Many things can be said about Gaylon and me, but it cannot be said that we are wealthy! We have been careful with finances especially as we approached our golden years. We have tried to be wise financially, generous in helping others, and trust God with the rest.

As I was shopping in a local grocery store, I inserted my debit card to pay for my groceries. I requested forty dollars cash back. I had not one dollar of cash in my wallet, so I decided I should get a little. The transaction went smoothly, so I headed out the door.

About five minutes down the road to home, I remembered that I did not collect my forty dollars in cash. I quickly turned my car around and headed back to the store. I hurried into the store to check for my cash, but there was no cash at the register.

Three employees were standing right by the register, so I asked if anyone had turned in money. All said, “No!”

After getting in my car and heading home once again, I was a wee bit upset. Forty dollars for us was a lot of money, especially at that time. I was sad, angry, and upset!

When I arrived home, I put away my groceries and sat down. All I could think of was those forty dollars. Finally, I talked to God about it. “Father, it is hard for us to lose forty dollars. God, please let it be in the hands of someone who really needed it. I place that money in Your hands.”

A couple of weeks later, I was in the same shopping area. There are ten or twelve shops in the strip mall. I parked far away, as I often do, to get extra steps of exercise. It was a windy day. As I began to walk towards the mall, a brisk wind suddenly blew. I looked down, and I saw paper blowing towards me and it stopped at my feet. I picked it up. It was a fifty-dollar bill.

I wanted to return the fifty dollars to the rightful owner, but how would I identify the owner? There were several stores, and I was far from the strip mall. I looked around and saw no one appearing to look for lost money. I sat in my car and watched for a while trying to see if someone was looking for the lost money. I put the money in my wallet. After arriving home, I checked all the social media groups in our area trying to see if the money was reported as lost. Nothing about someone losing money was there.

I continued looking at the groups for the next couple of weeks. No one ever posted about losing money.

Is it possible that God replaced my forty dollars and then some? I believe that to be true! I serve a “then some” God.

Through almost fifty-five years of marriage and ministry, Gaylon and I have known lean times and bountiful times. We have known times when we were not sure how we would put gas in the car for me to get to work. Serving God does not mean there will never be financially challenging times. There will be. But as I look back over fifty-five years, I can truly sing:

He’s been faithful, faithful to me
Looking back, His love and mercy I see
Though in my heart I have questioned
Even failed to believe
That He’s been faithful, so faithful to me!

Psalm 37:3 NKJV reminds us of this when the writer says, “Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.”

God’s faithfulness will be with us when seasons are good and when seasons are bad. I can declare, without hesitation, God has been faithful to me.

Are you feeling fear right now about what might be ahead? I have found that sitting down and reminiscing about God’s faithfulness changes my fearful heart to a trusting heart. Remember that you serve a God who can send a wind to blow blessings into your life when you least expect it.

Mother’s Day has just passed, and I am always grateful for the privilege of raising three sons and now enjoying nine grandchildren. I was going back in time to read blogs I had written about experiences as a mother. It would do us all well to go back and remember what God has done. This story I wrote quite a few years ago bolstered my faith today. I hope it will do the same for you.

Gone at the age of thirty-six. He was in the prime of his life and about to become a father for the first time but never got to meet his son. The first few months after the death of our son Bryan were brutal. There is no way to accurately describe the emotions and pain.

Like it or not, after a loved one dies, we have to keep moving. I do not mean that we will forget the person or the pain – trust me, you wish you could lose the sickening pain, but we have to keep living. Part of that living is taking care of business. After a death, one has to immediately be concerned about business matters. It is just part of the process. As a mother, while I grieved deeply for my son, my attention was more drawn to his wife and unborn child. We wanted to do everything we possibly could to help them with life, which meant lots of prayer, and assisting any way possible.

Bryan and Sarah had purchased a boat the summer before his home-going, and it needed to be sold. People worked together to clean up the boat and get it ready for sale, and then to list it in several places. I thought, surely because we serve God, it will sell by tomorrow afternoon. Not! So, we waited, and waited, and then guess what, we waited!

Sarah was having a baby shower in Virginia, and Gaylon and I were to attend. As time grew a little closer, my husband realized he had a schedule conflict. Gaylon was to perform a wedding for someone who worked with the company where he is chaplain. There was no way to change the wedding, and no way for Gaylon to accompany me to Virginia. With tears streaming, I asked God, “Can’t you do something about this? Where are you during this pain? Can’t you keep these plans from getting so messed up?”  End of story.

That is the true story … but wait … let’s get the rest of the story.

That spring weekend, I drove to the shower, and Gaylon stayed behind to officiate the wedding. While at the rehearsal, my husband was talking with someone, and they mentioned that they were looking for a boat. Gaylon began to tell them the story of Bryan, and the boat that Sarah needed to sell – a boat that was five-hundred miles away. As they continued talking, the person stated they wanted to buy the boat.

Gaylon called to tell me the good news, and this “faith-filled” woman of God said, “That man is not going to drive to North Carolina to get a boat that he has never laid eyes on. I will believe it when I see it.”  (Just call me doubting Thomasina!)  In less than a month, the boat was sold and on its way from North Carolina to Alabama.

My problem was that I immediately put “THE END” on the story of an unsold boat and messed up plans. I could not see God working in my messed-up plans, but God was positioning us to receive the miraculous selling of a boat. God was still writing the story.

God is the author of “the rest of the story.”  God has the wonderful ability of messing up our plans to position us for a divine answer. Perhaps you are asking, “Where is God?”  I asked the same question. The answer for me was, “I am at a wedding in Alabama working on your behalf.”

