Even though I pray, sometimes I have doubts.  There I said it!  Let’s face it, none of us want to be labeled as “Doubting Thomas” or a person of unbelief.    I do not walk a life of unbelief, but there have been times that unbelief was yelling in my ears. 

How about you?  Have you ever had to fight the voices you hear? How can one more thing happen to my family? The hits just keep coming.  God, do You see all of this?  God, where are you?  Don’t you even care?  After decades of hearing the stories and lessons of the Bible, are they even true? 

I realize that I am opening a can of worms for some who cannot fathom that God tolerates any unbelief.  As I was reading from John 20, the story of “Doubting Thomas” came up at the end.  I read it several times and pondered it.   Let’s look at that story and a few verses preceding the story. 

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So, the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”  But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” – John 20:19, 20, 24-29

As we enter the story in John 20, the resurrected Jesus has shown up at a gathering of the disciples.  Because of fear, those disciples were in a room where the doors were bolted and secured. All of the disciples had been affected by the death of Jesus.  What if they come after us?  What will we do now without Jesus here?  Those disciples were having a crisis of their own. 

Miraculously, Jesus was suddenly in the room with the fearful disciples.  The first thing Jesus said is not, “You are weak believers!” The first thing Jesus said was, “Be at peace.”  Jesus came to calm their internal storm, not make it worse.  He then showed them His scarred hands and side.  It really was Jesus!  What a moment that must have been!  Can you imagine the tears of joy!

Later, they found Thomas and told him the story about the visit from the risen Lord. I can visualize their excitement as they told how Jesus suddenly appeared in the room and showed them His hands and side.  Thomas said, “Really? I’ll believe it when I see it.”  Is Thomas really any different from the others?  They had a rejoicing party after seeing the hands and side of Jesus.

One week later, the disciples were once again gathered in the room, and this time Thomas was present.  Jesus showed up again.  He did not rebuke any of them, including Thomas.  Jesus again said, “Be at peace.”   Jesus then spoke directly to Thomas. He did not rebuke him, shun him, or shame him.  Jesus spoke to the issue with which Thomas was struggling. “Come.  See my hands and my side.  Stop doubting and believe.”   Jesus did not come to give a scathing rebuke to Thomas. He came to cure Thomas’s unbelief.

The same Jesus who had healed bodies and delivered people from demons, came to cure unbelief.  Unbelief will try to visit us when circumstances are overwhelming.  Unbelief will try to raise its head.  Jesus stands ready to meet us in the place of unbelief, not to rebuke us, but to heal our unbelief. 

Jesus did say, “Blessed are those who can believe without seeing.”  I am not saying that Jesus approves of unbelief and doubt. I am saying our Savior knows that there are times that we experience doubt.  Because we are sinners, He died to save us.  Because we are sometimes doubters, He came to cure our unbelief.  “Calm down.  Be at peace.  See, look, touch, believe.”

There is no gain in beating ourselves up when oppressed by doubt. Let’s quickly run to Jesus when we need to be cured of unbelief.    May we confess like the father of the demoniac in Mark 9, “I believe; help my unbelief!”  Those are some of the most honest words ever spoken by a human. Don’t be afraid to say them.  He invites us to see, look, touch, and believe again.

Standing on the dock and pulling in a fish brought a huge smile to my face. The weather was perfect in Ormond Beach that day.   It had been a long time since I had gone fishing, and as soon as I reeled in that fish, the old feeling of how much I enjoyed fishing returned.

Growing up, I might have fished once as a child.  My dad fished and hunted but never took any of his kids with him.  My husband’s family owned a farm, and a few years after Gaylon and I were married, my father-in-law had a pond dug on his land.  After the pond was filled with water, Papa Benton had it stocked with catfish.  When Gaylon and I would visit, we would fish at the pond and man was it fun!  We reeled in so many fish!  We would catch them, clean them, and Grandma Benton would cook them the same day.  Talk about fresh fish on the dinner plate!  We loved those times.

Over the years, we went less and less to fish in the pond.  Other things grabbed our attention when we visited.  Fishing lost its priority in our lives.   

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.” –  Matthew 4:18-20

When Jesus met Peter and Andrew, Jesus immediately voiced His priority.  If you follow me, I am going to teach you to fish for men.   Peter and Andrew left their nets and made fishing for people a priority. 

In the Gospels and in the book of Acts, the resurrected Christ gave His disciples instructions and once again we see the priority of His heart.  Jesus told them to go and make disciples, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  In Acts, He said that the power of the Holy Spirit resident within them, would give them the ability to be witnesses everywhere they went.  The priority of Heaven has always been that we would be fishers of men. 

