Gaylon and I just returned from a few days in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where our son Michael lives.  We try to be at special events for our grandchildren whenever possible. Madison was having field day at her school, and then would be off for half a day. It was perfect – we could watch her participate and then have her to ourselves for a few hours. The field day had a Dr. Seuss theme, and it was interesting to watch the various events.  Madison is all girl!  I remember her telling me a few years back that she did not like any sport except for ballet. That’s my girl!

One event that really caught my attention was one requiring that the kids put on large clown shoes, big glasses and strap on a long tail.  After getting dressed, they held a stick with a spinning plate, and had to walk a certain distance, turn around and come back to the starting point.  Upon their return, they would take the outfit off and give it to a classmate who would do the same routine.

The children were divided into three groups, and the idea was to see which group finished first.  It was so funny to watch two of the groups in particular, as they awkwardly tried to run in the shoes.  After each student on the team had a turn, the kids moved farther and farther from the starting point, which made their course shorter and shorter. Their race seemed easier and quicker.  Only one group was returning all the way back to the start.  That one group just kept walking obediently, not paying any attention to the fact that the others were a few steps in front of them.

To our surprise the group that won, was the group that did it the right way.  They never got rattled by the fact that others seemed to have it easier, or were way ahead in the race.   Step by step, foot by foot they just kept walking the course that was laid out before them, and they finished the race victoriously.

How easy it is to think that the devil is a few steps ahead of us, and will keep us from winning the race, or how easy it is to think others are running their race with more ease than we are.  Our focus cannot be on the race of another.  All that is required to finish our race victoriously, is to keep walking.  Step by step with God, we walk the course set before us.

As writer John King said, “The Lord has a special individualized track for each of us. I’m not running your race, and you aren’t running mine.  I won’t be judged for you, and you won’t be judged for me, or anyone else for that matter.  The Lord doesn’t measure us against others.  Winning not only means making it to heaven.  Winning means making the Father proud.  Winning means walking out our faith daily.  Winning has nothing to do with how we measure up against others, it means how well we measured up against God’s plan for us.”

Just put your shoes on and run!

“Let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Tony Evans, pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, is a great expositor of the Word of God. He is an excellent preacher.

Evans tells of being on an elevator in a high-rise building.  He said he’d never been particularly comfortable on such elevators.  There was something about riding up and down in a little box several hundred feet off the ground that has never sat well with him.  He worried that something would go wrong.

One day it did.  The car in which he was riding got stuck in between floors way up in the higher floors. He noted that some of the people in the car became frantic.  They began to beat on the door hoping to get someone’s attention.  Others began to yell in the hopes that their voices would get someone on the surrounding floors to come to the aid.  But nobody heard their noise or their cries.

Then Evans quietly made his way to the front of the car, opened a little door in the wall and pulled out a telephone. Immediately he was connected with someone on the outside.  He didn’t need to beat on the wall to get their attention. He didn’t need to speak loudly in the phone to receive their help.  He could have whispered and they would have heard him.

Evans said, “In this world, we’re going to get “stuck” in places we aren’t comfortable with.  Some people begin to beat against the walls, others cry out in dismay.  But the person who trusts in the power of confident prayer knows there’s someone on the other end who hears their call and comes to their aid.”

We can often find ourselves stuck in circumstances that are scary and out of our control. Before you panic, pick up the phone for assistance.

“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!  What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,  All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?  We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.  Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6

Rush hour traffic in Birmingham is anything but a rush!  It moves at a snail’s pace, especially driving into our suburb of Helena.

Helena is a little community away from the hustle and bustle of metro life.  It’s safe, quiet and friendly.   The biggest issue with Helena is traffic flow early in the morning and late in the afternoon. There are just a couple of roads leading into our fair city, and none of those are four lanes.  When one gets off the interstate to drive the fives miles into Helena, it can take a while.

Often people are feeding in from side roads trying to get onto the main road, and it’s hit and miss whether a person will be nice enough to let you slip into the flow of traffic.  I try my best, when possible, to help someone on a side road merge into the main flow. After they pull in front of me, there’s such a good feeling when they throw their hand up in the air saying, “Thank you so much!”  That just feels good!

Recently, I was driving in heavy traffic, and I waved a car into the flow.  The driver merged in front of me, but there was no throwing up the hand to say thanks, no smile, just v-room and on his way!  He did not even bother to thank me.  He just wanted to take what I gave, and be on his merry way!

It is so easy to ride down the road of life, never cultivating a heart of thanksgiving.  If you don’t believe that, take fifteen minutes to read the Monday morning posts on Facebook! Posts like – “It’s Monday, and I have to go to work. UGH!”

