There is life after grief.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18; “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm73:26.

Recently, I felt so surrounded by life. Do you know what I mean? When there seems to be pressure on every side? The feeling I had was like the timid kid on the playground who was surrounded by the meanest bullies around. That kid feels overwhelmed, afraid, and maybe helpless. There seems to be no way through the bullies.

As we deal with a season of spiritual warfare, especially when it is warfare over the ones we love so much, it can feel like being surrounded by bullies that are bigger than we are, stronger than we are, and smarter than we are. I have felt this way, haven’t you? I want to believe there is a strong lion inside of me, but at times it feels like a little kitten.

A great man of God named Elisha experienced this situation. The story is told in Second Kings chapter six beginning with verse eight. It is a remarkable story to read, giving us insight into the spiritual battles that we face. An enemy army surrounds Elisha and his servant. It is just the two of them being surrounded by an entire army. Surely, there is no way out. Elisha’s servant began to panic and said, “We are surrounded. There are two of us and an entire army circling us.” In other words, we do not have a chance!

Elisha was surrounded by the same army as the servant. He was in the same battle as the servant. BUT – Elisha knew a greater source than the source that was surrounding him. Elisha looked at the servant and said, “Don’t be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” I would love to get a look inside the brain of the servant. He must have thought, “Oh great! Not only am I surrounded by an army, but I am also in the middle of the circle with someone who is out of touch with reality!”

Then, Elisha prayed a marvelous prayer! “Oh Lord, please open his eyes that he can see.” Elisha did not belittle the servant who was facing a faith crisis. Elisha knew that only God could open the man’s eyes. The Bible tells us that the Lord opened his eyes, and the servant saw. Here is what he saw, “Behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”  The servant got a vision of the unseen world which was much more powerful than the vision of the natural world. That glimpse into the spiritual realm changed EVERYTHING!

Elisha’s servant moved from natural thinking to supernatural thinking. In the supernatural realm, the servant’s fears were gone. He no longer thought it was two against an army. He realized the army of God was there to do battle with him.

This is the way we need to live on a day-by-day basis.

Some either do not acknowledge that there is a war between spiritual forces, or they are afraid to talk about it. There is an unseen world around us. Part of that unseen world is the army of evil that is trying to pull us away from God and cause us to walk hopeless and defeated. Today, God wants to remind us of the other army that is far more powerful than all that comes against us.

I highly encourage you to read this story today and the rest of the days this week. Let it lift your faith to see into the unseen world, the supernatural world.

Today, I pray that God will help us to see beyond what we see! Let us allow God to help us to live in light of the spiritual power He has placed within us! I had already prayed for situations that seemed insurmountable today. Now, I am stopping and saying, “Open my eyes to see into the heavenly realm, to see that those things that surround my life are surrounded by You!”

My four-year-old grandson stood in front of my chair just staring at me with a puzzled look. He was literally two feet from my face. He said nothing for a moment, so I asked, “Judah, are you okay?”

Judah looked at me and said, “Why is your face so red? It “wooks” kind of like a “cwown’ (clown).” I chuckled and said, “I have on something called blush. Do you think it’s too red?” Judah nodded his head.

I got up and looked into a mirror. Because the room was sunny and bright, I could see that indeed, my cheeks were a little too blushy. I proceeded to take a tissue and wipe off some of the blush. After a few strokes of the tissue, I asked Judah if it looked right now, and he answered me in the affirmative.

Earlier that morning, I had put on a little blush, but I did not turn on the lights. I thought I could see well enough in the natural light, but once the bright light shined on my face, I could see the correction that was needed. But I would never have looked at my face if someone who loved me had not pointed it out to me.

Who do you have in your life that you allow to correct you when something is off spiritually? Maybe even something you do not see in yourself.  Let’s face it: Accepting correction can be hard. It is easy to fall into thinking that we know best and that someone else does not have the right to tell us to change. Oftentimes, we interpret correction for judgment.

Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” I believe that a loving rebuke is one of the highest forms of love that one person can express to another.

It is painful to be corrected, and it is painful to be the one doing the correcting. As I look back through the years, I can pinpoint painful experiences when a friend or friends cared enough about me to wound me. I hate to think of where I might be today had they kissed-up to me rather than showing me things that were harming my growth in Christ and my efforts at ministry. I am a stronger person today because of these friends. These were friends that I knew loved me and cared about my walk with God, not someone I hardly knew who just did not like something about me.

When someone corrects you, or points out an area where you might need to grow, what is your first reaction? Let me guess. It is probably not, “Thanks, I was really hoping someone would point that out to me.”

We all have “blind spots”—negative parts of our life or character that we cannot see. Sometimes, we even know we are willfully walking in sin. We all need someone who loves us and will say, “You need to get this out of your life.” A true friend will love us enough to tell us the truth, even at the risk of hurting our feelings.

We all need at least one friend, a good, godly friend who inspires us to be more like Christ — a friend who is positive and encouraging, but painfully honest when needed. If you do not have a friend like this, ask God to help you find one. Such friends have been some of the greatest blessings in my Christian walk.

In Second Samuel chapter twelve, there is a story that illustrates the need to have someone who will speak the truth in love. It is the story of King David who lusted after a married woman named Bathsheba. When she became pregnant with his child, he had her husband killed and married her to cover up his sin. 

However, this sin was not hidden from God. Thus, the Lord sent Nathan to David with a message. 

Nathan told David a story of two men, a rich man, and a poor man. The rich man had a large number of sheep, while the poor man only had one little lamb that he loved dearly and treated like his own child. When a traveler came to the rich man, instead of slaughtering one of his own sheep, the rich man took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the traveler to eat.

David responded with great anger. “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity” (2 Samuel 12:5-6).

Nathan replied, “You are the man!”  David had everything, but still took another man’s wife. David had been described as a man after God’s heart, yet he needed a Nathan to say, “Look what is in your life.”

Nathan did not do this so he could let David have a piece of his mind. He did it for David to come back into alignment with God. David repented of this wrongdoing (which he writes of in Psalm 51).

Every one of us needs a Nathan. We get so used to our sins that often we have become blind to them, or sometimes simply enjoy having them around. We do not even notice them anymore. We all need bold, loving Christian friends who call us to repentance.

“Everybody Needs a Nathan!”  Who is yours?