Just like fishing in lakes and rivers lost priority in my life, I have found that the priority of fishing for the souls of men is a priority that is so easily lost.  We get busy with life.  We even get busy with church life. We praise. We pray.  We serve.  While those things are important, they are not Heaven’s first priority.  God has truly convicted me about being a good Christian, but not doing much fishing. 

While in Panama City Beach earlier this year, I went fishing early in the morning and also at night.  We got off the comfortable sofa in our air-conditioned condo.  We took the proper equipment and put in the effort to go where the fish were.  On neither of those fishing expeditions did we catch a single fish, yet there was still joy in fishing.   We will never be fishers of men unless we go where the fish are. You won’t catch fish unless you leave your pew or house.  In order to be fishers of men, we must be intentional and search for lost friends, family, neighbors, and those with whom we have various kinds of encounters. 

Our job isn’t to catch fish but to go fishing. Catching people is the work of God. We are simply a tool in His hands.  You can go fishing without catching fish, but you cannot catch fish without going fishing. When you stand before God, He probably will not ask how many fish you caught. I do wonder if He will ask how many times we went fishing. 

One thing is for sure, you can’t catch fish if you don’t go fishing.

While sitting at a busy intersection in Florida, I was shocked at what I saw.  Across the lane from where I was, there was chaos, screaming, and yelling.  An elderly gentleman was in his car and a young woman was pounding on his window and yelling for him to get out of car.  While watching this incident unfold, I actually spoke out loud even though I was alone in the car.  “Why is she being so hateful to that man.  Road rage is totally out of control.  When I get through this red light, I’m going over there!” 

Everything changed in the next few minutes.  I noticed others gathering around the car.  Someone opened the door and pulled the man out and moved him away from the vehicle.  Then, I saw smoke billowing out from under the car.   This was not a case of road rage. This was a case of saving a man’s life. The story had a totally different ending than what I had written in my mind.

When we find ourselves in situations that seem dire, it is easy to immediately go to the end of the story – the end that we have determined in our own minds.  BUT GOD!  God has the remarkable power to change the ending of the story. 

The Bible has quite a few stories that illustrate for us that “obvious” conclusions can change when God is involved.  Let’s look at a very familiar story that painted a picture of obvious defeat as its conclusion.

Our story is found in 1 Samuel 17. The Israelite army faced a foe that would surely bring defeat.  Goliath stood more than nine feet tall, wore armor that was about one hundred twenty-five pounds, and wielded a huge sword which was tipped with an iron spearhead that weighed fifteen pounds. For forty days this giant of a man taunted the people of God day and night.  The king and David’s brothers told him to go home for he had no chance to defeat Goliath.   As David walked into that situation, all those watching thought, “Pull the curtain, this opera is over!”  The conclusion is already etched in stone!   David with just a sling, some stones, and the power of God demolished this man who was probably twice the size of David. 

What situation is taunting you day and night and has been for a while?   Do you hear its voice taunting you over and over, and it appears that the situation will bring a dark conclusion? The adversary of your soul wants you to assume the worst possible conclusion.  He wants you to resign to inevitable defeat, throw up your hands, and give up. 

Take heart, child of God!  The same God that guided a stone to slay a giant can change the ending of your story.   You walk with the same God who made a highway through the Red Sea when the presumed conclusion was defeat.  You serve the same God that watched as the enemy taunted the followers of Jesus as He hung on a cross. They heard the taunting, “It is over!”   I have a feeling that God flashed a smile in heaven and said, “Oh, it is over alright!” 

Rejoice, child of God!  If you belong to God and have surrendered your life to Him, He is the author of your story, not you.  You serve a God who can rewrite endings.  Take the pen out of the devil’s hand and put it back in God’s hand.  

“…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. “ – Hebrews 12:2.   “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

My husband Gaylon was a pastor for thirty-three years, and he dearly loved God’s people.  He was there for them through thick and thin.  Eventually, Gaylon became a chaplain, and though no longer a pastor, as a chaplain he was still very deeply involved in the lives of others. 

A woman who we will call “Ellie” came to our church on a Sunday morning and after the message, Gaylon led her in prayer, and she received Jesus as Savior.  Ellie was a visitor in town and would only be in our church that morning.  God had set up a divine appointment for her.   Since she was a one-time visitor, in all honesty, we did not remember her through the years.