It is easy to murmur, complain, or compare ourselves to others when things don’t go our way.  A spirit of ungratefulness can cause us to miss out on receiving what God wants to give us. That’s why we need to make thanksgiving a way of life.

What would happen if on Monday morning, we dared to post – “Thank you, Lord, that you have provided me a job!”  Or, “Monday is the day the Lord has made, and I rejoice in it!”

I propose a challenge.  All through the day and week, when we want to complain, let’s stop and give thanks to the Lord.  Like those people who throw up a hand to say, “Thanks, for letting me in the line of traffic,” let’s throw up a hand to say, “Thank you, Lord!”  And, yes, I mean literally wave a hand at God and say, “Thank you!”

Gratitude is a choice. Will you be a part of the thank you wave?

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.   Psalm 118:1

Our grandson Tucker lives in North Carolina, and he is definitely a “full-of-life” kind of boy.  Last weekend, we went to visit Sarah and Tucker. Upon arrival we found a very sick little boy.  Normally when we arrive, Tucker runs to us, with a huge smile and arms outstretched for a hug. Not that day!

As we entered the house, Tucker was right up next to his mom where he had been all day.  He was running a fever and was obviously sick.  We knelt down to talk to him, and all he would say through tears was, “Mommy, hold me!  Mommy, hold me!”  We tried to talk with him, but he wasn’t interested in our words.  Again he said, “Mommy, hold me!”  It didn’t take long to realize that Tucker did not need our words; he needed comfort for his pain.  He just needed a loving embrace.

By nature many of us are “fixers.”  We think we have to say just the right thing, or we need words that sound spiritual, or words to cause a painful situation make sense.  We want to make everything okay.  Sometimes we need to realize that people just need a hug.  They just need the comfort of our presence.

This week we will all encounter people in pain.  There will pain of loss, pain of divorce, pain of depression, pain of disappointment, pain of loneliness, pain of fear and many other kinds of pain. We can’t always fix it.  We certainly can’t always have just the right words to bring understanding, but we do have the gift of a hug.

A hug could be the exact thing needed by someone whose path you cross today. Without even knowing it, you could be changing the life of that person.  They could be having the worst day possible, or facing painful situations for which you will not have the right words.  You can possibly change the day, the week, the month or the life of another person simply by giving a hug.

Sometimes, like Tucker, people are just saying, “I just want someone to hold me, to give me the ministry of their presence.”

What’s the best part about it?  Hugs are free and they can be given anytime.

Who will you hug today?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted …” – Ephesians 4:32a

We have moved several times over the course of forty-three years of marriage. While living in Florida, we lived temporarily in someone’s vacant, furnished home while our home was being built. This required that most of our belongings stay in storage for several months – several months in a storage shed in sunny, HOT Florida.

Finally, the day arrived to move into our home.  As I began unpacking boxes, I got to my couch cushions. They had been pressed up against something and were pushed inward, and would not bounce back. Before that, they were always able to bounce back when pressure was applied.  They had become depressed because of months of being pressured.  As a result, they lost their beauty and usefulness.

That is a description of depression.  Often in life we bounce back from all kinds of pressures and situations.  Then, one day we can’t seem to bounce back, and one day turns into many days.  We just can’t seem to bounce back.  Perhaps we lose that glimmer in our eye, or our contagious laughter.

Sometimes it is hard to confess that we are suffering from the pain of depression. Depression is one of the touchy subjects of the church.  Many proclaim it is a spirit or a demon, and the person needs a laying-on-hands deliverance.  While that might be true sometimes, most often it is not!

I think that depression can be categorized in two basic ways: clinical depression and situational depression. I have asked a friend, who is a Christian counselor, to write a follow-up blog, with some clarification about clinical depression.  That will posted a few months down the line.  Clinical depression is a medical condition requiring professional help with a plan of action to wellness, just as illnesses of the body require a doctor.

There is no way one can exhaustively cover this subject in a blog.  I shall endeavor to give basic info about situational depression and ways to win the victory.

Some people suffer from situational depression.  Situational depression can come from divorce, death, financial problems, abuse, unfaithfulness of a spouse, health issues, infertility, wayward children or other life circumstances.

I will use the death of a loved one as an example.  I personally suffered situational depression after losing our son Bryan. The experience took my breath away at times, caused many sleepless nights and caused me to experience a pall of heaviness that I could not shake. The interesting thing is that I experienced that for a few months after Bryan’s death, and then it strongly revisited as the year 2014 began.  Situational depression can come upon us when pain or disappointment is overwhelming.