When you think your plans are messed up, it might be that God messed them up so He could write the last chapter. Just wait … the rest of the story is being written, and it will be a much better “THE END” than the way you would write it.

“Since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!” – Isaiah 64:4

My heart was so sad to read of a pastor’s wife who recently took her life. She left behind five children and a husband. By hundreds of accounts, this woman was the picture of joy and helped so many people. Yet, she was hurting terribly inside. I am republishing a blog about Christians and depression.

We moved several times over the course of forty-three years of marriage. Thank God we have not moved in a long time and will soon celebrate fifty-five years together. While living in Florida, we lived temporarily in someone’s vacant, furnished home while our home was being built. This required that most of our belongings stay in storage for several months – several months in a storage shed in sunny, HOT Florida.

Finally, the day arrived to move into our home. As I began unpacking boxes, I got to my couch cushions. They had been pressed up against something and were pushed inward and would not bounce back. The arms on the sofa had huge indentations where heavy items had sat on them. Before that, they were always able to bounce back when pressure was applied. This time the cushions became depressed because of months of unrelenting pressure. As a result, they lost the beauty they had once had.

That is a description of depression. Often in life we bounce back from all kinds of pressures and situations. Then, one day we cannot seem to bounce back, and one day turns into many days. We just cannot seem to bounce back. We can lose that glimmer in our eyes or our contagious laughter.

Sometimes it is hard to confess that we are suffering from the pain of depression. Depression is one of the touchy subjects of the church. Many proclaim it is a spirit or a demon, and the person needs a laying-on-hands deliverance. While that might be true sometimes, often it is not!

I think that depression can be categorized in two basic ways: clinical depression and situational depression. I have asked a friend, who is a Christian counselor, to write a follow-up blog, with some clarification about clinical depression. That will be posted a few months down the line. Clinical depression is a medical condition requiring professional help with a plan of action to wellness, just as illnesses of the body require a doctor.

There is no way one can exhaustively cover this subject in a blog. I shall endeavor to give basic info about situational depression and ways to win the victory.

Some people suffer from situational depression. Situational depression can come from divorce, death, financial problems, abuse, unfaithfulness of a spouse, health issues, infertility, wayward children, or other life circumstances.

I will use the death of a loved one as an example. I personally suffered situational depression after losing our son Bryan. The experience took my breath away at times, caused many sleepless nights and caused me to experience a pall of heaviness that I could not shake. The interesting thing is that I experienced that for a few months after Bryan’s death, and then it strongly revisited as the new year began. Situational depression can come upon us when pain or disappointment is overwhelming.

There I said it! Barbara Benton has suffered bouts of depression. I am still a Spirit-filled, bible-believing, God-loving, and song-singing child of God! That statement will shock some, and cause others to look at me a bit differently. It is okay. I am all about helping people understand that they do not have to be overcome by life but can be an overcomer in life.

What have I learned through these times?

1. God is not mad at a depressed person. He wants to comfort the heart and bring peace.
2. Stay in His Word, not because we must read daily or we are bad Christians, but because much strength comes as the Word of truth penetrates the dark night of the soul. Walk around reading Psalms aloud. Insert your name as you read. For example: The Lord is Barbara Benton’s shepherd. He will cause ME to lie down in green pastures of rest. He will do that because “I” am His child.
3. Press through the “I don’t feel like it” emotion. The Word of God is true, firm, and unchanging.
4. Have faith in God. Trust in the darkness what you have learned in the light. It WILL bring you through. Trust what God says rather than your feelings. Feelings can be deceptive.
5. Talk with a close friend or family member who can be trusted, and who will pray with/for you. The devil would love for you to keep it a secret. I went through a period of not wanting others to know how much I was suffering. Make regular prayer appointments with those people. Prayer is essential, and the power of what it can do is immeasurable.
6. Exercise. Do not hole up in your home. Staying in all by myself was a great temptation.
7. Speak to a Christian counselor, if needed. That person can help to put things in perspective.

It is impossible to cover all that the Bible says about depression, sorrow, and hopelessness, so I will only share a bit.

1. David was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, his heart was desolate, and his tears fell all night.
2. Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, and Elijah expressed feelings of rejection, loneliness, self-pity, hopelessness, overwhelming grief, and wished they had not been born. They are expressing more than temporary sadness, but symptoms of depression.
3. After the death of her husband and sons, Naomi asked that her name be changed to “Mara” which means bitterness.
4. In Corinthians 2, Paul had symptoms of depression: his flesh had no rest, he was troubled on all sides, he was cast down, he had fears within, and he despaired of life.
5. Hannah had many symptoms of depression, and her spiritual leader instantly, and incorrectly, accused her of having a drinking problem.

God brought each of them through their times of despondency. God saw where each was emotionally. God cared. God brought them through. God wants to do that for you! God does want us to live life abundantly, which is His ordained plan for the believer.

God is our hope in the midst of depression. One of the great truths of the Bible is that God is with us when we are in trouble, including depression. The message is clear. When depression hits, fix your eyes on God, His power, and His love for you. This is what God has declared:

• The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
• The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
• So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. (John 14:16)
• Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

What do I want you to take away from this blog? You are not a horrible Christian if you have been through, or you are going through depression. God does not love you any less. I also want you to know that I can testify to this: “He has turned my mourning into dancing. He has put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.”  I want you to know that “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Though we go through dark times, God will bring us back into a time of rejoicing. Indeed, He will! When you are troubled and depressed, there is hope in God. I can testify to that!

Anything else? Have compassion for believers who are in dark times. Pray for them Check on them. Love them. They are still God’s children.