One day we unexpectedly received a package from someone we did not know.  It was from Ellie.   She was able to track down where we were.  (Note:  there are not very many Gaylon Bentons in the world.)    She sent us some lovely items and a heartfelt letter thanking Gaylon for leading her to Jesus.   After more than twenty-five years she was still living a Christian life.   Hanging in my hallway, I have one of the pictures that Ellie sent us.  When my eye catches it, I am reminded of the great privilege of being used by God to bring life-change to another person. 

So often we hear about role models and heroes.  Throwing someone a lifeline when they are drowning is the best kind of hero one can be.  Christianity should not be passive.   You do not have to walk through fire or jump through hoops to be someone’s hero.  Just throw them a lifeline.    Sometimes that lifeline will be in the form of sharing the Gospel.  It might be in the area of a financial hardship. Other times, a person might be drowning in a sea of loneliness or a sea of discouragement.  There are so many ways to be a lifeline to people. 

I am so thankful for those who threw me a lifeline at times when I was drowning:

1. Margarita Poulos threw me the ultimate lifeline when she saw a dirty, sad little girl and introduced her to the Bible and to Jesus Christ.
2. Iverna Tompkins threw me a lifeline when I was a young, disillusioned pastor’s wife. Through her teachings, conversations, and visits with her, she taught me to grow strong in the Lord.  I was blessed with a great mentor.
3. A woman who on a Sunday morning at church noticed the ragged and torn shoes I was wearing.  Kids at school laughed at my shoes often. I was just a child, but she met me in the church yard and slipped money into my hand.  She simply said, “God wants you to have a new pair of shoes.”  That day was the beginning of my understanding that God noticed me and cared about me.
4. An anonymous hero who threw me the lifeline of college tuition when I was being forced to drop out of my Christian college due to lack of funds.  I do not know who paid that money, but it was truly a lifesaver.  I continued in my education and met my future husband the next year.
5. Gaylon Benton who was patient and loving to me during those early years of our marriage when I was an absolute mess.  I brought so much pain and baggage with me.  He truly was a hero that was used by God in my healing process.

I could continue listing people along the way who threw me lifelines.  There have been so many.   1 Peter 4:10 states, “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving on another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Who threw you a lifeline along the way, a lifeline that was life-changing?  Who had an impact on your life when it was needed?  An even greater question, “Who can you throw a lifeline to this week?”  There are drowning people all around us.  Let God use you to be someone’s hero. 

Dr. Charles Stanley recently stepped into the presence of the God he loved.   I loved to hear Dr. Stanley preach for he never wavered from truth.  I watched his life celebration service, and it was obvious he left behind a tremendous legacy.  As I watched the celebration, I was struck by the men and women of God who paid tribute to Dr. Stanley. David Jeremiah, Charles Swindoll, Tony Evans, Jim Cymbala, and Franklin Graham were among those giving honor to the life of Charles Stanley.  I was moved as I realized that all of these leaders were in their seventies and eighties.   Each of them had served God for decades and were still actively serving God. They will each leave us great riches someday. Legacy.

Our desire, while on the earth, should be to give off a sweet fragrance that demonstrates who our precious Lord is.  Legacy can leave a sweet fragrance of God long after we are gone. 

^“So, Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean? Tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.” – Joshua 4:4-7

Joshua chapter four shares a wonderful story about legacy.   God had miraculously helped His people to cross over a tumultuous river Jordan.  As the last ones crossed, God had them take twelve stones  from the riverbed of the Jordan and use them to build a memorial on the other side.  They were to use these “memory” stones to pass down the story to the younger generations.  God wanted every generation to hear the stories of who God is and what He has done.  Legacy.

Over the years, I have written about the work of God in my life. When I was about to celebrate my sixtieth birthday, I decided to recall places where I journeyed with God and saw His hand at work.  For a month leading up to that birthday, I wrote stories of God’s hand on each decade of my life.  Via blog, I have also recorded many stories of times in which the Lord’s power was demonstrated in my life and ministry.  Legacy.

What “stones” have you recorded so that the younger generations will know what God has done in your life to bring you to this point?  Have you written them down so that your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, brothers, and sisters will see how God impacted your life?  Today is the day to start.  Go back and record when you met Jesus.  How did that change you?  Record times when God miraculously healed you or provided financial resources when times were desperate.  Legacy.