There I said it! Barbara Benton has suffered bouts of depression.  I am still a Spirit-filled, bible-believing, God-loving and song-singing child of God!  That statement will shock some, and cause others to look at me a bit differently.  It’s okay.  I am all about helping people understand that they don’t have to be overcome by life, but can be an overcomer in life.

What have I learned through these times?

1. God is not mad at a depressed person.  He wants to comfort the heart and bring peace.
2. Stay in His Word, not because we must read daily or we are bad Christians, but because much strength comes as the Word of truth penetrates the dark night of the soul.  Walk around reading the Psalms aloud. Insert your name as you read. For example: The Lord is Barbara Benton’s shepherd.  He will cause ME to lie down in green pastures of rest. He will do that because “I” am His child.
3. Press through the “I don’t feel like it” emotion.  The Word of God is true, firm and unchanging.
4. Have faith in God. Trust in the darkness what you have learned in the light.  It WILL bring you through. Trust what God says rather than your feelings. Feelings can be deceptive.
5. Talk with a close friend or family member who can be trusted, and who will pray with/for you.  The devil would love for you to keep it a secret.  I went through a period of not wanting others to know how much I was suffering. Make regular prayer appointments with those people.  Prayer is essential, and the power of what it can do is immeasurable.
6. Exercise.  Don’t hole up in your home.  Staying in all by myself was a great temptation.
7. Speak to a Christian counselor, if needed.  That person can help to put things in perspective.

It is impossible to cover all that the Bible says about depression, sorrow and hopelessness, so I will only share a bit.

1. David was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, his heart was desolate, and his tears fell all night
2. Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, and Elijah expressed feelings of rejection, loneliness, self-pity, hopelessness, overwhelming grief, and wish they had not been born.  It seems they are expressing more than temporary sadness, but symptoms of depression.
3. After the death of her husband and sons, Naomi asked that her name be changed to “Mara” which means bitterness.
4. In Corinthians 2, Paul had symptoms of depression: his flesh had no rest, he was troubled on all sides, he was cast down, he had fears within, and he despaired of life.
5. Hannah had many of the symptoms of depression, and her spiritual leader instantly, and incorrectly, accused her of a spiritual problem.

God brought each of them through their times of despondency.  God saw where each was emotionally. God cared. God brought them through.  God wants to do that for you! God does want us to live life abundantly, which is His ordained plan for the believer.

God is our hope in the midst of depression.  One of the great truths of the Bible is that God is with us when we are in trouble, including depression.  The message is clear. When depression hits, fix your eyes on God, His power, and His love for you.  This is what God has declared:

• The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
• The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
• So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. (John 14:16)
• Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

What do I want you to take away from this blog?   You are not a horrible Christian if you have been through, or you are going through depression.  God does not love you any less. I also want you to know that I can testify to this: “He has turned my mourning into dancing. He has put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.”  I want to you know that “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Though we go through dark times, God will bring us back into a time of rejoicing. Indeed, He will! When you are troubled and depressed, there is hope in God. I can testify to that!

This week in the greater Birmingham area, we were on alert for bad storms with possible flooding overnight.  Sure enough, we were awakened several times with loud claps of thunder.  Twice during the night, our weather alarm sounded, requiring us to get up and pay attention to the warning.  The warning called for our area to be on alert because of flash flooding.  We were tired and annoyed because there was no problem where we live.  We did not need to hear the alarm.  We did not want to be awakened from our sleep by an alarm.

As I watched the early news this morning, there were many who had to abandon their homes in the middle of the night.  Many had to be rescued by boat.  They needed the alarm.  Their lives depended on the alarm.  I was more concerned about my own comfortable place than for those who needed the alarm.

Sometimes when we hear preaching/teaching that sounds the alarm for the lost, it’s easy to say, “I don’t need that.  I am safe.”  It’s easy to wish the alarm would go away, because we are safe.  However, the alarm is for those who do need it.

• Noah’s message from the steps going up to the ark was not, “Something good is going to happen to you!”
• Amos did not confront the high priest of Israel proclaiming, “Confession is possession!”
• Jeremiah was not put into the pit for preaching, “I’m okay, you’re okay.”
• Daniel was not thrown into the lion’s den for telling people, “Positive thinking will move mountains!”
• John the Baptist did not preach in the wilderness and have his head chopped off because he preached, “Smile! God loves you!”

Instead what was the message of all these men of God? Their message can be simply put in one word, REPENT!