Gaylon and I both are hopeful that we can leave our children some sort of inheritance.  It will be small, but we hope to be able to do that.  However, we are more concerned that we leave our children with a legacy.   We want them to remember parents who walked with God and had stories to prove it!   Go ahead and bless your children with an inheritance, but more importantly, bless them with a legacy.  Write it down!  Start today.

Growing up, my family was more infamous than famous.  There were ten of us in a four-room dilapidated house.  At times there were barely enough clothes to wear and food to eat.  Not a lot of people wanted to hang out with us.  Then, Charlie came along. Charlie drew a lot of interest from a lot of people, and an article was even in the local paper telling the story of Charlie. 

I am not sure exactly how Charlie came to live with us, but I do know that my father brought him.  Charlie was a baby fawn who did not have a mother.  Across the street from our house was a huge fenced in piece of land that was littered with hundreds of pine trees.  Mr. Moise owned the land and gave my father permission to put Charlie inside the fence. 

Charlie had lots of room to run and play.   We trained him to come to one corner of the fence in order to give him milk out of a bottle.  In what seemed like no time at all, Charlie would come to that corner and wait for one of us to walk over and feed him milk. 

Over time, Charlie grew into a large buck with antlers.  He no longer needed a bottle to be fed.   Charlie got restless over time and no longer wanted to be limited by the barrier of the fence.  Charlie realized that as long as he stayed behind the fence, he would never experience the life he was born to experience.    He would never be what he was made to be unless he overcame the fence.

One day as we were sitting on the front porch, a movement caught our eye.  Charlie, with all his strength and might, made a running start and jumped that fence.  Freedom!   He would no longer be confined by the barrier whose purpose was to keep Charlie from becoming all he was meant to be. 

I wonder how many times Charlie walked up to that fence or ran up to that fence, only to be stopped by fear.  How many times had Charlie wanted out of that confinement, but felt he did not have the strength to overcome?

What fences stand between you and freedom today?  What fences have confined you from that for which God has created you?  In order to protect ourselves from pain and fear of failure, we often build imaginary fences and walls.   The walls we build are meant to protect us,  but those walls can actually keep us from experiencing the true freedom and joy that comes from above. 

In my lifetime, I have built fences because of fear, wound, fear of failure, self-image, and others.  I became confined by what my mind was telling me.  “You can never get beyond this point.”  “You can never stand in front of people and teach.”   “You can never trust a man after what your father did to you.”  The voices were nonstop.  So many times, I would gain a little momentum and run towards freedom only to encounter the fence.   Defeated, I would go back to my confined life, limited by the fence.

Think of fences as strongholds.  The Bible speaks to the issue of strongholds.   Strongholds are patterns of erroneous thinking that have taken a “strong hold” in our minds.  God had to show me that the fences I built in my mind were keeping me confined. 

We can overcome the fences or strongholds that have held us prisoner.  Though I cannot be exhaustive in this short blog, I can help you to get started.  Ask God to show you the lie(s) you have believed.  This is done by seeing the truth of what God has said.   Scripture can expose the lies that are deeply rooted in our minds.   Once we know what God has said about something, act on that.  Things might not change instantaneously but change they will!

No matter how many times you walk up to that fence and turn around in seeming defeat, be like Charlie.  Keep gaining momentum and you will scale the fence that has entrapped you.  In Jeremiah 23:29, God says: “Is not My Word like a fire…and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces? ” The answer is YES!

Mary, the mother of Jesus, must have felt a bit of anxiety the day she explained the situation to Joseph, the man she was to marry.   How shall I tell him that I am going to have a baby?  What is he going to think when I tell him that it is God who brought about this pregnancy?

Mary was likely a young teen when she became betrothed (engaged) to Joseph.  Most suggest that Mary was between thirteen and fifteen.  Being pregnant at that age in those times was not a problem, however being pregnant and unwed was a major problem.  She stood to be shamed, ridiculed, and even stoned. 

After Mary accepted the will of God to bear Jesus, she had to share it with Joseph.  How would she tell him?  Finally, the day came when she had to share the news.  “Joseph, I am going to be a mother.  An angel came and told me it would happen and that this baby is the Son of God.”  Now I am using a little imagination here, but if I were Joseph, my response would most likely be, “Do you think I am crazy!?” 

The bible in Matthew chapter 1 tells us that Joseph was troubled about the situation and struggled with how to handle it.  He had the right to shame Mary as he broke off the engagement.  Scripture tells us that he decided not to make a spectacle out of her, but to manage the situation quietly, however the marriage was off!   One night as Joseph was sleeping an angel of the Lord came to him in a dream and confirmed Mary’s story.   Joseph then took Mary as his wife and the rest is history.

What changed Joseph?   Did Mary continue to nag him?  Did Mary’s family come to him and tell him he was wrong?  Did the priest tell him to do the right thing?  No, it was God who changed Joseph’s mind and heart.

So often we think it is our job to convince someone of what God said.  Mary told Joseph what God had revealed to her.  It was not her job to convince Joseph to live by God’s revelation to her. Mary had to stop striving and start abiding.  Mary had to be still and let God be God.   Mary had to trust God with Joseph. 

Are you struggling with someone who will not walk according to what God has said in His word?  Perhaps it is a child who has forsaken the faith or no longer speaks with you, a spouse who will not do the right thing, a person at church who seems off the right path, or someone at work with whom you have shared the faith.  It is easy to fall into the trap of “it is my job to convince them.” 

Is it possible that God wants you to be still and know that He is God? To trust Him with the seeds you have planted?  To trust Him to work in the situation?

So, what can we do while we wait? Here are a few suggestions of what to do instead of constantly trying to convince the other person. 

The process is hard sometimes.  It is frustrating at times.  Only God can change a heart, but the truth is God CAN CHANGE people.  There is an old saying that has been around for decades, “Let go and let God.”  Sometimes that phrase can produce laziness when one expects God to do it all.  Yet, there are times that we have to place it at His feet and trust Him to work. 

Beep … beep … beep.  As I backed out of my garage, I had a lot on my mind.  The radio was playing. I was checking my GPS.  Beep … beep … beep.  The sound was definitely there, but I was oblivious to it.   The warning was loud and clear, but I just kept backing out of my garage paying little attention to the beep … beep… beep.  Suddenly the sound was rapid and loud.  BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!  The next sound was a CRASH!  I had backed my nice car into my husband’s nice SUV.  My car was programmed to get my attention to alter my course, but I did not pay attention.

As we walk with the Lord, there are times He steps in to alter the course we are following.  There are many ways God can send a beep … beep … beep.  He can speak to us as we read His word.  He can speak to us through another person or a song on the radio.  He can allow a meeting we were excited about to be cancelled.   There can be a change in circumstances. Someone else got the promotion. God, at times, does send us a message saying, “Alter your course.” 

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). As humans we should make plans, but we must always ask God to guide our steps and change our plans when He sees fit.  There are times that God has to redirect our steps because the path we are on is not in alignment with His will.  When this happens, it is easy to get angry or agitated.  It is easy to think things are falling apart when they are actually falling into place to line up with God’s best.   The steps of a righteous man are ordered by God, but so are the stops of a righteous man!  Pay attention to the beep … beep … beep that heaven sends.  God is always out for our good.  ALWAYS. 

Are you going through a beep … beep … beep right now?  Stop and ask God if He is sounding an alarm to change course.  What might seem like an annoying sound in your ears could be an interruption from God bringing a different opportunity.   Some of those interruptions could be clothed as unique opportunities from God.   An opportunity from God is always better than a CRASH! Trust God when He interrupts your plans.

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” – Proverbs 19:21

As a child, we had few toys with which to play.  Of course, video games were unheard of, and though board games were probably available, we were too poor to own any.  Our play was all outside, and I mean ALL!  We would play from sunrise till sundown. 

My dad arose each morning at 5:00 to shave, have breakfast, and catch a ride for work.   Ten of us lived in a four room house, so when one arose, there was little sleep after that. That meant lots of playing time. Having eight children meant there was rarely a time that we lacked playmates.  Add in the neighborhood kids and it was a party! We played, played, played!

During the summer when daylight was longer,  we would be out playing for many hours.  We paid little attention to the fact that darkness was beginning to surround us.  Suddenly my father would sound the alarm.  “Barbara, Laney, Bubba, get in this house right now.  Come out of the dark.”   We had been so content enjoying life, that we did not realize that darkness had overtaken light.  When we heard our father’s voice and looked at him standing in the light of the porch, it was evident that darkness was all around us.  It was only by seeing my father in his light that we could see the dark place in which we found ourselves.

It is not breaking news to say that darkness is getting thick.   We are all aware that darkness is upon many nations including ours. I dare say we even find it in many churches. This has happened in the areas of sexuality, gender, marriage, violence, and many others.   How do we know if something is dark?  We look at it in the light of the Father’s word.  In the light that the Father provides it is not difficult to expose darkness. 