I love to hear a message on “I know the plans I have for you, and it’s good.”  I love a message on “Speak to the mountain and it will move.”  There is a time and place for these messages, but it is still essential to sound the alarm, to preach the truth of the Gospel.

Jesus sounded the alarm.  As a matter of fact Jesus was clear in several passages of scripture including Luke 13:1-5,  “About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple.  “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered?  Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem?  No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.”

I am thankful for the alarm that caught my attention and then let me see that God made a way for me.  “God so loved the world He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.”  – John 3:16   

Praise God for His grace and mercy.  I am so thankful that someone sounded the alarm and I heard it.  What joy that I can now sing:

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

Gaylon Benton and I were married on Saturday evening, June 26, 1971.  We will soon celebrate forty-three years of marriage. Through both good times, bad times, hard times and joyous times, we have truly learned who each other is.  I know a lot about my husband!  My husband knows a lot about me!

These are a few of the things that I know Gaylon loves:

• Alabama football
• Key lime pie
• His family
• Khaki pants
• Alabama football
• Bread
• Tools
• Strawberries
• Assisting others
• Alabama football
• Vanilla ice cream
• A sloppy, wet kiss

I could add plenty more of what Gaylon loves.  I have also learned the things he hates and that is just as important.

These are a few of the things that I know Gaylon hates:

• Bread that is too crispy
• Alabama losing a game
• Yard work (I second that!)
• Too much cover on the bed
• Alabama losing a game
• Strife
• Tools not being put away properly
• Beets
• Death
• Green beans
• Chocolate ice cream (what is his problem)
• A perfunctory, unemotional kiss
• Alabama losing a game

Though I’ve made light of my husband’s loves and hates, the fact is that it is important for me to know the desires of the one I love.  I don’t serve him green beans.  I try not to pull the heavy comforter up on his side of the bed.  I am sensitive to his “pain” when Alabama loses a game.  I try to watch the bread closely so it’s just like he likes it.  I try to kiss just right!  My desire is to please him.  I love to honor him.  I love to put a smile on his face.

There is so much talk about the love of God, and worship, and Bible study, and the goodness of God, and on and on.  Rightfully so!  God is good.  God is love.  Have we given just as much consideration to the things that God says he hates?   At times it seems, we in the church have failed to remind this generation that while God is love, He also has the capacity to hate.

Proverbs chapter six gives us a list of some things God hates:

“These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

• A proud look
• A lying tongue
• Hands that shed innocent blood
• A heart that devises wicked plans
• Feet that are swift in running to evil
• A false witness who speaks lies
• And one who sows discord among brethren”

Gaylon loves me whether the bread is too brown or just right.  Gaylon loves me even when I pull the comforter up during the night, and he gets too hot.  Gaylon loves me when there is no vanilla ice cream in the house.  I never doubt that his love for me is eternal, but our relationship has matured.  I want to please the one I love.  It brings me great joy to bring a smile to his face.

It’s time for God’s people to mature beyond just knowing only what God loves. There are things God hates, but He does not hate YOU!  He did make it a point to list in His word what He does hate.  It is my joy to avoid what my Beloved hates.

Lord, I want to love what you love, and hate what you hate.

SELAH

Be careful where you park!

When parking my car, I always look for the end parking space, even if it’s far from the store.  My car has been dented by car doors more than once, and it has been scratched pretty badly.  I finally made a decision to look for the end space and pull close to the edge, far away from other cars.  I have been doing this for years.  That means there are times I have to walk a long way, but the effort is worth it, because I am avoiding a lot of unnecessary damage.  I want to park in the easy place, but I have learned that can be damaging.

Often in talking with people, I am surprised where they park their lives – right in the line of damage.  Some do it over and over and over.

• Some park at wrong relationships
• Some park at church/pastor disappointment
• Some park at procrastination
• Some park at grudge city
• Some park at laziness
• Some park at past spiritual experiences
• Some park at self-pity

There is a story in scripture where God’s people parked too long in a place.  They went in circles, but always wound up parked in the same old place.  God addressed it:

“When we were at Mount Sinai, the Lord our God said to us, ‘You have stayed at this mountain long enough.  It is time to break camp and move on… Look, I am giving all this land to you! Go in and occupy it…” – Deuteronomy 1:6-8

God’s people had become comfortable to park at a place that God never intended them to stay.  God said to them, it’s time to leave this parking place.  God said, “Look, there is so much beyond this parking place.”

If we stay in the wrong parking place too long, something inside of us can die.  If we stay in the wrong parking place too long, wrong becomes right.  If we stay in the wrong parking place too long, we start making excuses.  If we stay in the wrong parking place too long, we never reach fulfillment and destiny.