Ephesians 5:14 tells us, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” (NLT). Just as my father said, “It is time to come in out of the dark,” God is calling His children to get up, to move from a sitting position, to wake up, and to move forward into the light. 

Is it possible that you are dabbling in darkness?  Is it possible that you have become comfortable in the culture?  There is only one way to know.  We must compare our lives, our decisions, and our actions to the light of Father’s word.  Complaining about culture does little.  If God’s people will live in the light of the word, it will have an effect on the culture. 

As we prepare for this Easter Sunday, let us remember that Jesus died to dispel darkness.  As children of God, the blood of Jesus broke the darkness in our lives.  His Spirit dwells within us and his glory is upon us.  Awake!   Shine!   Of all the things on your to do list, let the top thing be to arise and shine your light for the Lord. Every minute, every hour and every day SHINE.  This is your call to action. This is your mission. Arise! Shine! It’s time to glow in the dark.

Pray with me a prayer I recently read and find it to be powerful. “Father, I’m pressing into You. I’m basking in Your light until it becomes mine. Lord, make me stronger and abide with me as my heart speaks to You. Direct my steps and give me courage to speak of the good news to anyone who will listen, because the time of Your return is upon us Jesus. Thank you for your sacrifice that is still powerful today.  From this moment onward I deny myself as I follow you. May I become less as you are glorified within me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!

Recently, my mind has taken quite a few strolls down memory lane.  It has been kind of fun to recall things that happened at school, home, and with friends. For decades I never wanted to reminisce about growing up because it was not a great time.  Life was hard in that old dilapidated, four-room house where ten people lived. 

Today a memory played over and over on the projector of my mind.  I want to share that memory. The reason I am sharing part of my story is to give hope.  My purpose today is to say, “There is healing in the Name of Jesus.   There is hope in the Name of Jesus. There is new life in the Name of Jesus.” 

I was only six years old.  Six years old should be such a fun time for a child, but I found myself hiding in an abandoned building sobbing.  Family is supposed to be the safest place on earth, but what happens when it isn’t?  Just one hour earlier my life was forever changed through the abusive actions of a close family member.  That abuse would continue off and on for the next twelve years.  After leaving for college, the abuse stopped, but the fear, anger, trauma, and shame would live with me for years. I was trapped in a prison built by trauma.

That was a sad time, but today I am here to testify of the goodness of God.  I just came to proclaim that we do not have to be held hostage by the pain that family or anyone else has inflicted!   When one knows Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, there is healing for a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken life.  I wish someone had explained to me that Jesus wanted to open the door of the prison cell in which I was trapped.

Satan does not care how we react to events that have traumatized us, as long as we don’t turn to Jesus Christ for true healing.  The devil loves it when we succumb to the pain of life, rather than let healing waters wash over us.  It took me quite a few years to get there but get there I did! 

In this brief narrative, I cannot possibly cover the whole process of my healing journey.   Childhood trauma is not an easy subject to discuss, yet so many need to be heard and healed.  

Today, I’m mad!  I am mad that the devil has convinced so many that they will forever be in a prison of what someone did to them.  Trauma is inflicted on far too many.  I personally believe it is an epidemic in today’s sexually charged, dysfunctional atmosphere.  I want to shout from the rooftops that there is HOPE, there is HEALING!

Many come to Christ for salvation, but never know the joy of being healed by His power.   Today, I can testify that I am not just living – I am thriving!  I found the source of true healing, and my hope is that I can help others to find that same healing. You can live an abundant life!   You can thrive!  You can get your life back!  Healing changes life!

If you are someone who is trapped in a prison cause by childhood abuse, let me say that I am so sorry for what you experienced.  I literally get choked up thinking about what has happened to so many.  What happened to you is inexcusable.   I wish I could be right there right now and wrap my arms around you. 

The healing journey is not always an easy one, and it looks different for each person.  The road usually requires companions to accompany us – a good counselor, a loving family member, a small group, a great church family, or other resources, and the most-trusted companion of all JESUS CHRIST.

Abuse is a sad reality, but it is not beyond the healing touch of God. The Lord God can redeem and restore. I am one of millions who can sing the song of healing. God wants to heal YOU.   

Ephesians 3:20 tells us, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”   This is my new reality.  How, might you ask?  I am no longer in that old, abandoned building.  I now live in a house of love, built by God and family.  My companions on the journey helped to bring about healing. I have lived a life beyond what I ever imagined.

Ephesians 3:20 is also for you!  God can and desires to do more than you can imagine in your life.   Join hands with God and other companions and start the journey of healing today!