Can you name your mountain, that place that you have parked far too long?   It’s time to get up and move toward the promised land.  God has so much promise for us.  He has so much in store as we journey with Him.  While it’s not always easy to move from that parking place, it is so worth it!

Today is the time to stop driving in circles, and end up parking in the wrong place.  It’s time to leave the mountain where you have become comfortable.   God has so much more! The Lord is saying the same thing to you and me today that He said to the children of Israel: “You have dwelt long enough on this mountain.” It’s time for us to abandon the parking place!

Two great men of God, Jeff McFalls and Steve Hill, left this earth this week to meet their Savior face-to-face.  Some said that their cause of death was cancer, but I think God might have simply said, “It’s time for you to come home, my sons.  You fought the good fight, you finished the race, you remained faithful.”

I have read comment after comment of the lives these two men of God affected.  What struck me was how many of the comments were testimonies of their life-changing influence.  The comments were not filled with flowery speech about these men, but about what great influencers for God they were.

I have followed Pastor Jeff’s story closely for a while.  Jeff’s name was not a household word around the nation.  He did not pastor one of the largest churches.  He did not have a program on national television.  He did not write a best-seller.  He did not pastor in a large city.  He was simply a man of God whose legacy is phenomenal.  Read a few of the comments left by the folks:

“Pastor, friend, spiritual father…this man has left such an incredible mark on my life.  A man who truly gave his all to serve God.  His heart for God and love for people was inspiring!  What an honor and privilege to have had this man in my life for the past 10+ years!” 

“I looooove you and will miss u so much …what a smile he had.  I wonder if that’s the same smile he now has.  I am proud to have been blessed by his love.” 

“Heaven gained another angel today.  Pastor Jeff McFalls was one of my favorite people; he was a God fearing, encouraging, faithful, inspiring, amazing man with a heart of gold.  I love you.  You will forever hold a special place in my heart.” 

“This man brought my family closer to God and that is something I could never thank him enough for.  We love you so much.”

I could go on and on.  In addition to all the comments, many changed their Facebook profile pictures to pictures of Pastor Jeff, or posted a picture of him on their page.

What is my point?

In his book, Nearing Home, Billy Graham said, “God doesn’t want us to waste our latter years or spend them in superficial, meaningless pursuits.  Instead, He wants us to use them in whatever ways we can to influence those who will come after us. God wants us to finish well…”

One day God is going to call me home, and I wonder what will be written about my life.  I pray that I will live in such a way, minister in such a way and love in such a way that it will be said of me, “She changed my life.”  Like Jeff McFalls and Steve Hill, I want to finish well.

Gaylon and I are not pet owners, but many of our family members are. They love their pets, and their pets love them.  Sarah, my daughter-in-law in Hickory, has had Macey for about seven years. Macey is a loving, lick-you-to death, kind of dog, and she really loves Sarah.

While staying with Sarah for a few weeks shortly before Tucker’s birth, I was able to observe Macey’s daily routine.  Sarah usually arrived home around six each evening.  About 5:30, Macey would gather a couple of toys near the door, so Sarah would play with her when she arrived.  For the next thirty minutes, Macey would lay on the floor by the door awaiting her master’s return.  She did not know exactly when her master would arrive, but she had no doubt that she would arrive.  Every time she heard a sound, she would lift her head, as if to say, “Is that my Master returning?”  Finally, around six, Macey would hear the garage door go up,  and she would leap with joy.  Finally…the moment she had longed for…she would be in the presence of her master.

How easy it is to forget that our Master, Jesus Christ, will come again.  It is so easy to get caught up in life as we know it, the motions of Christianity and even ministry, and lose the awareness that our Lord will return.  What would happen if part of our daily prayer life, or daily confession would be: “Maranatha – come quickly, Lord Jesus.  I can’t wait to see your face.”

Over 2000 years ago Jesus Christ came to this earth.  The purpose of His first coming was to live a perfect life, to die to pay the penalty for the sins of people in this world.  Christ then rose again, ascended into heaven, and now sits at the right hand of God.  He is now interceding for the believers, watching over them, and waiting for that day when He comes back to earth to take them home with Him.

Today, I choose to sing and live this song:

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus!
Life’s trials will seem so small, when we see Christ.
One glimpse of his dear face, all sorrow will erase.
So, bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Each day we live, each moment of life, brings us one step closer to the day that Jesus will return.  Marantha – come quickly, Lord Jesus!  Like Macey, I can’t wait to see the Master!

“For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  ” – 1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17